Ever since the Terry Schiavo debacle there has been an increase of living wills from 10,000 a year to 40,000. This is our form for the New Living Will. I think this is the best living will form that I've seen.
It's easy to understand, and it makes perfect sense as a well. It will help cut the paper work.
I, _________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of ex-spouses, pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
______a Bloody Mary,
______a Margarita
______a Cold Beer
______a steak
______a glass of wine
______lobster or crab legs
______the remote control
______chocolate
______sex
______a cigarette
______cheese Krystals and/or Krispy Kremes
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.