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Saddletramp

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Now that Jinglebob has made it back to the real world, I thought this would be a good time to post this.

If you all remember Jinglebob posted a poem about me sometime back and I believe he might have unveiled it at the Deadwood Gathering.

Well, here's my retort........THR BALLAD OF PARIS HILTON

Jinglebob and I done a show in Thedford town
Singin' and recitin', we really knocked them down.

Folks gathered from all over, town squares and church steeples.
mostly because by nature, we're a handsome people.

Coming home we was feeling forked, we's about to burst.
We hit Heart City and took a turn just to quench our thirst.

I saw some friends, went in this joint and soon had glasses tiltin'.
A young lady sat down and Jingle said,"WOW, You're Paris Hilton."

She turned red and said," No, I'm not." acting a little embarassed'
Jinglebob said," Yep, I'm sure you are. You look just like Paris."

" Well, I'm not." she said and gave a glare a-chillin'.
Jinglebob said,"Saddletramp, can you believe we found Paris Hilton?"

My friend leaned over and said" She's taking this real well.
She must have forgot her gun at home, it's kinda hard to tell."

Jinglebob said," Paris, I didn't think your nose was that big."
" Boy, you sure got pretty hair. Say is that a wig?"

Well she jumped up, kicked back her chair and started pawin' up the floor.
I tell ya folks, I'd seen this look in fightin' cows before.

I jumped between them and pleaded," Mamm, please spare our lives."
"Don't kill that buckaroo, he's got a child and three wives."

Then Jingle said," Is it true parts of you are made of putty?"
" I don't care what 'Enquire' says, you don't look that slutty."

She went to slinging snot and snappin' her ears and really throwin' dirt.
I thought,"Oh man Jinglebob, this is going to hurt."

Two big bouncers jumped in to stop her cause she really pitched a fit.
One said," We can't hold her long, you Cowboys better git."

Now, I've been in a bar scrap or two and could usually hold my own.
But I didn't want no part of Paris, she was fixin' to break some bones'

Ol' Jingle wouldn't give it up, I guess he couldn't see.
He said," Paris if you would buy, you could have a drink with me."

She wiped both them bouncers and then made her attack.
I gave Jinglebob a push and headed for the back.

We was almost safe when Bob said," That Paris is quite a girl."
She picked up a bar stool and gave it a whirl.

It went over our heads as we made a dive.
I figured we was lucky to make the truck alive.

So folks if you ever sit down with Jinglebob and Me,
It'd be best if you didn't resemble some celebrity.

But if you do, don't let your courage go to wiltin'.
Saddletramp just hopes you don't look like 'Paris Hilton."
 

nr

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A good one, Saddletramp. Could almost hear your voice saying it,too.

Just curious about your term "feeling forked" which you used at Deadwood also. We've never heard that before and wondered what exactly that means and its origins.
 

nr

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the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
I"m perdy sure it means....spendin the whole day astride a horse....n yer legs are....stiff...feelin forked..... correct me if I"m wrong someone.
No wonder we couldn't figure out the meaning!
 

Saddletramp

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Actually, it's a term that means you're feeling ambitious or sure enough up for the task. Feeling pretty sure of yourself....... He was feeling pretty forked today so he thought he'd put a ride on that bronc.

By the way nr, you say the nicest things. Thank You.
 

nr

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For those who haven't heard Saddletramp in person,
he pronounces the word "forked" with TWO syllables: fork-ed
which sounds not unlike Elizabethan English :!:

I really wish we could put a sound track up on the Ranchersnet.
Shouldn't there be some way considering we can click onto the Music on Ranchersnet Homepage??? Where are you techno-nerds hanging out?
 

Jinglebob

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Yup, calling them techno nerds is bound to get them all to show up! :lol:

By the way nr, tell Craig I got the books and am enjoying them! Thanks a bunch! :)
 

ranchwife

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:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
thank the dear lord that i do NOT resemble anyone famous!!!!!
that one was priceless!!!
 

Jinglebob

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BMR
Yup, I thought she looked a lot like Paris Hilton, but Saddle Tramp was sure she was Paris Motel 6! He just can't see as well as I can! :wink:

She was really starting to warm up to me and we could have had a lot of fun with her if ol' Saddle Tramp wasn't such a momm'a boy and afraid of his wife. And I ain't never seen his wonderful wife, even raise her voice to him. Maybe her hand, but never her voice!

Tho' her and my wife think that me and Saddle Tramp shouldn't get to play together very much! They are such party poopers!:lol:
 

Jinglebob

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I don't think mine ever had one! :lol:

Sure wish I was married to a nice, easy going, hard to get riled woman like your wife! :lol:

Go ahead and give him a good whack up side the head Tam. You know he's done something to deserve it! :lol:
 

Big Muddy rancher

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I hope she keeps fighting with the boys over on Bull session until this drops off the page or i will "Get a whippin" as Haymaker says. :cowboy:
 

Jinglebob

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PM me your phone number and I'll give her a call and make sure she see's this! And then you'll get your whuppin'!
:lol:

And I'm sure you've done something to deserve it! After all, you are a man and we are always doing something wrong. Just ask our wives! :lol:
 

Saddletramp

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Momma's boy?????? Huh! I'll have you know that the last time me and the Little Woman had a spat, she got down on her knees and said....
>
>
>
Come out from under that bed and fight like a man!!!!! :mad: :mad:
 

HAY MAKER

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Saddletramp said:
Momma's boy?????? Huh! I'll have you know that the last time me and the Little Woman had a spat, she got down on her knees and said....
>
>
>
Come out from under that bed and fight like a man!!!!! :mad: :mad:

That's funny Saddletramp,yup welcome back jinglebob...........good luck
 

Tam

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Jinglebob said:
PM me your phone number and I'll give her a call and make sure she see's this! And then you'll get your whuppin'!
:lol:

And I'm sure you've done something to deserve it! After all, you are a man and we are always doing something wrong. Just ask our wives! :lol:

Well don't bother Jinglebob I read it and BMR will be back as soon as the swelling goes down enough to see the keyboard again. :wink: :nod: :lol2: :lol2:
 

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