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The Veep: A Short Play in One Act

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Anonymous

Guest
The Veep: A Short Play in One Act
Sometimes fiction is a better vehicle for getting inside someone's mind. Besides, it's all we have. Here is a short play for two actors. Let's call them Schmidt, a tough, savvy consultant, and McCain, a candidate. All names have been changed to protect the innocent.


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Schmidt: McCain, Get your ass over here and look at this map.
McCain: It's the U.S. with the states red and blue. Seen it before. What's your point?

Schmidt: Obama's gonna win all the Kerry States. You have a small chance to pick off New Hampshire but 60% of the people think you're pro choice. When they find out you've been pro life for 25 years, forget New Hampshire.

McCain: Where does that leave me?

Schmidt: Bush won 286 to 252.

McCain: Fine with me.

Schmidt: But wait a minute. Obama campaigned like crazy in Iowa. Won the caucuses big time. You barely set foot in the state. The people of Iowa take their caucuses very, very seriously. You insulted them. Make that 279 to 259.

McCain: I still win.

Schmidt: We're not done yet. Obama has been leading in New Mexico all year. State's full of Latinos. They preferred Clinton but they're still Democrats at heart. I think we're toast there. Now its 274 to 264.

McCain: A win is a win. Still better than Florida was.

Schmidt: Yeah, but now Obama is just 5 EVs short of a tie (which means it goes to the House and he'll win there) and 6 EVs short of a clean win. Look, there are six swing states this time: Florida, Virginia, Ohio, Missouri, Colorado, and Nevada. We have to win all six of them. Can't lose a single state or we're dead meat.

McCain: I'm a fighter. You know that. The gooks couldn't break me. I'll campaign like hell in all six. Don't worry.

Schmidt: I'm worried. We're 50-50 on all six. It's like flipping a coin six times and getting six heads. One chance in 64, roughly 2%. We have to do something dramatic. Something that will throw all calculations out the window. Something that completely shakes up everything. Something that gives us a fresh start. Gotta hit the RESET button.

McCain: Have something in mind?

Schmidt: Yeah. Pick a black or a woman for Veep.

McCain: You mean I can't pick Joe? He's my friend and a great guy.

Schmidt: Half the convention would walk out. Besides, Jews aren't a novelty any more. Thank Gore for that.

McCain:. ****. But blacks are fine with me. Colin Powell is a great American and one of the most respected people in the country.

Schmidt: He doesn't want the job

McCain: No sweat. Condi's the smartest woman I know. Mind like a bear trap. She'll run rings around Biden at the debate. She'll say: "I've been there. I talk to Putin every week. You're just an old windbag"

Schmidt: She's got "BUSH III" emblazoned on her forehead. And Obama is a happily married man with two adorable little girls, Condi's a single black woman who is apparently not much into families. Won't work. What about Kay [Bailey Hutchison (R-TX)]?

McCain: She's tired of the Washington rat race. She wants to go back to Texas. Be governor or something, you know like Ma Ferguson.

Schmidt: Ma's husband, the governor, was impeached and convicted. Ann Richards would be a better role model. What other women do we have?

McCain: Jodi [Rell] and Olympia [Snowe] are smart and popular but pro choice. The Base distrusts me already. They'd mutiny.

Schmidt: Elizabeth Dole? Susan Collins?

McCain: With either of those we lose a Senate seat. I don't want to have 60 Democrats to deal with over there. Reid might grow a spine. Can't encourage that.

Schmidt: Lisa Murkowski?

McCain: Her dad appointed her. She won on her own later, but I don't need to deal with nepotism and cronyism. Smells like Bush. I'm a maverick, remember?

Schmidt: Got it. Some businesswomen? Sarah Palin?

McCain: Carly [Fiorina] is great on economics, but she nearly she ran her company into the ground so the board fired her and then gave her $40 million so she wouldn't feel bad. The 20,000 people she fired aren't too keen on her. Meg Whitman did a fantastic job at eBay but nobody's ever heard of her.

Schmidt: So Palin's the only one left? What about her?

McCain: I met her once, at a governors meeting. Cute as a button. She ran for Miss Alaska. Came in second. I woulda voted for her. But it's a real Hail Mary pass. She's popular up north there where the sun never shines (except for some minor problems when she tried to fire her state trooper brother-in-law). She was pregnant with a Down syndrome baby and didn't abort him. The Base will love that. Her hobbies are riding her motorcycle and hunting moose. The coal miners in Appalachia will go wild over her. How fast can we print a million 8x10 color photos of her for their lockers?

Schmidt: Fast. But what about her experience. I mean, she's only been governor a year and a half. What did she do before that?

McCain: I think she was mayor of some village with six igloos. Who cares? I think you're right we have to shake things up completely. Change the game. The Base will eat her up on abortion, the Hillary fans will see that we respect women (unlike their guy). We grab the mantle of reformers. The white guys will be transfixed by this hot chick who hunts moose. I get to be Maverick-in-chief. Sounds like a winner.

Schmidt: What about the debate with Biden? What if the moderator says: "What would you do if Russia invaded Georgia again?" and she says: "I'll get on Air Force One and fly to Atlanta immediately."

McCain: Most Americans can't find Georgia the state on a map, let alone Georgia the country. I'll get Lugar to tutor her on foreign policy. He knows everything about it. I'm sold. Let's go for it.


Curtain falls.

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Well, maybe that wasn't the exact dialog, but the core idea is true: they had to do something dramatic to have a chance and picking a woman was probably their best shot. And most of the candidates had some flaw or other. Palin had the fewest problems.
From the Votemaster
 

fff

Well-known member
If Palin had the fewest problems, they are in trouble. Now that she's national news, there will be more people looking into "troopergate". The Washington Post landed an interview with Walter Monegan, the Alaska Public Safety Commissioner that Palin fired. She apparently has a hard time figuring out where the "governor" ends and "sara" begins.

Link to articles:

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/washingtonpostinvestigations/2008/08/monegan_to_palin_maam_i_need_t.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/29/AR2008082903598.html?hpid=topnews
 

Sandhusker

Well-known member
fff said:
If Palin had the fewest problems, they are in trouble. Now that she's national news, there will be more people looking into "troopergate". The Washington Post landed an interview with Walter Monegan, the Alaska Public Safety Commissioner that Palin fired. She apparently has a hard time figuring out where the "governor" ends and "sara" begins.

Link to articles:

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/washingtonpostinvestigations/2008/08/monegan_to_palin_maam_i_need_t.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/29/AR2008082903598.html?hpid=topnews

AYERS, REZKO, WRIGHT
 

Steve

Well-known member
fff
She apparently has a hard time figuring out where the "governor" ends and "sara" begins.

you have two options.. defend a wife beating child tazering law breaking trooper.. or the person who used the law to stop him..

I can tell you who I will defend.. and it ain't the wife beater.. no matter what his job was...
 

VanC

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
Sometimes fiction is a better vehicle for getting inside someone's mind. Besides, it's all we have.

And this, my friends, is the essence of the Obama campaign strategy. :lol:
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Steve said:
fff
She apparently has a hard time figuring out where the "governor" ends and "sara" begins.

you have two options.. defend a wife beating child tazering law breaking trooper.. or the person who used the law to stop him..

I can tell you who I will defend.. and it ain't the wife beater.. no matter what his job was...

Somehow- I haven't been able to find anywhere where it reports he was convicted of a crime- or even charged...Must be a pretty liberal and loose state the lady runs to allow all that kind of wifebeating and child abuse to be occurring without any prosecutions or convictions :???: :wink: :lol: :lol: :p
 

Larrry

Well-known member
Of course why does it not surprise me that Obot OT defends rogue cops who threaten to kill people and accepts child abuse. What a standard you set OBOT
 

Steve

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
Steve said:
fff
She apparently has a hard time figuring out where the "governor" ends and "sara" begins.

you have two options.. defend a wife beating child tazering law breaking trooper.. or the person who used the law to stop him..

I can tell you who I will defend.. and it ain't the wife beater.. no matter what his job was...

Somehow- I haven't been able to find anywhere where it reports he was convicted of a crime- or even charged...Must be a pretty liberal and loose state the lady runs to allow all that kind of wifebeating and child abuse to be occurring without any prosecutions or convictions :???: :wink: :lol: :lol: :p

funny it took me all of 3 0r 4 seconds to find this.. actually it's not funny at all.. might want to re-think your LOLs, it really shows a deeper problem when you find humor in a state trooper tasering a child...


Alaska State Trooper Wooten was suspended for ten days after being accused by his ex-wife Molly McCann (Sarah Palin's sister) of threatening to kill McCann's and Palin's father, tasering his 11-year-old stepson, drinking beer in his squad car, and shooting a moose without a license. Following an investigation, Wooten was suspended for illegally shooting a moose and using a Taser on his stepson,

if this guy is guilty enough to get suspended for tasering a child,, then he should have been charged.. and if he wasn't charged the person who failed to act should have been fired... thus Palin did what should have been done by the past governor..

it seems the only ones defending him are you, the guy who was fired and the unions..
 

Cal

Well-known member
Gee whiz Steve, thanks for helping OT out when he just couldn't find that. Those libs will try to turn anything into a scandal....out of desperation.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Being suspended by an agency is not the same as being charged and convicted of a criminal act...It will not even show on a criminal record...

This doesn't say if it was with or without pay....Suspending with pay is common practice after an allegation is made- but before it can be investigated-- or is automatic on most departments after any shooting situation until it can be investigated and cleared...

Most the guys used to think of it as another paid vacation... :wink:
 

loomixguy

Well-known member
"Paid vacation"? Looks like Glendive, Montana is the place to really sink one's teeth onto that government tit. Reminds me of Hazzard County, where the law takes orders from the JP/county commissioner. Are you sure you're not Boss Hogg, Old Komrade, or are you still sour that Wilford Brimley got the job endorsing Liberty Medical instead of you? Wilford made a career out of playing opinionated, sour old codgers.

Next thing you know there will be a shaker bar in Glendive called "Bada Bing"!
 

Steve

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
Being suspended by an agency is not the same as being charged and convicted of a criminal act...It will not even show on a criminal record...

This doesn't say if it was with or without pay....Suspending with pay is common practice after an allegation is made- but before it can be investigated-- or is automatic on most departments after any shooting situation until it can be investigated and cleared...

Most the guys used to think of it as another paid vacation... :wink:

I don't think you get it... the guy that failed to act or do anything about the bad trooper was fired because he consantly failed to act...

now some misguided are saying it is wrong to fire that commisioner who didn't do his job.. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Steve said:
Oldtimer said:
Being suspended by an agency is not the same as being charged and convicted of a criminal act...It will not even show on a criminal record...

This doesn't say if it was with or without pay....Suspending with pay is common practice after an allegation is made- but before it can be investigated-- or is automatic on most departments after any shooting situation until it can be investigated and cleared...

Most the guys used to think of it as another paid vacation... :wink:

I don't think you get it... the guy that failed to act or do anything about the bad trooper was fired because he consantly failed to act...

now some misguided are saying it is wrong to fire that commisioner who didn't do his job.. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

And the guy Miz Patootie replaced him with only lasted 2 weeks in a mess of charges of sexual harassment :roll: Some ability to pick leaders :wink:

Steve the guy fired (the Public Safety Commissioner) is not the person that brings criminal charges-or even in a position to do that...He is the administrator of the Dept. It would be up to the prosecuter and the court to file criminal charges...

A lot of nasty divorces end up with 2 sides to a story--and she's already admitted that members of her department violated the law by using their political influence for her personal gain- altho the involvement of Rush's "Babe" is disputed...

But apparently its serious enough that the Republican controlled Alaskan Congress thought it necessary to allocate $100,000 for expenses and hire an investigator to look into it.....
 

Larrry

Well-known member
"The record clearly indicates a serious and concentrated pattern of unacceptable, and at times, illegal activity occurring over a lengthy period, which establishes a course of conduct totally at odds with the ethics of our profession,” Col. Julia Grimes, then head of Alaska State Troopers, wrote in March 1, 2006, letter
 

Larrry

Well-known member
“When made aware of the security concerns regarding a state trooper, I instructed the First Gentleman to contact the commissioner of Public Safety. It is standard protocol to ask every governor about any threats they perceive or have realized. “I will not hesitate to set the record straight in answering these false allegations by former Commissioner Monegan.” Special Agent Bob Cockrell


Frank Bailey, the boards and commissions director, told The Associated Press he acted on his own — and not on behalf of Palin or her husband, Todd — when he called Ketchikan-based Lt. Rodney Dial, pushing for the firing of Trooper Mike Wooten.

“There was never any direction by the governor, never any direction by Todd to make the call or to make any call to DPS on this stuff,” Bailey said.
 

Larrry

Well-known member
http://media.adn.com/smedia/2008/07/21/16/Wooten_suspend_letter.source.prod_affiliate.7.pdf

Take note of WHO wrote this letter, the date and WHO was the Gov at the time
 

Steve

Well-known member
Steve the guy fired (the Public Safety Commissioner) is not the person that brings criminal charges-or even in a position to do that...He is the administrator of the Dept.

it seems by what I read

On March 1, 2006, Wooten was suspended by Grimes for ten days, based on the internal investigation. Grimes announced that "[t]he record clearly indicates a serious and concentrated pattern of unacceptable and at times, illegal activity occurring over a lengthy period, which establishes a course of conduct totally at odds with the ethics of our profession" After a union protest, the suspension was reduced to five days, and Wooten was warned by Col. Julia Grimes, head of the Alaska State Troopers, that he would be fired if he messed up again.

that those who tried to do their job was stopped by the guy who was fired..

Monegan said on July 18 that his dismissal might have been related to his reluctance to fire Wooten.

I would have done the same thing if I was in the position of authority as Palin did.. the trooper should have been fired.. his supervisors pushed for the dismissal.. Monegen stopped the investigation and "closed the case"..

I don't mind defending a lady who is not only looking out for her family but trying to get a few bad troopers off the force...

How you can defend a wife beating child tasoring trooper who abused his position and drank on duty is beyond me..

may be you could cut and paste an article on how many wife beaters are actually charged with the crimes they commit..

A person who is being abused may endure the abuse for a long time before seeking support. Some victims never tell anyone about the abuse. A person who is being abused may be reluctant - or unable - to talk about or report abuse for many different reasons. For example, they may be emotionally attached to the abusive partner or have strong beliefs about keeping their relationship or family together. They may fear that the abuser will retaliate (against them or their loved ones) or they may fear being stigmatized by others. They may be economically dependent on the abusive partner. They may live in an isolated area, or be socially isolated from others. They may face communications, language or cultural barriers. They may feel ashamed or powerless and lack access to information, resources and support.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
So explain why he wasn't criminally charged :???:

I've been involved in working with enough divorce proceeding/child custody battles that I know they many times turn into a he said- she said where neither parties are the angels they portray themselves...And this one seems to have drug in a political official who may have/or her employees may have used their authority illegally to influence an investigation....

It appears to me that if there had been enough evidence to warrant criminal charges- those involved could have went to a prosecuter and a Judge and signed formal criminal charges....

Explain why the Alaskan Congress (solidly Republican- same as the Gov) thought there was enough evidence of wrongdoing by the Gov and her administration to warrant budgeting $100,000 and appointing a special investigator :???:

If any mistake was made by the fired Public Service Commissioner- and the State Police Chief- it looks to me like it was not calling in an independent investigator from an out of state agency- rather than handling it themselves when they saw this involved the Governor personally...

Ironically Alaska is the only state with stronger personnel and privacy rights than Montana-- and I believe there is a lot that is not known yet- and may never be if no one is charged....
 
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