Wisdom from Larry the Cable Guy
> >
> > 1. A day without sunshine is like night.
> >
> > 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
> >
> > 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
> >
> > 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
> >
> > 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
> >
> > 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
> >
> > 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
> >
> > 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
> >
> > 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
> >
> > 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
> >
> > 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
> >
> > 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
> >
> > 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
> >
> > 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
> >
> > 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
> >
> > 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
> >
> > 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
> >
> > 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
> >
> > 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
> >
> > 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
> >
> > 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
> >
> > 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
> >
> > 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
> >
> > 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
> >
> > 1. A day without sunshine is like night.
> >
> > 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
> >
> > 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
> >
> > 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
> >
> > 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
> >
> > 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
> >
> > 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
> >
> > 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
> >
> > 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
> >
> > 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
> >
> > 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
> >
> > 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
> >
> > 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
> >
> > 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
> >
> > 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
> >
> > 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
> >
> > 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
> >
> > 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
> >
> > 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
> >
> > 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
> >
> > 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
> >
> > 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
> >
> > 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
> >
> > 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.