• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

The gender of non-living things.

Help Support Ranchers.net:


Well-known member
Feb 14, 2005
Reaction score
East north east of Soapweed
You may not know that many non-living things have a gender.

For example:

Ziploc bags are Male. They are male because they hold everything in, but you
can see right through them.

Copiers are Female. They are female because once turned off, it takes a while
to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

Tires are Male because they go bald and are often over-inflated.

Hot Air Balloons are Male because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light
a fire under them, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are Female because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

The Web Page is Female because it's always getting hit on.

The Subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

The Hourglass is Female because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer is Male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5000 years,
but it's handy to have around.

The Remote Control is Female. Yes, you thought it would be male. But consider
this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always
know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.


Well-known member
Feb 10, 2005
Reaction score
I DON'T agree with all on the he said she said part. :)
Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n
Female... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female.... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male....... Anything that can be done while drinking beer

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-__expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest __expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female..... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . .. You wear pants don't you?

He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . .... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . . Why did the man cross the road?
She said. He heard the chicken was a slut.

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said .. . . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said ... . We don't know; it has never happened.

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


Well-known member
Feb 13, 2005
Reaction score
Hey you two are fixin ta start a helluva fight in the coffe shop :D :D .............good luck


New member
Oct 15, 2005
Reaction score
that was very nice reasoning for every gender
they all are very much justified
you know in french every none living thing is also male or female
i have wondered how they go about determining the gender of those things


Well-known member
Oct 27, 2005
Reaction score
NW Panhandle Texas
NAWWWWWW Haymaker both post are too funny to start a fight. LOL How can you get mad at something funny and true at the same time?????

Latest posts