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Three Bulls

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Well-known member
Feb 15, 2005
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Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher

was going to bring another bull onto the
ranch, and
the prospect raised a discussion among them.

The first bull says, "Boys, we all know I've
been here
5 years. Once we settled our differences, we
agreed on
which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I
don't know
where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows,
but I
ain't' givin' him any of mine."

The second bull says, "That pretty much says
it for
me, too. I've been here 3 years and have
earned my
right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine.
I'll fight
'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M

The third bull says, "I've only been here a
year, and
so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows
to "take
care of". I may not be as big as you fellows
yet, but
I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep
all MY

They had just finished their big talk when an

eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of
the pasture
with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest

Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen!
At 4700
pounds, each step he took toward the ground
the steel ramp to the breaking point.

The first bull says, "Ahem...You know, it's
been some time since I really felt I was
doing all my
cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a
few for
our new friend."

The second bull says, "I'll have plenty of
cows to
take care of if I just stay on the opposite
end of the
pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking
for an

They look over at their young friend, the
third bull,
and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his
horns, and
snorting up a storm.

The first bull says, "Son, let me give you
some advice
real quick. Let him have some of your cows
and live to
tell about it."

The third bull says, "Heck, he can have ALL
my cows.
I'm just making sure he knows I'M a bull!" vv

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A
teenager walked up to the bench and sat down. He had
spiked hair in all different colors:
green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man
was staring at him.

The teenager finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter,
old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had
sex with a peacock. . . . I was just wondering if you were my son."

Attitude is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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