gcreekrch
Well-known member
A FARMER STOPPED BY THE LOCAL MECHANICS SHOP TO HAVE HIS TRUCK FIXED.
> THEY COULDN'T DO IT WHILE HE WAITED, SO HE SAID HE DIDN'T LIVE FAR
> AND
> WOULD JUST WALK HOME.
>
> ON THE WAY HOME HE STOPPED AT THE HARDWARE STORE AND BOUGHT A BUCKET
> AND A GALLON OF PAINT. HE THEN STOPPED BY THE FEED STORE AND PICKED
> UP
> A COUPLE OF CHICKENS AND A GOOSE. HOWEVER, STRUGGLING OUTSIDE THE
> STORE HE NOW HAD A PROBLEM - HOW TO CARRY HIS ENTIRE PURCHASES HOME.
>
> WHILE HE WAS SCRATCHING HIS HEAD HE WAS APPROACHED BY A LITTLE OLD
> LADY WHO TOLD HIM SHE WAS LOST. SHE ASKED, 'CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO
> GET
> TO 1603 MOCKINGBIRD LANE ?'
>
> THE FARMER SAID, 'WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, MY FARM IS VERY CLOSE TO
> THAT HOUSE I WOULD WALK YOU THERE BUT I CAN'T CARRY THIS LOT.'
>
> THE OLD LADY SUGGESTED, 'WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE CAN OF PAINT IN THE
> BUCKET. CARRY THE BUCKET IN ONE HAND, PUT A CHICKEN UNDER EACH ARM
> AND
> CARRY THE GOOSE IN YOUR OTHER HAND?'
>
> 'WHY THANK YOU VERY MUCH,' HE SAID AND PROCEEDED TO WALK THE OLD GIRL
> HOME.
>
> ON THE WAY HE SAYS 'LET'S TAKE MY SHORT CUT AND GO DOWN THIS ALLEY.
> WE'LL BE THERE IN NO TIME.'
>
> THE LITTLE OLD LADY LOOKED HIM OVER CAUTIOUSLY THEN SAID, 'I AM A
> LONELY WIDOW WITHOUT A HUSBAND TO DEFEND ME.. HOW DO I KNOW THAT WHEN
> WE GET IN THE ALLEY YOU WON'T HOLD ME UP AGAINST THE WALL, PULL UP MY
> SKIRT, AND HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME?'
>
> THE FARMER SAID, 'HOLY SMOKES LADY! I'M CARRYING A BUCKET, A GALLON
> OF PAINT, TWO CHICKENS, AND A GOOSE. HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I
> POSSIBLY
> HOLD YOU UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DO THAT?'
>
> THE OLD LADY REPLIED, 'SET THE GOOSE DOWN, COVER HIM WITH THE BUCKET,
> PUT THE PAINT ON TOP OF THE BUCKET, AND I'LL HOLD THE CHICKENS.'
> THEY COULDN'T DO IT WHILE HE WAITED, SO HE SAID HE DIDN'T LIVE FAR
> AND
> WOULD JUST WALK HOME.
>
> ON THE WAY HOME HE STOPPED AT THE HARDWARE STORE AND BOUGHT A BUCKET
> AND A GALLON OF PAINT. HE THEN STOPPED BY THE FEED STORE AND PICKED
> UP
> A COUPLE OF CHICKENS AND A GOOSE. HOWEVER, STRUGGLING OUTSIDE THE
> STORE HE NOW HAD A PROBLEM - HOW TO CARRY HIS ENTIRE PURCHASES HOME.
>
> WHILE HE WAS SCRATCHING HIS HEAD HE WAS APPROACHED BY A LITTLE OLD
> LADY WHO TOLD HIM SHE WAS LOST. SHE ASKED, 'CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO
> GET
> TO 1603 MOCKINGBIRD LANE ?'
>
> THE FARMER SAID, 'WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, MY FARM IS VERY CLOSE TO
> THAT HOUSE I WOULD WALK YOU THERE BUT I CAN'T CARRY THIS LOT.'
>
> THE OLD LADY SUGGESTED, 'WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE CAN OF PAINT IN THE
> BUCKET. CARRY THE BUCKET IN ONE HAND, PUT A CHICKEN UNDER EACH ARM
> AND
> CARRY THE GOOSE IN YOUR OTHER HAND?'
>
> 'WHY THANK YOU VERY MUCH,' HE SAID AND PROCEEDED TO WALK THE OLD GIRL
> HOME.
>
> ON THE WAY HE SAYS 'LET'S TAKE MY SHORT CUT AND GO DOWN THIS ALLEY.
> WE'LL BE THERE IN NO TIME.'
>
> THE LITTLE OLD LADY LOOKED HIM OVER CAUTIOUSLY THEN SAID, 'I AM A
> LONELY WIDOW WITHOUT A HUSBAND TO DEFEND ME.. HOW DO I KNOW THAT WHEN
> WE GET IN THE ALLEY YOU WON'T HOLD ME UP AGAINST THE WALL, PULL UP MY
> SKIRT, AND HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME?'
>
> THE FARMER SAID, 'HOLY SMOKES LADY! I'M CARRYING A BUCKET, A GALLON
> OF PAINT, TWO CHICKENS, AND A GOOSE. HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I
> POSSIBLY
> HOLD YOU UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DO THAT?'
>
> THE OLD LADY REPLIED, 'SET THE GOOSE DOWN, COVER HIM WITH THE BUCKET,
> PUT THE PAINT ON TOP OF THE BUCKET, AND I'LL HOLD THE CHICKENS.'
