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Veterinary advice

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Soapweed

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This story was told about one of the local veterinarians. It seems he had just retired for the night when the telephone rang. He answered the call, and a frantic lady said, "Doctor, my two dogs are stuck together, and I don't know how to get them apart."

He advised, "Get a five gallon bucket of water and dump it on them. That should solve the problem."

A few minutes later, the phone rang again, and he once more answered the call. The same lady was on the other end, and her voice was even more frantic as she wailed, "Doctor, it's not working. What can I do?"

The veterinarian said, "Well, grab on to both of them and drag them over by the telephone. Hang up, and I'll call you back. When the phone rings, it will solve the problem."

She asked, "Are you sure that will work?"

He growled, "It should, it's worked for me twice already tonight." :shock: :) :) :D
 

Soapweed

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Saddletramp told me another funny story about the same veterinarian just today. It seems the vet was doing a "house call" Caesarean on a Hereford heifer for a hands-on fussy lady rancher. She was hovering over the good doctor, giving un-solicited advice and holding a flashlight so he could see what he was doing. As he was sewing up the heifer, he decided to make the cut on her left side a bit lower to ensure proper drainage. He was sewing along, and abruptly used the scalpel to cut another four inches of the heifer's hide. The lady's false teeth about fell out as she wondered aloud about the absurdity of such a move. The vet was chomping on his ever-present cigar, and explained, "I had too much suture thread cut and hated to waste any." :)
 

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