I'll be thinking of you on your journey today, ranchwife.

I have found nr's wisdom to be so helpful in these situations. And she is correct in that we have to find acceptance within ourselves for what we do--the choices we have to make are sometimes so hard and how do you know until too late if it was the right one or not? We have to do what we feel is the best at the time with what we know. How great that your father shared some of his innermost feelings with you. He has lived with you for 10 years?

Our situation is not the same, but very similiar. I have to travel to do anything for my father and it gets difficult. I would like to be with him more, but outside of him coming to an Assisted Living place here (and I am working on that) it just isn't going to happen. While I was there, his lady friend informed me that I needed to come THREE times a month to see him. She did that for her parents...etc, etc. Just trying to stir up something. I told them both I could not do that and I was not going to do that. She creates a lot of problems but she is the only one he has there to do anything at all for him, so I just try to get by it. It is getting increasingly difficult. I have to learn how to blow it off better.

My dad was much better on Monday so I left  for home Tuesday morning. Got up at 4 in the morning. Had to sleep for an hour at Colstrip but made it home in time to get my stuff done at work. (Two days worth in half a day-so I was exhausted last night.)

Thank you all for your concern and kind words. My dad will never be well, but he can be better than he was. He has rallied again and will go to the nursing home for physical therapy and then back to the assisted living place. It seems the time is shorter between hospital visits. He has quite a bit of pain and they had to give him morphine, which HE really doesn't like. He told me on Monday they gave him "too much of the damn stuff and it made him woozy", so he was going to do without it on Tuesday. He has always been so tough, it is hard to see him vulnerable. I'm glad I had the time with him. I wanted and needed to get home sooner, but he needed me worse, so I stayed.

Again, my thoughts are with you, ranchwife. Be glad you had your father for 10 years. Is he going to an place with care--assisted living, etc? My dad has adapted amazingly well. He got the Prince award on Valentines Day. My dad a prince?--Never thought it would happen. A tiger maybe, never a prince!!!!