>>>You know you're a farm wife...........
>>>
>>>
>>>If your name is taped to the side of a cake pan: If you call the
>>>implement dealer and he recognizes your
>>>voice: If the vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone:
>>>If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can't
>>>because the spare is on a flatbed: If your second vehicle is
>>>still a pickup: If your husband has ever used field equipment to
>>>maintain
>>>your yard: If you're in the habit of buying food stuff in bulk:
>>>If a "night out" involves the local 4-H club: If the word
>>>"auction" makes you tingle: If you've ever washed off each other
>>>with a pressure washer:
>>>
>>>If "a little bit of lunch" involves 6 courses and a dessert
>>>made from scratch: If taking lunch to the field is as close as
>>>you get to a
>>>picnic: If your rock garden was hand-picked: If you can mend a
>>>pair of pants and the fence that ripped
>>>them: If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of:
>>>filters, tires, overalls,
>>>chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun
>>>shells: If "Farm", "Ranch", "Country", "Cowboy" or "Antique" is
>>>in
>>>the name of your favorite magazine: If your tan lines are
>>>somewhere below your shoulder and
>>>above your elbow: If you ever went on a date to the bull sales:
>>>If you've ever called your husband to supper, using a radio:
>>>If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a
>>>seed corn dealer: If your driveway is longer than a stone's
>>>throw: If your mailbox looks like a piece of farm machinery: If
>>>your wading pool has ever doubled as a stock tank, or
>>>vice versa: If the daily paper is always a day late: If you have
>>>a yard, but not a lawn: If you have lots of machinery and each
>>>piece is worth more
>>>than your house: If the neighbor's house is best viewed
>>>with binoculars: If the directions to your house include the
>>>words, "miles,"
>>>"silos," "last," or "gravel road": If the tractor and the combine
>>>have air conditioning and an
>>>FM radio but your car doesn't: If your storage shed is a barn:
>>>If you measure travel in miles not minutes: If your farm equipment
>>>has the latest global positioning
>>>technology and you still can't find your husband: If you consider
>>>"hot dish" a food group: If your husband says, "Can you help me
>>>for a few minutes?"
>>>and you know that might
>>>be anywhere from a few minutes... to six hours: If you plan your
>>>vacations around farm shows or calving or
>>>planting or harvesting: If grass stains are the least of your
>>>laundry problems: If your refrigerator contains
>>>medicine....livestock
>>>medicine: If your car's color is two-toned and one color is
>>>gravel
>>>road brown: If you knew everyone in your high school graduation
>>>class: If you've entertained the romantic notion of living in an
>>>old, country farmhouse with a fireplace If you use newspapers to
>>>help keep the kitchen floor clean: If you've ever said, "Oh, it's
>>>only a little mud.": If you need a pair of vice grips to run a
>>>household
>>>appliance: If you've used the loader to reach the windows when
>>>they
>>>needed washing: If you've ever discovered a batch of kittens in
>>>your laundry
>>>basket: If dinner is at noon and lunch is before and after
>>>dinner: If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skid loader: If
>>>quality time with your hubby means you'll have a
>>>flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other: If you know the
>>>difference between field corn and sweet
>>>corn: If you buy your husband's "dress" socks at Campbell's
>>>Supply: If family "pets" include deer, coons, pheasants,
>>>squirrels,
>>>foxes or birds: If you can make a meal that can be ready in six
>>>minutes and
>>>will still be ready in two hours: If your basement is really a
>>>cellar: If "sharing a cab" has nothing to do with a taxi and
>>>everything to do with getting across
>>>the field: If your job in town is considered a farm subsidy:
>>>
>>>
>>>If your name is taped to the side of a cake pan: If you call the
>>>implement dealer and he recognizes your
>>>voice: If the vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone:
>>>If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can't
>>>because the spare is on a flatbed: If your second vehicle is
>>>still a pickup: If your husband has ever used field equipment to
>>>maintain
>>>your yard: If you're in the habit of buying food stuff in bulk:
>>>If a "night out" involves the local 4-H club: If the word
>>>"auction" makes you tingle: If you've ever washed off each other
>>>with a pressure washer:
>>>
>>>If "a little bit of lunch" involves 6 courses and a dessert
>>>made from scratch: If taking lunch to the field is as close as
>>>you get to a
>>>picnic: If your rock garden was hand-picked: If you can mend a
>>>pair of pants and the fence that ripped
>>>them: If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of:
>>>filters, tires, overalls,
>>>chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun
>>>shells: If "Farm", "Ranch", "Country", "Cowboy" or "Antique" is
>>>in
>>>the name of your favorite magazine: If your tan lines are
>>>somewhere below your shoulder and
>>>above your elbow: If you ever went on a date to the bull sales:
>>>If you've ever called your husband to supper, using a radio:
>>>If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a
>>>seed corn dealer: If your driveway is longer than a stone's
>>>throw: If your mailbox looks like a piece of farm machinery: If
>>>your wading pool has ever doubled as a stock tank, or
>>>vice versa: If the daily paper is always a day late: If you have
>>>a yard, but not a lawn: If you have lots of machinery and each
>>>piece is worth more
>>>than your house: If the neighbor's house is best viewed
>>>with binoculars: If the directions to your house include the
>>>words, "miles,"
>>>"silos," "last," or "gravel road": If the tractor and the combine
>>>have air conditioning and an
>>>FM radio but your car doesn't: If your storage shed is a barn:
>>>If you measure travel in miles not minutes: If your farm equipment
>>>has the latest global positioning
>>>technology and you still can't find your husband: If you consider
>>>"hot dish" a food group: If your husband says, "Can you help me
>>>for a few minutes?"
>>>and you know that might
>>>be anywhere from a few minutes... to six hours: If you plan your
>>>vacations around farm shows or calving or
>>>planting or harvesting: If grass stains are the least of your
>>>laundry problems: If your refrigerator contains
>>>medicine....livestock
>>>medicine: If your car's color is two-toned and one color is
>>>gravel
>>>road brown: If you knew everyone in your high school graduation
>>>class: If you've entertained the romantic notion of living in an
>>>old, country farmhouse with a fireplace If you use newspapers to
>>>help keep the kitchen floor clean: If you've ever said, "Oh, it's
>>>only a little mud.": If you need a pair of vice grips to run a
>>>household
>>>appliance: If you've used the loader to reach the windows when
>>>they
>>>needed washing: If you've ever discovered a batch of kittens in
>>>your laundry
>>>basket: If dinner is at noon and lunch is before and after
>>>dinner: If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skid loader: If
>>>quality time with your hubby means you'll have a
>>>flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other: If you know the
>>>difference between field corn and sweet
>>>corn: If you buy your husband's "dress" socks at Campbell's
>>>Supply: If family "pets" include deer, coons, pheasants,
>>>squirrels,
>>>foxes or birds: If you can make a meal that can be ready in six
>>>minutes and
>>>will still be ready in two hours: If your basement is really a
>>>cellar: If "sharing a cab" has nothing to do with a taxi and
>>>everything to do with getting across
>>>the field: If your job in town is considered a farm subsidy: