DiamondSCattleCo
Well-known member
It never fails.
The sun is a shinin'. The birds are a chirpin'. The sky has never been so blue.
And the Diamond S Cattle Company's haybine is sitting in front of the shop, tore down into a hundred different pieces. At least one grease and oil covered cowboy sitting in front of it, clutching a new bearing like a scared babe clutches his momma's coat, tears of frustration rolling down his cheeks.
Eventually he'll overcome his confusion, and manage to get that ornery old 400 back together again. He'll gather up the tools, throw the left-over parts into the shop, and head out to his happy haying grounds, a smile on his face and joy in his heart.
The sun is still shinin'. The birds may not be chirpin' quite as loud over the roar of the wore-out muffler, but the sky will still be a beautiful blue.
The next two days are hayin' heaven. 50 acres down. 100 acres down. Finally 150 acres of tasty, nutritious green stuff are laying on the ground for his four legged pals to munch on this winter. Another couple days finds the hay cured, dry and ready to roll up.
Then the rain will come.
Not just an ordinary, dance with your lover sprinkle that freshens the ground, but full-out, send-Noah-looking-for-cover-under-his-Arc squalls that'll batter the downed hay and leave the haybine sittin' in a puddle big enough to be named.
We here at the Cowboy Way aren't sure why it happens. Maybe we've done something wrong in a past life. Maybe if we trace our roots back, we'll find an aboriginal rain-maker has managed to climb onto a limb of our family tree. We're just not sure. But we've decided to go with it.
So the Diamond S Cattle Co. is no more. Its been dissolved. Literally. In 6 feet of water.
We're now the Diamond S Rain Makin' Co.
We've noticed for each 50 acres of hay that we knock down, at least 1.5 inches of the wet stuff will fall about 4 days later. It never fails. Its predictable.
And now we're charging for it.
Our rates are reasonable. For every 50 acres of hay that we knock down, you, the farmer of the area, owe us 500 bucks. We feel its pretty cheap for an inch and a half of life-giving water. And since we can't possibly make it rain only on your land, you'll need to collect 500 bucks from each neighbor within a hundred mile radius.
We offer bulk rate discounts too. For each additional 1.5 of inches of rain, we'll need to knock down another 50 acres of hay. That'll cost you and yours an additional 300 bucks.
Whats that? Rain at the end of June is too late? You want it in May? Well the hay is out of season then, and we're smack dab in the middle of fencing season, so an out-of-season tax of 50% should cover it.
Still not sure? Price is little high you figger? How can you possibly put a value on the health of your little 5 dollar per bushel seeds, struggling to stay alive in the arid soil? Think of it as life insurance for your oats. NO, we don't care what variety it is.
We hear you snickering. Y'all figure on getting us to make rain, and then not pony-ing up the cash to pay the bill. How will we take the rain back?
Y'all seem to forget that second cut haying season falls just before the time you're going to want to be combining those healthy little oat seeds. Maybe we'll end up breaking down. MAYBE, by the time we get ourselves fixed up, our second cut will be right smack in the middle of your harvest season.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
Besides, there's only so much room on that arc we built with the left-over haybine pieces. Be a real shame if y'all didn't have a comfy seat.
Rod
I think I'm going to grow rice to feed my critters. Maybe I can market the little beefers to oriental restaurants...
The sun is a shinin'. The birds are a chirpin'. The sky has never been so blue.
And the Diamond S Cattle Company's haybine is sitting in front of the shop, tore down into a hundred different pieces. At least one grease and oil covered cowboy sitting in front of it, clutching a new bearing like a scared babe clutches his momma's coat, tears of frustration rolling down his cheeks.
Eventually he'll overcome his confusion, and manage to get that ornery old 400 back together again. He'll gather up the tools, throw the left-over parts into the shop, and head out to his happy haying grounds, a smile on his face and joy in his heart.
The sun is still shinin'. The birds may not be chirpin' quite as loud over the roar of the wore-out muffler, but the sky will still be a beautiful blue.
The next two days are hayin' heaven. 50 acres down. 100 acres down. Finally 150 acres of tasty, nutritious green stuff are laying on the ground for his four legged pals to munch on this winter. Another couple days finds the hay cured, dry and ready to roll up.
Then the rain will come.
Not just an ordinary, dance with your lover sprinkle that freshens the ground, but full-out, send-Noah-looking-for-cover-under-his-Arc squalls that'll batter the downed hay and leave the haybine sittin' in a puddle big enough to be named.
We here at the Cowboy Way aren't sure why it happens. Maybe we've done something wrong in a past life. Maybe if we trace our roots back, we'll find an aboriginal rain-maker has managed to climb onto a limb of our family tree. We're just not sure. But we've decided to go with it.
So the Diamond S Cattle Co. is no more. Its been dissolved. Literally. In 6 feet of water.
We're now the Diamond S Rain Makin' Co.
We've noticed for each 50 acres of hay that we knock down, at least 1.5 inches of the wet stuff will fall about 4 days later. It never fails. Its predictable.
And now we're charging for it.
Our rates are reasonable. For every 50 acres of hay that we knock down, you, the farmer of the area, owe us 500 bucks. We feel its pretty cheap for an inch and a half of life-giving water. And since we can't possibly make it rain only on your land, you'll need to collect 500 bucks from each neighbor within a hundred mile radius.
We offer bulk rate discounts too. For each additional 1.5 of inches of rain, we'll need to knock down another 50 acres of hay. That'll cost you and yours an additional 300 bucks.
Whats that? Rain at the end of June is too late? You want it in May? Well the hay is out of season then, and we're smack dab in the middle of fencing season, so an out-of-season tax of 50% should cover it.
Still not sure? Price is little high you figger? How can you possibly put a value on the health of your little 5 dollar per bushel seeds, struggling to stay alive in the arid soil? Think of it as life insurance for your oats. NO, we don't care what variety it is.
We hear you snickering. Y'all figure on getting us to make rain, and then not pony-ing up the cash to pay the bill. How will we take the rain back?
Y'all seem to forget that second cut haying season falls just before the time you're going to want to be combining those healthy little oat seeds. Maybe we'll end up breaking down. MAYBE, by the time we get ourselves fixed up, our second cut will be right smack in the middle of your harvest season.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
Besides, there's only so much room on that arc we built with the left-over haybine pieces. Be a real shame if y'all didn't have a comfy seat.
Rod
I think I'm going to grow rice to feed my critters. Maybe I can market the little beefers to oriental restaurants...
Good luck.