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You Know You Are Redneck When....

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HAY MAKER

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You Know You Are Redneck When....


You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

Your junior prom offered day care.

You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens

Your neighbor has asked to borrow a quart of beer.

There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.

Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.

You've slow danced in the Waffle House.

Starting your car involves popping the hood.

You whistle at women in church.

You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.

You've been in a fistfight at a yard sale.

You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the backseat.

PS getting in the halloween mood
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Denny

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When you spent more money on your horse trailer than your house trailer.

When you holler ho down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
 

Mudhen

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I don’t know if this counts or not but I have been told I am a Graduate of Redneck U. I have a doctors degree in Baling wire and Duct tape and a masters in JB weld and zip ties. :wink:
 

Mudhen

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Big Muddy rancher said:
Hey Mudhen I have a PHD. It's attached to the front end loader and dig holes. :wink:

that funny I just seen the quote at the bottom about Old Haymaker. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Mudhen

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zephyrus31 said:
But what is a redneck?? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh :shock: :shock:

http://www.redneckworld.com/ this may help! The truth is you got to be around a redneck to know anything about a redneck.
 

hometowngurl

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:lol: my pHd is baling wire and a mixture of Elmer's glue and bubble gum works great on the muffler when it falls off and no need to wait until the thing cools off. Apply the gluey gum and then baling wire, let the cooling muffler hard the fixture of the mixture. :p :p :lol: :wink: that's the way a sandhills redneck does things. :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

zephyrus31

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Mudhen said:
zephyrus31 said:
But what is a redneck?? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh :shock: :shock:

http://www.redneckworld.com/ this may help! The truth is you got to be around a redneck to know anything about a redneck.

Thanks Mudhen, OK, I'm off! Let's see, the wonderful southern style culture first hand.. This is gonna be interesting!! :mrgreen:
 

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