• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

The Rancher

Help Support Ranchers.net:

Mountain Cowgirl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2021
Messages
719
Reaction score
750
Location
NE Oregon Banana Belt
A Rancher named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man introducing himself as Clifford Quency Jones the third, dressed in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the rancher, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the rancher, and says, "You have exactly 2001 cows and calves. 1000 cows and 1001 calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says Bud.

“Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

"No guessing required," answered the rancher. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know sh*t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a band of sheep. Now give me my dog back.”


akbash-sheepdog-guarding-herd-878382.jpg

AND THAT, FOLKS, IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!
 
Last edited:

Latest posts

Top