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Aggressive Girls

Mike

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
28,480
Location
Montgomery, Al
(CBS) CHICAGO They graduated from pushing and shoving and name-calling to straight up duking it out. Now a furious debate is on over the reasons girls are fighting and how we can stop it.

As CBS 2's Diann Burns reports, the urgency is underscored by the millions of references and thousands of videos of violent fights on the Internet.

The beatings are punishing – fists flying, hair pulling and kicking. This is how more and more girls these days handle disputes.

"Me or my friend bumped into a girl in the lunch line and I didn't say sorry," said Amber Taylor-Hart, a high school senior. "She came at me. We started fighting."

"If you just look at them a certain way, they'll try to fight you," said high school sophomore Shaina Singleton.

"They hit me, they kicked me and one of them pulled my hair," said high school freshman Danielle Sawyer.

"If you hit the girl first and win the fight, then you're popular," said Vanessa Yanes, a high school sophomore. "Everybody wants to be your friend because you can fight."

These girls have taken a cue from the headlines accused of glamorizing, even validating, risky behavior and violence from Girls Gone Wild to the rich and famous.

Catfights are some of the biggest draws on television, in the tabloids and in the movies. Critics argue all that has a heavy influence on girls.

A report, "Girl Violence and Aggression," found that between 1980 and 2003 the rate for girls arrested for simple assault increased 269 percent, nationwide.

And, the number of girl fights increased last year in Chicago Public Schools alone by 31 percent.

Videos of girl fights are all over the Internet. In this generation girl power can be a punch out and a vicious mob attack. What is behind the rage?

"I get really pushed over the edge. I can't have nobody mess with me," Yanes said.

"It's escalating. It's more violent and it seems more deliberate," said Edith Crigler.

Crigler works with girls through the Chicago Area Project, an agency that addresses juvenile delinquency.

"When you sit down and talk to them and ask them why they did it they say they don't know," Crigler said. "Little girls are angry, angry for lots of reason. Sometimes their home environment, sometimes because they don't have what somebody else has."

"Some don't have parents who really teach them how to manage aggression," said author James Garbarino.

Garbarino wrote "See Jane Hit," a look into girls fighting and some solutions to the problem.

"Girls used to get the message that 'girls don't hit, period,' Garbarino said. "And boys were told 'boys do hit.' It's just a matter of learning when to hit, who to hit, why to hit."

"It's usually about someone talking about them or their personal life or spreading rumors and most of the time sadly its about boys," said Bianca Torres, a high school senior.

And boys are right there in the videos, ringside, egging the girls on.

"Because a lot of girls when they get into it they start pulling on their shirts," Yanes said.

That, she says, is why boys like watching the fights. The girls become cheap entertainment, demeaning themselves and may not even realize they are doing it.

"At the time we thought it was pretty funny," Torres said.

Bianca actually fed into the madness. The aspiring filmmaker happened on two of her friends fighting, and posted the video on the Internet.

Video of suburban girls engaged in a violent hazing ritual showed up on the Internet, and cheerleaders in Texas posed for sexually explicit pictures for kicks.

"Anything that cheapens life, so shallow cheap, materialist culture that undermines the spiritual development of kids, those are all toxic influences," Garbarino said.

Taylor-Hart and the others have figured it out.

"If you can't fix stuff with words then just go your separate ways. Live your own life. You don't need to physical fight, because it really proves nothing," she said.

Consider the key factors raised here: children need parenting and to be protected from the distorted lesson of abuse: that people can express love that way.

Society must help girls embrace the value of their bodies and minds.

(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights R
 
I guess it all comes down to up-bringing. We live in a society that doesn't allow parents or teachers or other authority figures to discipline children any more so the youth of today seems to think they can make up their own rules. When there are no consequences for their actions young people are bound to get primal.

If there are discipline measures taken then the lawyers get involved. I just visited with a friend of mine last night..... His son was the new kid in school and an older boy blind-sided him and broke his jaw in two places. It took surgery the next morning to fix him up. The older boy got three days suspension. Big deal !!!

My friend said they had no choice but to press charges and here again the courts are involved. The older kids parents will end up paying the Piper when they should have been keeping a handle on their kid.
 
And here I was thinking a different type of aggressive girls... These stories are just getting so comonplace.. I don't know, I hard some horrible stories 18 years ago before going to highscool and stories from other districts in which racially motivated attacks hapened all the time (mostly on white kids) and how kids from outside the districts center were often targeted as well for being 1)farm boys or 2) rich boys or both even if they were neither.... Didn't hear of any consequences back than either.. Schools don't have the power to do anything anymore as they get taken to court, parents either are incapable o unwilling t step up to the plate.. I don't know... I just don't know.. Homeschooling looks more and more attarctive each day and I find that sad.
 
Aw, IL Rancher...........homeschooling is the best of the best! You have control over what your kids learn (and what they don't) and you don't have to schedule your life by what some school board says. I tell ya, it's the biggest freedom movement we ever took! Our lives were once again ours. I wouldn't trade the 8 or 9 years we've spent homeschooling, for anything. I just wish we'da started out in K instead of waiting till Al was almost out of 3rd grade..........it took a few years to undo the bad programming he'd gotten in public school, but he's a great kid now, and I think homeschooling is one of the big reasons why. I guess my philosophy on the whole deal is that my kid is the most important thing to me, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure he's got every chance I can give him, to excel in life. I really am hard-pressed to even think of another 16 year old who's graduating from high school.......well, except Doogie Howser, but he was the definate exception... :wink:

And as for aggressive girls, I personally know one "lady" (and I use the term very loosely) that I'd love to punch out.........sad, but true!

But I think it's a definate result of lack of discipline (at home, at school, and self). It's just giving back to society, what society has deemed good.
 
Ranchy... School has its benifits too.. It does and some of those I am reluctant to give up so easily.. And I am not talking about getting the kids out of our hair or not having to be responsible for their educatiion. I am talking about becoming part of the comunity (Which we are just not because of the fact we are the dreaded outsiders), sports, theatre and interacting with bunches of kids. I think I benifited from going to a school with all sorts of different ethnicities considering the town I lived in was 95% white with the othe 5% being off white, lol. Out here my kids wouldn't ge that benifit even if I did send them to school. It is a tough decision. My best friend from high school, besides me wife that is, was homeschooled until she was a freshamn in High school. My wife finished off her HS with her senior year being homeschooled. I know lots of success and there are some programs out here that cater to the homeschool parents...

At the same time I really do know some kids that are just disasters that were homeschooled.... Mostly goes back to their parents to be honest.. The question we ask ourselves is can we be the parent that our kids deserve as a teacher... My patience level sucks so that is something we would have to work on... Oldest kid is only 4 so we have all of 1 year left to decide basically..
 
Yes, I have heard all that before. There are other ways to "socialize" your kids, though, and have them exposed to the other "cultural" things you want them to be familiar with. I know there are good school systems out there and I really am not ragging on them at all. It's just a fact of life out here, though, that over 1/3 of the school age children in our district are homeschooled. Our system has some very serious problems (and they seem to be escallating, instead of getting better).

Not every parent should homeschool, either. I think it's really a matter of whether you're willing and able, to dedicate yourself to the hour or three (some days even 4 or 5) it's going to take, to do a good job at it. There are so many "fun" ways you can teach your kids, and it makes it fun for everyone when the whole family is involved. I just know it definately worked out for the best for our family, and I hate to see anyone dismiss it as being a last alternative.

I wish I could even start to remember when Al was 4.............. :lol: I'd love to have his whole life ahead of us again, so many things I'd do the same, and a few I'd do differently, too. Hindsight, I reckon. :wink:
 
To each their own but my four public schooled kids are good citizens-top athletes and honour students. I wouldn't trade the friendships they've made or the great teachers they've encountered either. iIve coached lots of home schooled kids over the years-some are fine young kids-some are well not so fine. I went to school with some parents who are home schooling their kids-all I can say is YIKES. Neither one is the utopia for everybody. Our school unit encourages alot of parental involvement which I think is the best of both worlds to be honest.
 
I might as well jump in here and give my 2 cents on the whole thing...

I was in a public school until the 7th grade when is was pulled out and home schooled. I was enrolled in a school in Virgina and had a curriculum and took all of my tests over the internet. When I was enrolled in this school, I was behind compared to where I was supposed to be on all of my subjects. I can say that I learned more being home schooled than I would have in public school. Also becase of the flexible hours, I was able to help out more in the field.

As for socialization, I can make a conversation with just about anybody. I'm not some kind of hermit that lives in the basement. As for "cutural" things in the world, I don't care about what's in style, or what anybody thinks of me. I know right from wrong and I don't have a tendancy to cave to "peer pressure" just so sombody might like me. If I'm hated for that, than so be it

Just my thoughts, I will now step down off my soap box and let sombody else take the floor.
 
If I leave it up to my wife the kids will be homeschooled. The question is, am I enough against it to send my daughter to school because my wife will do what I want (even if it costs me) because that is how she was raised.. I can't say I ever really go that route because in my family mom was in charge of the kids, lol... WE get kind of dysfunctional here sometimes but usually get things worked out..

We shall see... I hear good things about out local school and bad things.. If they move the school to where they are talking about and don't redistrict us I think they will make that decision for us.
 
I'm still sticking to my opinion that public schools prepare children better for the real world then home schooling. Introduce them to the hard realities of life or shelter them..............
 
On Sunday we talked with a very bright 7th grade boy who loves home schooling- his mother doesn't teach him (which is what I thought homeschooling usually meant.) Instead the state gives the child a computer and he does it all by computer. He really enjoys going at his own pace he said and is a year ahead of what the public school is doing. His mom just keeps him on schedule. He plays with friends each afternoon and has groups he is involved with two nights a week. He doesn't feel deprived.

Then on Monday I heard another view from a young mother who has a two year old and a first grader and is trying to home school. The first grader does NOT like it and fights doing the work. She had enjoyed public kindergarten and now my guess is she doesn't like being bottled up with just her mom at home all the time. Mom isn't happy with the continual battle and is considering public school again. Mom also seems to have some emotional issues herself and could probably use a daily break from her child.

It seems like one answer doesn't benefit all.
 
Well, I go to public schools, am DEFINATELY not an honour student, or top athlete, or even really popular, but aside from the few bad times you have, going to the same place everyday to go, see if the teachers can manage to teach you something, and spend countless hours each year with your friends, talk hockey, sledding, huting, adn occasionally cattle, is priceless.

Ive only been in a handful of fights, and definately don't want to do it again, but when soemone pushes someone with an obvious disadvantage (disability, injury, or even if a guy is pushing a girl around) I will weasel my way in, and lend a hand, an usually end up sore, and on my rear, but I know I did the right thing.

Sometimes there is more to it than what the media says.
 

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