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The Ostrich

Soapweed

Well-known member
The Ostrich



A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke.."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same.."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man..

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
That could be me in that story if only I had the money and the chick that always agreed with me.
 

balestabber

Well-known member
:lol: i used to raise the tall chicks with a big butt and long legs and mine agreed with me most of the time.but once during a mating season one about took my Levi's off with her toe nails.i might have wrote about it.
 

HAY MAKER

Well-known member
that was funny Soap,ever time I think of those big ole birds it makes me smile,lotsa stories around here of folks gonna get rich in the ostrich buisness,one ole boy usta deliver diesel for me and ever time i seen him he had to tell me about his birds and how he was gonna make big money,was tryin to talk me into gettin some of em........No i said im to old fashioned i'll just stick to cattle,besides i asked dont those damned things get mean I heard they can knock a man out cold if they peck you in the head,most of those old rooster ostriches are lots taller'n a full growed man ?
Nah he said lemme show you something and he gets this elastic band outa his truck,see this ? all you hafta do is slip this on your arm and then you grab that old rooster by his beak and slid the band down your arm and cover his eyes,then they are easy to handle,move em anywhere you want pen/trailer whatever no problem.
Well that mighty interestin but I'll stick with theses ole black cows.
Next time i seen him there was'nt a place on him that would'nt pecked skint or black n blue,I said lemme guess that band fell offa that old ostrich rooster :D :D
Anyway did'nt mean to hijack your post but it just seems to me anything with feathers is some kinda trouble.
After the bottom fellouta the big bird buisness folks just turned em loose,was a couple hangin around a tank of mine,I got off a tractor once to see what the level was like when I walked up the damn was a couple big birds drinkin water,I thought they were pretty tame but when the biggest one started fluffin up at me I headed to the house get my 22 time i got back they were gone...........good thing I was fixin to have me one big drumstick :wink:
good luck
 
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