"Developing Thicker Skin"

[sweetbasil]

Hello Everyone,
I hope this post finds everyone with good health and that your Sunday is going well! Being part of this community has being a blessing in so many ways!

Here is the deal, I like most of you perhaps have had experiences growing up that made us stronger and even helped us "developed thicker skin", but in the past 2.5 years, it seems like I have been "shedding" my "thick skin" and the new skin is "vulnerable" and I don't like it, as I need my "think skin" back right now. Has anyone has ever experienced something similar? If so, how did you developed your "think skin" again?

Best,
SB

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

I think people feel that "Thick skinned" means they don't care but I feel that confidence can appear like you have thick skin but you can have confidence and still care. Does that make any sense? :?

 

[sweetbasil]

I think people feel that "Thick skinned" means they don't care but I feel that confidence can appear like you have thick skin but you can have confidence and still care. Does that make any sense? :?

Hi BMR,
I guess for me "thick skin" means having a skin "shell" that serves as a "wall" to protect my spirit... I tend to wear my kindness on my sleeve, and right now, I am also vulnerable, so it makes it even more difficult to overcome current challenges if I don't have that "thick skin" like I used to have...

 

[Soapweed]

I think people feel that "Thick skinned" means they don't care but I feel that confidence can appear like you have thick skin but you can have confidence and still care. Does that make any sense? :?

Hi BMR,
I guess for me "thick skin" means having a skin "shell" that serves as a "wall" to protect my spirit... I tend to wear my kindness on my sleeve, and right now, I am also vulnerable, so it makes it even more difficult to overcome current challenges if I don't have that "thick skin" like I used to have...

Collies are too timid, and German Shepherds are too aggressive. A Collie-German Shepherd cross is just right. :wink:

 

[HAY MAKER]

I think people feel that "Thick skinned" means they don't care but I feel that confidence can appear like you have thick skin but you can have confidence and still care. Does that make any sense? :?

NO.
good luck

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

I think people feel that "Thick skinned" means they don't care but I feel that confidence can appear like you have thick skin but you can have confidence and still care. Does that make any sense? :?

NO.
good luck

She didn't mean thick headed like you . :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[leanin' H]

What has always amazed me is WHY we need thick skin? If folks didnt have such razor sharp tongues we wouldnt need thick skin. :???: Sweetbasil, just remember a little something it took me a dang long time to figure out....... the only folks we need to be concerned about and how they feel about us (Including thier words) are the Good Lord and family and friends. Some friends we can do without if thier true colors show them as detrimental to our success. Sadly, even some family members can forget themselves. But if God knows i am doing my best and approves, i got it made. Hope it works out swell for ya. :wink:

 

[Faster horses]

Sweet basil, I have been mulling your question all day. So here goes:
I was in the advertising business for 30 years, and believe me
it takes a thick skin to do that. That doesn't mean I didn't care, I cared a lot.
But one of the first things I learned is Don't take everything personal.

I also do this. If I think someone doesn't want to speak to me or they are
avoiding me, I give them 3 times. If they do that 3 times, then I figure I
got along
without them before I met them, I'll get along without them now. :wink: Does it
hurt? Yes, it hurts, but what can you do about it? I've gone directly
and talked to them before, or tried, they just deny anything is wrong. So try to
hold your chin up and go your merry way. Another thing, try to remember
that you most likely aren't the only one that gets treated this way. We all
live through it. I think that is what gives you a thicker skin.

When dealing with people, we don't know what they are dealing with.
They might be having problems with their job,
their home life, who knows? So that's why I give someone 3 chances.
Most often, that's all it is, they were having a bad day for some reason unknown to me.
I know myself, if I am
really concentrating on something, I might pass someone and not say hello.
I'll realize it too late and if it is possible, I'll go back to that person and say something like
,"I'm sorry. My mind was a million miles away, I did not mean
to not say hi to you." Never be afraid to say "I'm sorry" and mean it.

Another thing I found in advertising, if I made a mistake and it was already
in print and the customer was unhappy, I just stepped up to the plate and
said, "I messed up. What can we do to make it right." So many times the
customer was so amazed that I would take the responsibilty they got right
over the problem. So, I've learned to take the responsibilty when it's mine
to do so and don't try to blame it on something or someone else. People
really respect you for taking the responsibility for a mistake.

And whatever you do, try not to think about what others are thinking.
I know people who do that and are not very good at it.
Because one tends to imagine things, it can cause all kinds of unimaginable
problems.

I hope this helps!!

 

[sweetbasil]

I think people feel that "Thick skinned" means they don't care but I feel that confidence can appear like you have thick skin but you can have confidence and still care. Does that make any sense? :?

Hi BMR,
I guess for me "thick skin" means having a skin "shell" that serves as a "wall" to protect my spirit... I tend to wear my kindness on my sleeve, and right now, I am also vulnerable, so it makes it even more difficult to overcome current challenges if I don't have that "thick skin" like I used to have...

Collies are too timid, and German Shepherds are too aggressive. A Collie-German Shepherd cross is just right. :wink:

I agree with you!

 

[sweetbasil]

What has always amazed me is WHY we need thick skin? If folks didnt have such razor sharp tongues we wouldnt need thick skin. :???: Sweetbasil, just remember a little something it took me a dang long time to figure out....... the only folks we need to be concerned about and how they feel about us (Including thier words) are the Good Lord and family and friends. Some friends we can do without if thier true colors show them as detrimental to our success. Sadly, even some family members can forget themselves. But if God knows i am doing my best and approves, i got it made. Hope it works out swell for ya. :wink:

Hello "leanin' H",
Thanks for taking the time to share some words of wisdom with me. Interesting enough, my Mom and I were talking today about a similar subject as what you mentioned, and I came to the realization that it is true, the Lord is my "boss" and my "father" as he and only he will be the one who I will be giving an account of what I did on earth when I pass on to the next life.

Developing "thick skin" has been a "survival" mechanism for me before, but I always have make sure that I am still grounded and true to my being; circumstances can make a us humble or sour, and I try to look at each life's experience as a way to connect to others people, and to learn from it to better myself.


Happy week,
SB

 

[sweetbasil]

Sweet basil, I have been mulling your question all day. So here goes:
I was in the advertising business for 30 years, and believe me
it takes a thick skin to do that. That doesn't mean I didn't care, I cared a lot.
But one of the first things I learned is Don't take everything personal.

I also do this. If I think someone doesn't want to speak to me or they are
avoiding me, I give them 3 times. If they do that 3 times, then I figure I
got along
without them before I met them, I'll get along without them now. :wink: Does it
hurt? Yes, it hurts, but what can you do about it? I've gone directly
and talked to them before, or tried, they just deny anything is wrong. So try to
hold your chin up and go your merry way. Another thing, try to remember
that you most likely aren't the only one that gets treated this way. We all
live through it. I think that is what gives you a thicker skin.

When dealing with people, we don't know what they are dealing with.
They might be having problems with their job,
their home life, who knows? So that's why I give someone 3 chances.
Most often, that's all it is, they were having a bad day for some reason unknown to me.
I know myself, if I am
really concentrating on something, I might pass someone and not say hello.
I'll realize it too late and if it is possible, I'll go back to that person and say something like
,"I'm sorry. My mind was a million miles away, I did not mean
to not say hi to you." Never be afraid to say "I'm sorry" and mean it.

Another thing I found in advertising, if I made a mistake and it was already
in print and the customer was unhappy, I just stepped up to the plate and
said, "I messed up. What can we do to make it right." So many times the
customer was so amazed that I would take the responsibilty they got right
over the problem. So, I've learned to take the responsibilty when it's mine
to do so and don't try to blame it on something or someone else. People
really respect you for taking the responsibility for a mistake.

And whatever you do, try not to think about what others are thinking.
I know people who do that and are not very good at it.
Because one tends to imagine things, it can cause all kinds of unimaginable
problems.

I hope this helps!!

"FH",
Thanks a million for taking the time to share your experiences and the much needed wisdom. As I was reading your post, a little voice told me to look for the copy of the "Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz among the many books I have piled up in my closet. This little book is so inspiring, and one of these pieces of wisdom is not to take "things personal" which is exactly what you said! I truly appreciate everyone's feedback and stories, as I have so much to do to continue to bloom into a better person each day.

Have a blissful Tuesday,
SB