Big Muddy rancher
Well-known member
my cousin sent me this. don't know who wrote it but it's funny and darn sure could be true. :lol: :lol:
She's an ugly old cow with a limp and a scur
And she's getting quite long in the toes
There's only a couple of teeth that are left
As for how old, well who really knows?
She's got quite a history and none of it good
Like the year that we had that bad drought
She rolled under a fence and into a ditch
And we worked all day getting her out
We thought that we'd sell her but prices were low
So we kept her around one more year
And wouldn't you know when we gathered that fall
She weaned off an awful big steer
But the next spring she took off through two or three gates
And into a new field of grain
It's amazing how much one old cow can tear up
When you've just had three inches of rain
So we figured that this was the last time for her
And sorted her off to the side
But when sale day came round she was nowhere to be found
And thus she avoided the ride
When we found her next day she was off eating hay
But we didn't have time for her then
We had straw bales to move and a tractor to fix
So we just put her back in a pen
Some jockey came round one day looking for cows
And we made him a fairly cheap deal
On that old cussed cow and he said that was fair
It was plain that he thought it a steal
But when he got closer to take a good look
She tossed her head to the side
And gave him a crack in the ribs with the scur
And the poor fellow thought he had died
Then she stomped on his foot and took off at a run
Cross the creek and into the wood
And the cow jockey groaned as he got to his feet
That the other cow looked just as good
That June we decided to cull the old cow
But she needed to put on some weight
So we penned her up with three yearling steers
Plus four heifers; the old cow made eight
But one of the steers wasn't really a steer
I guess no one counted to two
And a half of a bull is, well, really a bull
And he did what bulls always do
That fall we noticed our swaybacked old cow
Was noticeably bigger around
And surely enough it was positive
When the vet did the ultrasound
When spring came around she laid down in the mud
And out came a calf and some more
As prolapses go this was one for the books
I'd not seen one that big before
I really didn't think that the loader could do it
But we carried her round to the shed
And we pushed and we strained till we got it inside
And we all thought she soon would be dead
But cows can be tough and this one sure was
I guess she was too mean to die
She'd taken her calf through a hole in the fence
To a field we had planted to rye
That fall we got her back into the barn
We were culling her this time for sure
And if you think she looks strange with the cap off her hip
You should see what she did to the door
This old cow could always find trouble
That's one thing she did without fail
And she tangled her switch in a scrubby old tree
And that's why she now has no tail
Well everything comes to an end in its time
The old cow had run out of luck
We shut her up tight and we chained shut the door
And we called for the drover's truck
He backed up to the chute and we opened the gate
And the old cow just walked right inside
The truck driver waved and let out the clutch
And the truck engine sputtered and died
And nothing he did and nothing we tried
Could make that old truck come to life
So he called for a wrecker to come for his truck
And he got a ride home from his wife
And we left the old cow come back off the truck
There are some things you just cannot win
But wouldn't you know she paid back what she owed
The next spring the old cow had twins
We noticed one quarter was swollen
It was clearly not as it should be
And it dried up and soon was as hard as a rock
But she raised those two calves on just three
At some point we couldn't but admire the old cow
She grows on you after awhile
So we finally decided to keep her around
Who says you can't have a pet cow?
She's an ugly old cow with a limp and a scur
And she's getting quite long in the toes
There's only a couple of teeth that are left
As for how old, well who really knows?
She's got quite a history and none of it good
Like the year that we had that bad drought
She rolled under a fence and into a ditch
And we worked all day getting her out
We thought that we'd sell her but prices were low
So we kept her around one more year
And wouldn't you know when we gathered that fall
She weaned off an awful big steer
But the next spring she took off through two or three gates
And into a new field of grain
It's amazing how much one old cow can tear up
When you've just had three inches of rain
So we figured that this was the last time for her
And sorted her off to the side
But when sale day came round she was nowhere to be found
And thus she avoided the ride
When we found her next day she was off eating hay
But we didn't have time for her then
We had straw bales to move and a tractor to fix
So we just put her back in a pen
Some jockey came round one day looking for cows
And we made him a fairly cheap deal
On that old cussed cow and he said that was fair
It was plain that he thought it a steal
But when he got closer to take a good look
She tossed her head to the side
And gave him a crack in the ribs with the scur
And the poor fellow thought he had died
Then she stomped on his foot and took off at a run
Cross the creek and into the wood
And the cow jockey groaned as he got to his feet
That the other cow looked just as good
That June we decided to cull the old cow
But she needed to put on some weight
So we penned her up with three yearling steers
Plus four heifers; the old cow made eight
But one of the steers wasn't really a steer
I guess no one counted to two
And a half of a bull is, well, really a bull
And he did what bulls always do
That fall we noticed our swaybacked old cow
Was noticeably bigger around
And surely enough it was positive
When the vet did the ultrasound
When spring came around she laid down in the mud
And out came a calf and some more
As prolapses go this was one for the books
I'd not seen one that big before
I really didn't think that the loader could do it
But we carried her round to the shed
And we pushed and we strained till we got it inside
And we all thought she soon would be dead
But cows can be tough and this one sure was
I guess she was too mean to die
She'd taken her calf through a hole in the fence
To a field we had planted to rye
That fall we got her back into the barn
We were culling her this time for sure
And if you think she looks strange with the cap off her hip
You should see what she did to the door
This old cow could always find trouble
That's one thing she did without fail
And she tangled her switch in a scrubby old tree
And that's why she now has no tail
Well everything comes to an end in its time
The old cow had run out of luck
We shut her up tight and we chained shut the door
And we called for the drover's truck
He backed up to the chute and we opened the gate
And the old cow just walked right inside
The truck driver waved and let out the clutch
And the truck engine sputtered and died
And nothing he did and nothing we tried
Could make that old truck come to life
So he called for a wrecker to come for his truck
And he got a ride home from his wife
And we left the old cow come back off the truck
There are some things you just cannot win
But wouldn't you know she paid back what she owed
The next spring the old cow had twins
We noticed one quarter was swollen
It was clearly not as it should be
And it dried up and soon was as hard as a rock
But she raised those two calves on just three
At some point we couldn't but admire the old cow
She grows on you after awhile
So we finally decided to keep her around
Who says you can't have a pet cow?