Julie
Well-known member
My name is Lee and I'm a tool-a-holic. I admit it. Going into a tool store for me is like a woman making a pilgrimage to Nordstroms. I belong to the Tool of the Month Club, the Craftsman Club and own gadgets whose purpose is still unknown to me. This more than qualifies me to answer the question... "What does every rancher need in a well stocked tool box?"
First of all, you don't need a tool box, that is what the bed of the pickup is for. Unless you own a flat bed truck, in which case you are considered upper management and won't be using tools. For the rest of us, here is a list of the tools of the trade and their intended purpose.
Tape Measure- For social climbing ranchers to wear on their belt when they go to the hardware store in hopes someone will mistake them for a carpenter.
Crescent Wrench- Primary use is for nailing nails, staples and small screws.
Pipe Wrench- For pounding larger screws, lag bolts and spikes. If they still won't budge, don't force it, just get a bigger wrench. That's why they come in all sizes.
Fence Stretcher- On rainy days she can ride in the cab of the truck with you.
Shovel- To lean on as you supervise the fence stretcher.
Claw Hammer- For tightening and splicing barbed wire fence.
Vise Grips- For attaching your truck's battery cable to the battery.
Level- To settle arguments at the pool hall on whether the table is level or not.
Punch- Will add holes in your belt as you grow older and wider.
Pocket Knife- For whittling, scraping rust, cutting calves or picking teeth when a hoof pick is not available.
Hoof Rasp- A versatile kitchen tool that will peel potatoes, grate cheese and remove baked-on grease.
Paint Brush- I'm told they're good for dusting furniture.
Hay Hooks- Used to break metal wires on hay bales when wire cutters are someplace you can't find them. Like, attached to your belt.
Box End Adjustable Wench- The lady at the tool store who won't extend me any more credit and kicks me out at closing time.
Bald Pein Hammerhead- Her husband.
Bolt Cutters- For opening locks and cutting chain when accidentally locked out.
Horn Scoops- For pruning small shrubbery.
Hack Saw- Will saw horns off cattle if your horn scoops are dull.
Socket Set- For tractor repair and reminding you that you never learned fractions in school.
Hatchet- Alternate tool for working on tractor if you don't have a socket set.
Allen Wrenches- Wrenches that belonged to your wife's first husband, Allen.
Digging Bar- A misnomer. Real job is to stop animals from backing up in a chute.
Screw Driver- Good for stirring paint, chiseling or as a small pry bar.
Chisel- Used on screws in place of a screwdriver which probably has wet paint all over it.
Pick Ax- I have no idea what it's used for and don't want to find out.
Fence Pliers- For opening bottles and cans.
Extension Cord- To plug in your electric drill. Should be at least a mile long.
Brace and Bit- You'll need this when the extension cord isn't long enough and the rechargeable batteries are dead in your portable drill. Which is always.
All In One Tool- Ads on TV claim that this tool will perform all the functions of every tool found in a tool box, allowing you to lose all your tools at one time.
Baling Wire- An acceptable substitute for screws, clamps, bolts and glue.
Duct Tape- Used when baling wire is not available.
First of all, you don't need a tool box, that is what the bed of the pickup is for. Unless you own a flat bed truck, in which case you are considered upper management and won't be using tools. For the rest of us, here is a list of the tools of the trade and their intended purpose.
Tape Measure- For social climbing ranchers to wear on their belt when they go to the hardware store in hopes someone will mistake them for a carpenter.
Crescent Wrench- Primary use is for nailing nails, staples and small screws.
Pipe Wrench- For pounding larger screws, lag bolts and spikes. If they still won't budge, don't force it, just get a bigger wrench. That's why they come in all sizes.
Fence Stretcher- On rainy days she can ride in the cab of the truck with you.
Shovel- To lean on as you supervise the fence stretcher.
Claw Hammer- For tightening and splicing barbed wire fence.
Vise Grips- For attaching your truck's battery cable to the battery.
Level- To settle arguments at the pool hall on whether the table is level or not.
Punch- Will add holes in your belt as you grow older and wider.
Pocket Knife- For whittling, scraping rust, cutting calves or picking teeth when a hoof pick is not available.
Hoof Rasp- A versatile kitchen tool that will peel potatoes, grate cheese and remove baked-on grease.
Paint Brush- I'm told they're good for dusting furniture.
Hay Hooks- Used to break metal wires on hay bales when wire cutters are someplace you can't find them. Like, attached to your belt.
Box End Adjustable Wench- The lady at the tool store who won't extend me any more credit and kicks me out at closing time.
Bald Pein Hammerhead- Her husband.
Bolt Cutters- For opening locks and cutting chain when accidentally locked out.
Horn Scoops- For pruning small shrubbery.
Hack Saw- Will saw horns off cattle if your horn scoops are dull.
Socket Set- For tractor repair and reminding you that you never learned fractions in school.
Hatchet- Alternate tool for working on tractor if you don't have a socket set.
Allen Wrenches- Wrenches that belonged to your wife's first husband, Allen.
Digging Bar- A misnomer. Real job is to stop animals from backing up in a chute.
Screw Driver- Good for stirring paint, chiseling or as a small pry bar.
Chisel- Used on screws in place of a screwdriver which probably has wet paint all over it.
Pick Ax- I have no idea what it's used for and don't want to find out.
Fence Pliers- For opening bottles and cans.
Extension Cord- To plug in your electric drill. Should be at least a mile long.
Brace and Bit- You'll need this when the extension cord isn't long enough and the rechargeable batteries are dead in your portable drill. Which is always.
All In One Tool- Ads on TV claim that this tool will perform all the functions of every tool found in a tool box, allowing you to lose all your tools at one time.
Baling Wire- An acceptable substitute for screws, clamps, bolts and glue.
Duct Tape- Used when baling wire is not available.
