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What's your Opinion?

CattleRMe

Well-known member
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans
OCALA, Fla. — Charges against a Tampa teacher who had sex with a 14-year-old middle-school student have been dropped in one of the two counties where the incidents occurred.

Debra Lafave, 25, was charged in Marion County with lewd and lascivious battery on a child and lewd and lascivious exhibition for having sex with the now 16-year-old boy in a sport utility vehicle.

As part of a plea deal, she is already serving seven years probation and three years house arrest for similar offenses in Hillsborough County for having sex with him in a classroom and her house.

But the state attorney's office in Marion County dropped the charges there on Tuesday after a judge rejected a similar plea deal that would have allowed Lafave to again avoid going to trial — and to prison. Because the boy's family doesn't want him to testify, the prosecution didn't have enough evidence to present its case.

"I believe my mental illness had a lot to do with my actions," Lafave said in a news conference Tuesday with defense attorney John Fitzgibbons, referring to bipolar disorder. "I offer my deepest apology. I am very remorseful. I want the world to see that bipolar is real."


I was watching Good Morning America when this story came on. I missed some of it but part of it I picked up is a Professor from Kansas has researched the difference in how females and males that assault minors are handled. Males I think are given an average of 15 years in prision while females are given an average of 3. Or in this case none. That seems very unfair to me. Seems the the crime is the same and they should get the same punishment.


Here's another person claiming mental illness............should she have got to use it?
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
CattleRMe said:
I was watching Good Morning America when this story came on. I missed some of it but part of it I picked up is a Professor from Kansas has researched the difference in how females and males that assault minors are handled. Males I think are given an average of 15 years in prision while females are given an average of 3. Or in this case none. That seems very unfair to me. Seems the the crime is the same and they should get the same punishment.


Here's another person claiming mental illness............should she have got to use it?

In our misguided society, a fourteen-year-old boy who gets seduced by a pretty lady teacher would be considered "lucky", whereas a fourteen-year-old girl who has sex with a male teacher under the same circumstances would be a victim who got used. By the same token, a promiscuous man is considered a "stud" and a promiscuous women is nothing more than a slut. This mind-set is not right, but that is the way it is. Sometimes there is no justice.

As for the "mental illness" excuse, it is an alibi dreamed up by lawyers which really means nothing. If the crime is committed, no excuse should be considered valid to exonerate the perpetrator of the crime.
 

jigs

Well-known member
Soap, I really wish there were 250 guys just like you......all judges and this country would be turning the corner back to where it ought to be!


the stud / slut double standard is one I have wrestled with for many years. in high school we would all sit around and talk the big talk, who was hot, who was easy, what we wanted to do.....well, I look back now 15 years later and notice the easy gals are all divorced 3 times over and the guys who used them have a bunch of out of wedlock kids. Not to judge, because everyone has to lead thier own life, but the guys at the reunion sat around laughing about how they were still whores, and would not recognize the problems they themselves had created.

so it is obviously something that a person never outgrows.
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
STDs are about the only real form of justice.

Saddletramp tells about a couple wild cowboys that had a hot time in the old town one night. The next day they were out in the horse barn giving each other penicillin shots, and trying to figure out how to best handle their wives.

Here is another similar incident that an old horse trader was telling about. This guy had been out playing around, and was afraid he'd caught something. His wife was needing a new refrigerator, so inspiration hit him. He told her, "I'll bet you a new refrigerator I can go without sex longer than you can." :wink: She got her refrigerator.

Oh, the tangled web we weave. :???: :? :wink: :)
 

nonothing

Well-known member
What this ruling does i think opens the door now for men to walk away from similar crimes.....how could they not ?would the judge say "well ya but the fourteen yearold was a boy".......................................................................................next piont ........why does sex have to be dirty?
Sex if respected can be a fun and a very enjoying activity....not a trip down the sexaul transmitted desease high way.....People often mistake sex with love ....they are two different things.....uneducated sex is what causes most negative sexaul misshaps....One must protect them selves with insurance for many of lifes ways...........why should sex be anydifferent...I think people must admit that a orgasm feels good,and to want to feel good is human nature.....When you find the one you love others dont even cross your mind .....why does sex between two single concenting adults matter?Soapweeds stories are not of single people but married people who are cheating,so blaming sex is not what should be takin to task here but rather why is he cheating.....And knowledge not only protects but iluminates expereinces and opens new doors.Is a slut a bad thing?..I guess in the closed minded world some would say it is...For this writer i find that healthy experiences in any of lifes puzzles not only increase your own enjoyment but also enables you cherish that special bond of love when it arrives......
 

Red Robin

Well-known member
nonothing said:
What this ruling does i think opens the door now for men to walk away from similar crimes.....how could they not ?would the judge say "well ya but the fourteen yearold was a boy".......................................................................................next piont ........why does sex have to be dirty?
Sex if respected can be a fun and a very enjoying activity....not a trip down the sexaul transmitted desease high way.....People often mistake sex with love ....they are two different things.....uneducated sex is what causes most negative sexaul misshaps....One must protect them selves with insurance for many of lifes ways...........why should sex be anydifferent...I think people must admit that a orgasm feels good,and to want to feel good is human nature.....When you find the one you love others dont even cross your mind .....why does sex between two single concenting adults matter?Soapweeds stories are not of single people but married people who are cheating,so blaming sex is not what should be takin to task here but rather why is he cheating.....And knowledge not only protects but iluminates expereinces and opens new doors.Is a slut a bad thing?..I guess in the closed minded world some would say it is...For this writer i find that healthy experiences in any of lifes puzzles not only increase your own enjoyment but also enables you cherish that special bond of love when it arrives......
Cleverly written but the greek word for that is ...hogwash.
 

ranchwife

Well-known member
thank you for bringing up this "touchy" (no pun intended) subject!! For wayyyyy to long, there have been double standards regarding sexual issues and this is one that gets under my skin!! How right you all are....too often the girl is looked down upon and the boy is thought of as the "school jock"....now we are seeing the same thing with STATUTORY RAPE!! It should not matter whether the perpetrator is male or female and whether the victim is male or female....these crimes MUST be prosecuted fairly!!! As for her using the "bipolar excuse", I have taken care of many folks who did suffer from REAL bipolar and while their lives are a mess and often end up reflected in the lives of their families, there IS TREATMENT AND MEDICATIONS to keep the symptoms under control!! Considering this is not her first offense, history points that it will not be her last, either!! She absolutely should not have been let off so easily!!! :mad:
 

CattleRMe

Well-known member
nonothing said:
Sex if respected can be a fun and a very enjoying activity....not a trip down the sexaul transmitted desease high way.....People often mistake sex with love ....they are two different things.....uneducated sex is what causes most negative sexaul misshaps....One must protect them selves with insurance for many of lifes ways...........why should sex be anydifferent......When you find the one you love others dont even cross your mind .....why does sex between two single concenting adults matter?.Is a slut a bad thing?..I guess in the closed minded world some would say it is...For this writer i find that healthy experiences in any of lifes puzzles not only increase your own enjoyment but also enables you cherish that special bond of love when it arrives......

In my opinion sex falls under a moral issue. I'm not sure who in fact made the morality rules but I do know over my life span I've heard talk several times of those that partake in numerous sexual partners are lacking morals. I guess the main reason I think a slut is a bad thing is because of what my folks instilled in me. For in fact it shouldn't matter to me what consenting adults do in their free time.

I do feel stongly as you do that there is a difference between love and sex. Sometimes though sex can easily be confused as love by one of the parties involved.
 

CattleRMe

Well-known member
Former Teacher to Be Sentenced for Affair with Student
(03.24.06- AP) — A former teacher at Ponderosa High School in Parker is scheduled to learn her sentence today for having an affair with a teenage student.

Thirty-five-year-old Nicole Barnhart pleaded guilty in January to felony charges of sexual assault on a child, and criminal attempt to commit sexual assault on a child.

The married mother of two children acknowledged carrying on a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy.

Douglas County deputies arrested Barnhart a-year ago Thursday. She resigned (from) her post a short time later.

Friends of the teen say he had a crush on his teacher. A plea agreement calls for Barnhart to spend two years in prison, and 10 years in a sexual offender probation program.
 

Jinglebob

Well-known member
Sluts, whether they are male or female,have no respect for themselves or anyone else.

Of course sex feels good. If it didn't the human race would have died out long ago.

But sex without love, is somebody using somebody else. As a wise feller told me a long time ago. "It doesn't feel good to use somebody and it doesn't feel good to be used." He's a pretty sharp ol' boy and he posts on here on occasion.

That pretty much covers it, for me.

Self disipline would help lots of people, on this matter. "Lookin' for love in all the wrong places". Love and lust are totally different things. I'll take love over lust, it last longer. :)
 

CattleRMe

Well-known member
Jinglebob said:
Sluts, whether they are male or female,have no respect for themselves or anyone else.

Of course sex feels good. If it didn't the human race would have died out long ago.

But sex without love, is somebody using somebody else. As a wise feller told me a long time ago. "It doesn't feel good to use somebody and it doesn't feel good to be used." He's a pretty sharp ol' boy and he posts on here on occasion.

That pretty much covers it, for me.

Self disipline would help lots of people, on this matter. "Lookin' for love in all the wrong places". Love and lust are totally different things. I'll take love over lust, it last longer. :)


Sex without love when both parties involved know it's not about love isn't necessarily somebody using somebody else. I have friends that live in very large cities that tell me the thing about there is you are just another person not like here in rural areas where there is a name to that person. So in the city a person can be doing whatever with whomever and nobody really knows or even cares if they do.

I do think love is better then lust too. Just not sure who decided that lust and what responsible adults do is deemed bad.
 

Jinglebob

Well-known member
Sex without love when both parties involved know it's not about love isn't necessarily somebody using somebody else. I have friends that live in very large cities that tell me the thing about there is you are just another person not like here in rural areas where there is a name to that person. So in the city a person can be doing whatever with whomever and nobody really knows or even cares if they do.

I do think love is better then lust too. Just not sure who decided that lust and what responsible adults do is deemed bad.[/quote]

Ahh, the city, where all the good, caring, wondeful people live. Man, why can't we all just move there and have a good life? :???:

As for love and lust and where it was determined, go read the bible. I think you can have lust for someone you love, but i'd have to get a dictioary and look it up, to be sure.

I don't think you truely love yourself or anyone else, if you readily agree to having many sexual partners.

Only difference between a prostitute and a slut, if that at least the prostitue is making some money.
 

CattleRMe

Well-known member
I was just trying to point out I had never looked at it from a city person's view before. Rural we all are people with names and know of each other in the city many are only faces in a crowd so that what they are doing nobody knows and nobody cares.

I believe strongly that sex should include love. Don't at all mistake me as saying I think it's ok just to jump who's ever and as many bones as a person wants. I think it is a private matter that when including love is a special act.

I do however also belive these adults having sex with minors all deserve the same punishment whether male or female. Having sex with a minor is wrong. It is even more wrong to me when it is teachers that are doing it. We send our children to school to learn in what we view as a safe environment and then things happen like the two stories I posted. To me these teachers and others that should be trusted authority figures should get a harsher penelty then others for the fact we trust them with our children.
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
CattleRMe said:
Sex without love when both parties involved know it's not about love isn't necessarily somebody using somebody else. I have friends that live in very large cities that tell me the thing about there is you are just another person not like here in rural areas where there is a name to that person. So in the city a person can be doing whatever with whomever and nobody really knows or even cares if they do.

As far as "cop-outs" go, this one is about as pathetic as they come. So what if a person lives in a city or lives in the country, they should still be proud of their "name" and live accordingly. Talk about double standards, we country folk are to be pitied because we're hicks and don't have no fetchin' up, but we're expected to have morals. The city people, with all their culture and high society, think that the laws of the land do not apply to them, and they can just fall in and out of bed whenever the notion strikes. This theory does not hold water with me, sorry. :shock: :?

CattleRMe said:
I do think love is better then lust too. Just not sure who decided that lust and what responsible adults do is deemed bad.

Just read your Bible, CattleRMe. It is in there in black-and-white. God is the Big Boss, and He has made that decision. We, as mere mortals, have the ability to follow His ways, or we can follow Satan's ways.
 

jigs

Well-known member
the part that really bothers me, is not the moral issue, the right or wrong of the act, because those are pretty much cut and dried in my eyes.
but rather the fact that we send our kids to school for an education, and you have to put your trust in the system and the people in the system. this lady is nothing more than a vulture in the tree waiting for the perfect meal to fall right where she wants it.


so many parents send kids off to school as if nothingever happens there.....you have to be constantly talking with your kids about thier day, no matter how busy you are, or how bad your day was, you MUST talk with your kids.

sure the teacher was wrong, and the kid should have know better, but if the parents were involved with that child, I think this would have been nipped in the bud.


too often we want to blame society, when the finger pointing ought to start at home.
 
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