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taking the bear rug down

R

RoperAB

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Joined
Feb 11, 2006
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Location
Alberta
Another good friend just died the other day. He was about 40yo. He was a great guy. He pretty much worked 24/7. Trying to get a head. He wanted to buy the former acreage of his Father who died way to young. You know as hard as he worked he always took the time to help others even if it meant he would have to work all night to make up the difference. He would do stuff like that for strangers.
He always had time to help friends to. He always did his best. Most of the time this was at work because thats all he ever did. He would always go the extra mile. He used to risk his neck. Maybe for the rush? Maybe he thought others would care? Maybe he thought others would remember? Maybe because when you work that hard its the same as a drug.
Well I thought a lot of him but it wasnt because of how hard he worked or pushed himself or allowed others to push him. I think he always thought that if he worked hard enough that he would get to a certain point in life that he could do the things that he wanted to do. Problem is he never lived long enough to get to that point.
One time I did manage to get him to take some time off. We got his girlfriend to dump us off on the riverbank of the Peace River in NE BC. That was a nice trip. We took a little boat and floated about 80 miles to AB. We got a nice bear on that trip. There was still about 5 feet of ice on the banks of that river when we went down it. We camped out on different islands at night to keep the bears from waking a us up. Talk about ducks and geese on that river. I was still hearing their quacking a week after we got back .
Anyway that was the only time that guy took off from work when I knew him. The rest of the time he worked.
Im taking the bear rug down off the wall. Evertime I look at it im going to think of him. Whats the point? Why must I remember? Nobody else will for very long. I know im going to remember though. I remember and dream about my other dead friends and relatives. Even the ones who annoyed me when they were alive still annoy me in my dreams.
Seems like so many of my friends are dead. Im 37yo.
Nobody else remembers, not for very long. Three generations at the most. What difference does it make if I remember. Im nobody. None of us really matter or if we do matter its not going to last. Its all pointless.
Do the right thing. Live each day like its your last because it might actually be. If there is something in life you want to do I think its a good idea not to put it off.
 
RoperAB said:
Another good friend just died the other day. He was about 40yo. He was a great guy. He pretty much worked 24/7. Trying to get a head. He wanted to buy the former acreage of his Father who died way to young. You know as hard as he worked he always took the time to help others even if it meant he would have to work all night to make up the difference. He would do stuff like that for strangers.
He always had time to help friends to. He always did his best. Most of the time this was at work because thats all he ever did. He would always go the extra mile. He used to risk his neck. Maybe for the rush? Maybe he thought others would care? Maybe he thought others would remember? Maybe because when you work that hard its the same as a drug.
Well I thought a lot of him but it wasnt because of how hard he worked or pushed himself or allowed others to push him. I think he always thought that if he worked hard enough that he would get to a certain point in life that he could do the things that he wanted to do. Problem is he never lived long enough to get to that point.
One time I did manage to get him to take some time off. We got his girlfriend to dump us off on the riverbank of the Peace River in NE BC. That was a nice trip. We took a little boat and floated about 80 miles to AB. We got a nice bear on that trip. There was still about 5 feet of ice on the banks of that river when we went down it. We camped out on different islands at night to keep the bears from waking a us up. Talk about ducks and geese on that river. I was still hearing their quacking a week after we got back .
Anyway that was the only time that guy took off from work when I knew him. The rest of the time he worked.
Im taking the bear rug down off the wall. Evertime I look at it im going to think of him. Whats the point? Why must I remember? Nobody else will for very long. I know im going to remember though. I remember and dream about my other dead friends and relatives. Even the ones who annoyed me when they were alive still annoy me in my dreams.
Seems like so many of my friends are dead. Im 37yo.
Nobody else remembers, not for very long. Three generations at the most. What difference does it make if I remember. Im nobody. None of us really matter or if we do matter its not going to last. Its all pointless.
Do the right thing. Live each day like its your last because it might actually be. If there is something in life you want to do I think its a good idea not to put it off.
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RoperAB, I feel for you in the loss of your friend. It is always sad to lose someone, whether friend or relative, that meant a lot to us.

If I were you, I would leave the bear rug hanging. It would be a lasting momento and a tribute to your friend. Whenever a visitor asks you about the rug, you can tell of the memories that it gives you.

A neighbor, who is 83 years old, has a little bunkhouse in his back yard. It is completely furnished with mementos of his life. There is an old closet that has his granddad's coats and hats. This neighbor rode horseback from Nebraska to the Grand Canyon in 1947. He has a few trinkets that were on that trip with him, including a steel mess kit and a machete knife.

My oldest son made a nice art project when he was a senior in high school. It is his self portrait, and a nice picture of him wearing a cowboy hat. It hangs in a spot over a stairway. As providence would have it, the picture is perfectly framed in the small square window of our outside door. As I walk up our sidewalk in the dark, the picture is visible. It reminds me to pray for all three of our children, and this has become a fond habit as I walk up the sidewalk.

My advice is to keep the momentos, and think compassionate thoughts of those who you hold dear.
 
My better judgement tells me to not evan reply, but do to the fact that I have had a real eye opener the last few months and also I'm cleaning grain so I have alot of time to dwell. So hear it goes:

My suggestion is to leave the bear rug up....... Roperab, you need to get your head out of your rearend, quit your whining, not be so selfcentered and start getting a positive attitude..... Along with living there is dieing... And you must remember the positive the fun and good of your friend...
Can you help this man accomplish his dream as a rememberance?
You have to find spiritul peace, Maybe talk to your pastor.......
We all are somebody.... Someones mom, dad, brother, sister... And that is how we will be remembered. And that is my suggestion to be the best family your family has.....
Okay I'm done..... Good luck and you can make a differance.........
 
Roper, Take the rug down. Take it down but don't throw it away. This is your time of grieving. When this time passes you will want that rug back up to remember and cherish the time you had with your friend. You are just starting to grasp the reality of life. The living must go on even though their accomplishments might be only remembered a short time. Everyone is important, but life will go on when we are gone. I really can not put this into words, but look at this like the seeding and then the harvest. The seed from the harvest remains to start the next crop, even though this crop is soon forgotten.
 
Roper,I agree with Clarence,take the rug down but don't get rid of it! You are grieving,and seems to me you've felt down for a few months already. Trust me I know what your feeling,our last year has been particular H@ll,some days you just wonder what the friggin heck will it ever get better.I really don't have an answer for you but need to talk pm...OK.

Sorry about your friend...thats just to darn young to go. :(
 
Sorry about your friend ... I say, do whatever feels right for you at the time. But I agree with others -- if you feel the need to take it down for now, don't throw it away because if you ever change your mind, you won't be able to get that piece of memory and history with your friend back -- something I think you'd regret when your head clears from the grieving.

Take time to grieve, let go, and remember. I'm thinkin your friend would want you to remember the good times and keep the memories that give you comfort -- just giving what you said about him.
 
What happend to your friend? Accident or disease? I'v lost lots of friends and family--never easy--Daughter#2 is fighting lymphoma,she's going to be in ICU while they try a self bone marrow transplant--I'm scared-
 
Roper AB, I too am sorry about your friend. I think you are a bit angry or fustrated about it right now, and that's okay. He certainly was a good
friend to you, or you wouldn't feel so bad, so his life wasn't in vain.
I bet he remembered your trip even moreso than you do, if it was the only
time he ever took off. Be proud that it meant enough to him to spend
time with you and that he actually did it. You were probably very special to him.

I agree with you that if you want to do something, DO it. We never know
what we face each day. We should not put off living today for tomorrow.

Your post has reminded us all of our immortality. And we need reminded from time to time. We only pass this way but once.
 
What they are saying is that a car swerved to avoid a moose and cut in front of my friends truck. My friend swerved into the moose to avoid the car that cut into his lane.
The thing that bothers me the most is the injustice. He deserved a better life. Its like he was cheated.
Its just another example of bad things happening to good people.
Seems like the devil helps his own. Its like everything in this world is upside down. The wrong people seem to get the rewards. No wonder we are not sapposed to judge. If you do, it wont make you happy.
 
Roper first let me say I am sorry for your loss. He was very dear to you and that makes it very hard to understand why.
No wonder we are not sapposed to judge. If you do, it wont make you happy.
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I understand that ALL to well. I have to keep reminding myself that in the end good does win out.
To say only 3 generations will remember us is not right......I can tell you things about many generations back on my mothers side. That was beacuse my Grandmother shared the stories with me, Kaitlyn, and Morgan. You never know that bear rug may effect one of your great great great grandchildren and you and him will be remember.
Please I am trying hard to keep hold of my last straw of feeling I matter......what I am finding is we do. He mattered and you may never know all the lives he touched and changed.
I say fold the rug up put it under your bed untill you miss it. Then you will know its time to go back where it belongs. That may or may not be on your wall ...it could become something else you cant see in the darkness and pain your living in right now.
You and his family are in my prayers.
 
Roper, you have my sympathy on your loss. A good friend of mine close to your friend's age was killed in a car wreck this spring. Your post hits closer to home than you can realize. Life sure ain't fair.


Take the rug down or keep it up as you wish. The important thing to remember is that you are important and can make a difference in this world. Your world will be unsettled for a while. It's a rough thing that sometimes you just have to "cowboy up" to get through it. You're not whining, you're venting, and that's good. You gotta do that or things would just build up until you explode. Feel free to vent here or PM anytime.

Live your life in a way that would make your friend proud. Keep doing the things you enjoyed together. Keep the memory of your friend alive and honor him by reminicing about the "good ol' days". I realize things are really rough right now, but hang in there and it will get better.
 
It always seems that the good folks the short end of the stick....and those that qualify as S 0 B's....you can't get them with a Judgement Day hammer !!!!
 
Sometimes things just don't go the way that we think they should. My sister died at age 38 from ovarian cancer. She was single most of her life, but was married at the time of her death. They had no children. Sandra was a wonderful Christian lady and a fine school teacher, and positively influenced a lot of children's lives. She was full of fun and adventure, and in the course of her short life traveled to all fifty states plus several countries in Europe.

Did she die way too young? Yes. Do we miss her? Very much. Was her few short years spent on Earth worth the effort? You bet. I feel very fortunate to have known her, and especially privileged to have been her brother. Any mementos of her are still displayed, and we have many pictures of her that are often looked at with fond remembrance.

We need to learn to love and let go. She would want us to remember her but not to dwell on the fact that she is no longer with us. We will meet again in Heaven. In the meantime, she would want us to live a full life here on earth.
 
Hey thanks for all the replies. Sorry about the ones of you who have had losses.
Im all right. This was just the latest thing in life that makes me cynical.
I know stuff like this happens all the time/that is what is upsetting. Then there are the other ones like Kolanuraven mentioned.
Its like these drugged up idiots that steal cars/get into a police chase/ crash/ kill a bunch of other people and then walk away without a scratch.
Drunk drivers dont get killed behind the wheel/but they kill other drivers.
In wars its our very best that serve and die. The others find ways to avoid service.
I guess my faith isnt very strong about every dog having its day.
Went over to the place where we used to live. Noticed the path where I used to go from the house to the corral was hardly visible anymore. Then I noticed how big and dug in the regular game/buffalo trails were. Then I got to thinking how insignificant in the big sceme of things the few years that I lived there.
There are still buffalo wallows down there. Tepee rings from years ago. Buffalo bones on the banks of the creek. The years that I lived there was just a pin prick in time.
Then I got looking at the area where im living now. Got remembering the history of the area and about how many people tried and failed to make a go of it. How many times the different ranches changed hands in just the last hundred or so years. I know where a lot of the homesteads were. But if you didnt know what to look or you would never recognise that people lived there. Mostly its just the indentation of where a root celler was. Sometimes its a bit of a shallow basement thats now mostly filled in and grassed over. Mainly if it wasnt for an old friend of mine I wouldnt have a clue about the history of the area. His wife just had a stroke and he cant get around much and I think he is headed for a nurseing home.
Ever read Ecclesiastes? Pretty much spells it out. Haha Im glad I have my horses for distraction. Haha I think im just thinking to much. The more a fellow thinks the worse off we are :lol:
 
I wrote this last night,i felt folks needed to see what life does at times bring us.We can never stop the pain only ease it,with love,hope and understanding.



I Have
(A Life In Progress)



I have dined with a man living in the shadows of a century.
I have shaken the hand of a world famous entertainer.
I have witnessed the smile of a child as the world was falling all around them.
I have opened my eyes early in the morning,just to watch the sun rise.
I have given of my time in hopes of lifelong betterment
I have cried watching the faces of friends,as their souls are devoured by life.
I have held the gift of a newborn baby.
I have experienced the sadness of life becoming death.
I have found the one I love with all my heart.
I have those I love who love me.
I have memories of a father lost to early.
I have felt the hug that only a mother can give.
I have visions of peace blurred by others hate.
I have a passion to create smiles on sad faces.
I have felt the wind in my hair.
I have yet to reach my full potential.
I have never stopped searching for my reason of being.
I have a growing hunger for adventure.
I have more good around me then bad.
I have an appreciation for life,percolating in my heart.
I have but one question for everyone.
I have what i have,what is it you have?
 
You all have the best intentions,but a person grieving has to do just that grieve,go through all the stages,after thats done,then and only then can you move on.

Roper,my friend everything your feeling at the lose of your friend is normal,lifes hard but I guess when it comes down to it..."Its better then the alternative",although sometimes its darn hard to see that.
 

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