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The Anty Report 5/10/13

iwannabeacowboy

Well-known member
WASHINGTON D.C.- (The Anty Borrowwits Report- We don't lean to the left, we point right at them.)

Breaking news from the White House today. Amid all the previous turmoil, further undeniable, incriminating evidence has been forced upon the White House Correspondents again.

Apparently the Owebama administration is weakening and the stong arm tactics of uniting through division are no longer as effective as they once were. Whistle blowers are even bravely showing their faces on national cameras. News agencies are no longer feeling compelled to threaten, demote, terminate investigative journalists or even block stories from the front pages. White House Correspondents even turned on Jay Carney today, asking him questions in an almost Republican Administration fashion.

The latest, however, with the breaking of the IRS story, the following statements by high officials in the Owebama administration were inadvertently recorded and released:

President: "Quick, we need a sarcastic column to deflect this. Someone get Borrowitz on the phone."

WH Official: "Sir, Andy is swamped. He's working overtime trying to smooth over Benghazi still. Not to mention the failed sequester bit and airport delays, the titanic fear of true Owebamacare costs, and...."

President: "What?!? Why is Benghazi still a problem? Didn't we already say how it was no longer an issue, it happened so long ago? We already trampled the rights of one US citizen who we have illegally imprisoned and falsely accused. How many citizens is it going to take for one simple cover up?"

WH Official: "Sir, there's just too many scandels. There coming fast and furious....(gasp)."

President: "I said to NEVER use that phrase in my presence again!"

WH Official: "Sorry, your majesty."

President: "Now, go quickly, like a bunny... Have our lower level operatives re-run Borrowitz reports to distract until current columns can be caught up."

WH Official: "Sir, what code should we use for this operation?"

President: "Operation, Wabbit!"

WH Official: "Good one sir!"

When confronted with these tapes sessions, Press Secretary Carney stated that, "it is believed by the intelligence community, after we provided them with an acceptable dialog, that right wing conspiracists created the "fake" recording." Carney said, "I promise that this administration will have an unknown individual charged and imprisoned by noon tomorrow for these crimes." He later added that following the weekend's meetings, the White House reserves the right to have "stylistic changes" Monday and categorically deny any statements from the previous week.

Asked about what he means by "stylistic changes", Carney said: "I accept that stylistic may not precisely describe the change of one word to another." If that answer doesn't slam the door shut on this case, what will?

When asked about these matters and provide his overall view of the Owebama administration, Sec of State Kerry replied: “So that’s really what this is about?" "It’s a tragedy. But I hate to see it turn into a pure, prolonged, political process that really doesn’t tell us anything new about the facts." Kerry went on to say, "If you didn't understand the facts reported by Fox the first time, how are you going to understand them by reporting them again?"

Kerry, speaking online Friday afternoon during a Google+ hangout, said he'd been following reports of the Benghazi hearings closely. But he said that, "after all of the hearings that I took part in" as the Senate Foreign Relations Committee chairman, and in classified and unclassified briefings, I really haven't learned anything new" this week. When asked to discuss his knowledge of what he knew in the past and when, Kerry pleaded the 5th saying, "you got me?", or "you got me." We are unsure of which statement he intended at the moment. With a little luck on the part of this administration, we will never be sure.

He did however vow to leave ‘no stone unturned’ on Benghazi. Shortly after the press conference, there are unconfirmed reports that he was on the phone to the pentagon requesting complete annihilation of the Benghazi compound, in the event that CNN personnel left any incriminating evidence behind.

Owebama, consistent with the transparent nature of his Presidency, has not made himself available for questioning yet on the secrete taping. Many are wondering how the President is going to defend against this? Who recorded it? Is it legal? Many with close ties to the President say that it doesn't really matter and believe that he is going to claim "Democratic Immunity".

They went on to describe this further, saying to understand this legal defense, compare Clinton's illegal tapings vs Mcconnell, and who was persecuted by the press. Compare Watergate vs Kentucky PAC- who went to jail? One unidentified White House spokesman said, "It is simple, ever since we bought the press... We are rubber and the Pubs are glue. What accusations don't get reported on us, we'll falsely accuse of you."

Biden was unreachable by phone today for comment. He is apparently still looking for it. The last place he remembers having it was in a closed door meeting yesterday with some suits, while he was unsuccessfully trying to get a unlabeled record to play on it. He is asking anyone who finds it to please return it. He really misses walking out on the second story terrace and playing with his shot gun sound app. Looking like someone who lost their puppy, Biden said, "Having to make the sounds myself, just doesn't provide the same effect."
 
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