OldDog/NewTricks
Well-known member
Mugger
One night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped in front of a well-dressed guy, stuck a gun in his ribs, and demanded, "Give me your money!" The indignant gentleman said, "You can't do this ... I'm a U.S. Senator!" "In that case," said the robber, "Give me MY money!"
100 Dollars
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC, and they deducted $95.00 in taxes.
Politician
A politician, who was rather small-sized, was often derided by an opponent, a tall, well-built man. One day the opponent walked up to him, looked down at him and said loudly, "You know, I could just swallow you up!"
"In that event," said the little fellow, looking up," you would have more brains in your stomach than you'll ever have in your head!"
Why Vote
Tuesday's elections will determine control of the U.S. Senate, the U.S. House of Representatives and governors' offices and statehouses all across America. You have the power to shape the outcome of the elections...but only if you vote.
Remember to vote Tuesday!
One night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped in front of a well-dressed guy, stuck a gun in his ribs, and demanded, "Give me your money!" The indignant gentleman said, "You can't do this ... I'm a U.S. Senator!" "In that case," said the robber, "Give me MY money!"
100 Dollars
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC, and they deducted $95.00 in taxes.
Politician
A politician, who was rather small-sized, was often derided by an opponent, a tall, well-built man. One day the opponent walked up to him, looked down at him and said loudly, "You know, I could just swallow you up!"
"In that event," said the little fellow, looking up," you would have more brains in your stomach than you'll ever have in your head!"
Why Vote
Tuesday's elections will determine control of the U.S. Senate, the U.S. House of Representatives and governors' offices and statehouses all across America. You have the power to shape the outcome of the elections...but only if you vote.
Remember to vote Tuesday!
