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The talking parrot

Manitoba_Rancher

Well-known member
There was a burglar that was breaking into houses on this one street.
He goes into this one house late one nite and starts to unplug the tv,
when he hears "Jesus is watching you"
He feels a bit stirred and looks around but sees nothing
He starts to pull teh wires from the DVD player when he hears "Jesus is watching you" He looks around again and sees a parrot in the corner. He says did you say that? The parrot says well yes I did. The burglar says how do you know Jesus is watching me? Parrot says I know. Whats your name parrot? The parrot says Moses.... Moses says the burglar, who would name their parrot Moses.. the parrot says the same people that would name their rottwieller Jesus!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:
 

Kato

Well-known member
Another talking parrot ....

A woman was in a pet store and saw that they had a beautiful female parrot for sale, really cheap. It was such a bargain that she bought it right away and took it home. It didn't take long to find out why the bird was on sale, because she had the foulest mouth any parrot had ever had. She cursed, and made lewd remarks all day. Whenever someone would knock on the door, she'd say "Hello there big guy? Wanna have a good time?".

The woman was horrified, being a good church going citizen, and called a friend of hers from church who also owned two male parrots. "What can I do with this bird?", she asked. Her friend said to her, "Bring her to my house for a while, and she can stay with my parrots. They spend all day reading the bible and quoting scripture, so maybe they will have a good influence on her"

The woman took his advice, and brought her parrot over to his house. As soon as the parrot came into the room, she said her usual, "Hello there big guy? Wanna have a good time?".

One of the male parrots said to his friend, "Ernie, you can quite praying now, our prayers have been answered."
 

jigs

Well-known member
more parrots


a magician on a cruise ship was mad, because every trick he did, the captains parrot gave away the secret. pops out flowers and the parrot says "they were up his sleve" he pulls a rabbit out of his hat and the parrot says" he switched hats" makes a girl disappear, and the parrot says " trap door in the floor"

this goes on for months, and the magician is very upset, but can not do anything, being it was the Captains parrot.

on night the ship has an engine blowup and it rips a hole in the bottom. the ship sinks super fast, they never even got off an SOS call. everyone dies except the parrot and the magician, they are floating on an inflatable life raft. he hates the parrot with a passion and they spend 3 days floating, not saying a word, until finally the parrot says, " I give up, where the hell is the ship?"
 

Haytrucker

Well-known member
Also a foul-mouthed parrot, only this one got exiled to the deep-freeze for 30 minutes. Upon it's release, and after thawing out, it finally said "I have a question; Just what did the da#$ned turkey say?"
 

jigs

Well-known member
an old Shel Silverstien poem.

Molly had a parrot
she killed it in rage.
For every time her boyfriend came
The darn thing told her age
 
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