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40 Things You'll Never Hear A Redneck Say

Cal

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
3,598
Location
Southern SD
40 Things You'll Never Hear A Redneck Say:
1. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
2. I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex.
3. Duct tape won't fix that.
4. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
5. Come to think of it, I will have a martini.
6. We don't keep firearms in this house.
7. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
8. You can't feed that to the dog.
9. I thought Graceland was tacky.
10. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
11. Wrestling's fake.
12. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
13. We're vegetarians.
14. Do you think my gut is too big?
15. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
16. Honey, we don't need another dog.
17. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
18. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
19. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
20. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
21. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
22. Trim the fat off that steak.
23. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
24. The tires on that truck are too big.
25. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
26. I've got it all on the C: drive.
27. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
28. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
29. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
30. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
31. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
32. Checkmate.
33. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
34. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
35. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee-Haw" that we haven't seen.
36. I don't have a favorite college team.
37. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
38. You All.
39. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'.
40. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin'.
 
DustDevil said:
Got a laff out of me, too.
Hey, Larryshoat, I had a buddy at Cedar Bayou Jr. High named Larry Choate, that wasn't you was it?

No, that came from years back when I had a couple of young fellers working for me. One day I called a pen of 50 lb pigs "shoats", they thought that was so funny that they started calling me " Larry shoat". They Then went to school and started calling girls "shoats" and got in trouble for it.

Larry
 
Soapweed said:
katrina said:
DustDevil said:
I bet that did get 'em in trouble, and I don't care who you are that's funny, too. :)

What am I the only one who's been in a hog calling contest?? :wink: :twisted:

How many others can say they washed mirrors with WD40? :wink: You are genuine original and the real thing, Katrina. :-)

Right back at ya Soap.... That there is the ultimate complimate!!
Thanks Soap!!!!
 

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