gcreekrch
Well-known member
Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
>> He is at the Pearly Gates , met by St. Peter himself.
>>
>> St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
>> It is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
>>
>> Here's An entrance examination for everyone.
>> The test is short, but you have to
>> Pass it before you can get into Heaven.'
>>
>> The test is only three questions.
>>
>> First:
>> What two days of the week
>> Begin with the letter T?
>>
>> Second:
>> How many seconds are there in a year?
>>
>> Third:
>> What is God's first name?'
>>
>> Forrest leaves to think the questions over. alv,
>> Tell me your answers.'
>>
>> Forrest replied, "Well the First one -- which two days in the week
>> begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be
>> Today and Tomorrow.'
>>
>> The Saint's eyes opened wide and
>> He exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you
>> do
>> Have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you
>> credit
>> For that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
>>
>> 'How many seconds in a year ?
>> Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk
>> about
>> That, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
>>
>> Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
>> Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
>> seconds In a year?'
>>
>> Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's
>> Got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '
>>
>> 'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.
>> 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
>> Though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to
>> give
>> You credit for that one, too.
>> Let us go on with the third and final question.
>> Can you tell me God's first name'?
>>
>> 'Sure,' Forrest replied,
>> 'it's Andy.'
>>
>> 'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated
>> And frustrated St Peter .
>>
>> 'Ok, I can understand how you
>> Came up with your answers to my first two questions,
>> But just how in the
>> World did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of
>> God?'
>>
>> 'Shucks, that was the easiest
>> One of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,
>>
>> ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
>> ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
>> ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
>>
>> St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
>> And said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'
>> He is at the Pearly Gates , met by St. Peter himself.
>>
>> St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
>> It is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
>>
>> Here's An entrance examination for everyone.
>> The test is short, but you have to
>> Pass it before you can get into Heaven.'
>>
>> The test is only three questions.
>>
>> First:
>> What two days of the week
>> Begin with the letter T?
>>
>> Second:
>> How many seconds are there in a year?
>>
>> Third:
>> What is God's first name?'
>>
>> Forrest leaves to think the questions over. alv,
>> Tell me your answers.'
>>
>> Forrest replied, "Well the First one -- which two days in the week
>> begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be
>> Today and Tomorrow.'
>>
>> The Saint's eyes opened wide and
>> He exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you
>> do
>> Have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you
>> credit
>> For that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
>>
>> 'How many seconds in a year ?
>> Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk
>> about
>> That, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
>>
>> Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
>> Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
>> seconds In a year?'
>>
>> Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's
>> Got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '
>>
>> 'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.
>> 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
>> Though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to
>> give
>> You credit for that one, too.
>> Let us go on with the third and final question.
>> Can you tell me God's first name'?
>>
>> 'Sure,' Forrest replied,
>> 'it's Andy.'
>>
>> 'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated
>> And frustrated St Peter .
>>
>> 'Ok, I can understand how you
>> Came up with your answers to my first two questions,
>> But just how in the
>> World did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of
>> God?'
>>
>> 'Shucks, that was the easiest
>> One of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,
>>
>> ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
>> ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
>> ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
>>
>> St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
>> And said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'
