• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

These are funny, especially the last one!!!

Help Support Ranchers.net:

Angus Cattle Shower

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 25, 2005
Messages
2,631
Reaction score
2
Location
CANADA!!!
LAWYER JOKES

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court", and are things
people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
by court reporters...who had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
__________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.



Have a good one!!! 8)
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
16,260
Reaction score
47
Location
northern Nebraska Sandhills
In the local cafe this evening, a couple was there who do taxidermy work. We were asking about the amount of deer that came in for them to mount, with rifle deer season just finished as of last Sunday night. Dave was telling about a real big whitetail buck that a twelve-year-old boy had shot, with a score near 180. I asked, "Where did he shoot it?" Dave replied, "Right in the side of the head." :wink: That wasn't exactly the answer that I had hoped to get. :)
 

Latest posts

Top