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Ranchers.net

Wishin'

I'm an eastern boy with western dreams
but somehow in spite of all my schemes
I flog this Ontario farm.

I stumbled on this ranching site
and read the threads with great delight
And learned of tie or dally.

My little herd would soon get lost
if on those western plains were tossed
and scattered over those hills.

But they don't go far for feed and forage
one half mile at most from storage
and seldom out of sight.

A roundup is just a few minutes work
the quad starts up and their ears all perk
for they know it's time to move.

The art of roping to me is greek
mostly unneeded so to speak
you don't need to rope baby bovines.

Unless you're slack and miss a few
bags and tags right when they're new.
And slack is what I was.

So what to do with month old calves
with no corral and not by halves
do the little doggies run.

They sleep too light and I'm too slow
to grab them when their eyelids show
and ropin's not my trade.

Well I drove to town to peruse a rope
a thirty? a fifty foot? I grab and grope
and settle on the shorter one.

But then there's nylon or leather
they're awful thin and light as a feather
one slide and it'll burn my hands.

Those ropin' gloves should do the trick
but man they don't seem very thick
so I leave them there.

This rope seems stiff, don't have much flex
and how do I get it over their necks
when I can't even hold it open in a loop.

I'm an eastern boy with western dreams
but somehow in spite of all my schemes
I can't rope on this Ontario farm.

But I head on back to catch a calf
my family tries hard not to laugh
as I coil my nylon line.

Some ride a bay and others a dun
but my ride ain't near as much fun
it's called a Honda.

It has no horn, electric or saddle
the muffler's shot it makes a rattle
there's no sneakin' up on 'em.

So I park my ride and by the water trough
stands a momma cow and sure enough
her untagged baby boy beside her.

He's a strappin' chunk as hard as nails
the kind of calf where nothin' ails
and I really have to wonder

if a man my age should even try
to rope this muscular month old guy
and would a catch be "lucky?

But the momma moves and he's in the clear
so I shoot the rope out over his ear
and the battle's on.

My "lucky" shot has nailed him fair
he don't just run, he takes to air
I believe I've caught a demon.

The BELLAR! The BAWL. The TWIST. The BUCK.
Surviving this will be pure luck
as I work him toward my ride.

His wind cuts off and he drops like a rock
I'm too darn scared and into shock
what if I kill the bugger?

Nowhere to dally so I have to tie
grab a piggin' string and before he die
he's hobbled and slacken the rope.

He catches wind and works them hobbles
the four wheeler holds but surely bobbles
and he never stops that bawl.

Well the mommas know that bawl means trouble
they all come chargin' in on the double
and add their moos to chorus.

But the ears get pierced and the ring fits tight
and the angry calf with a bit less fight
leaves shackles and rope behind.

One down and only bout ten to go
should I dive right in or take it slow
well I'm lucky so why wait.

I'm an eastern boy with western dreams
but somehow in spite of all my schemes
I ride a Honda not a horse.

So I coil my rope and set up to throw left
with right hand on throttle I'm not too deft
if a calf comes in my range.

Naturally the first one comes up on the right
I toss with my left and what a stupid plight
as I rope my right front tire.

Cuz my coils are pinned tween knee and tank
I never thought to leave some lank
how do I hold the extra?

Now Soap's a gennelman but I think he'd smile
and BMr, per, they'd laugh a while
and ot would need another whiskey.

Well a lot of tries and I rope another
two down then three, can I catch his brother
I'd never make a cowboy.

Because the calf I'd picked was behind a thistle
so when I threw the loop and let it whistle
I roped the spiny prickle.

Just call me Cactus Jack.

But I pick one more and make my try
set a wide loop and let'er fly
toward the calf and momma.

Mighta bin the hand of God or beginners luck
that the loop stayed empty and never struck
cuz I almost roped the momma.

I coiled it back and wiped my brow
If I'da caught her I be learnin' now
Why you don't tie off, just dally.

That's enough for today.

I'm an eastern boy with western dreams
but somehow in spite of all my schemes
I flog this Ontario farm.
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