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Two Trees

VB RANCH

Well-known member
Two Trees and a Woodpecker

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that tree a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.


Now wipe that smile off your face. And pass it on...
 

OldDog/NewTricks

Well-known member
THE WORLD’S GREATEST
COLLECTION OF
Clean Jokes

Family Frolic

Little Billy was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Billy had already strained the tea.
“Did you find the tea strainer?” his mother asked.
“No, mother, I couldn’t, so I used the fly swatter,” replied Billy.
His mother nearly fainted, so Billy hastily added, “Don’t get excited, Mother. I used an old one.”

* * *

Mother: Were you a good boy in school today?
Son: How much trouble can you get into standing in a corner all day.

It's All In The Family

A Letter from a college student said, “Please send food packages! All they serve here is breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

(Top Ten) Reasons Eve Was Created "A woman's point of view!!!"
10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

Woman 1

A woman who, on a perennial diet, starved her husband right along with herself, till he complained to his pastor that he couldn't get his wife to serve him a decent meal and he was growing positively malnourished.

"I can't get her to listen to reason. Maybe you can get somewhere with her," the hubby complained.

So the pastor counseled the ever dieting woman, who at last saw the error of her ways. "What shall I do to make amends?" she asked her spiritual counselor.

He told her, "Just repent and thin no more."

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Women On Women

6) Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends
 

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