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Wife Left Me, What do I do?

A

aplusmnt

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2006
Messages
5,914
Location
Southeast Kansas
Ok wife has left me for 5 days to go off to Las Vegas with out me. :( She is on a collegiate Team for Respiratory Therapist that are competing at a National Competition. (Yea I know how did I land a smart one :lol: )

Now I am alone, and having to do all her chores. Any suggestions on how to do this Stuff that she usually does below will be appreciated.

Get kid ready for school

Wash the Clothes

Cook 2 meals a day

Vacuum

Dust

Make the beds

Clean the house

Check heifer about to calve

Morning feeding of cattle

Take kids to Basketball Practice

Work 45 hour full time Job

Work 8 hours part-time for our Business on weekends

Go Check on Grandma in Nursing Home

Help Kids with Homework

Bring me a glass of Tea after hard night of posting on a couple message boards

Killing of the snake we found in the Cellar

Feed the Mules

Light the Pilot light on furnace if it goes out (Sadly to say I can never get it lit :cry: )

Cut my hair

Call our accounts and set up work schedule

Do all billing at end of month

Keep Tax Records.

{b]You now that I think about it I think she deserves 5 days away from here by herself! She might even be deserving an assistant to :lol: [/b]
 
You mean she didn't take the kids with her!!! Oh man, the wife has never left me with the kids for that long, I think she is afraid that I would forget to feed them or something.. Of course they are still so young and need mommy so.... I know the daughter will probably get stuck with just dear old dad one of these days/nights.. I can't wait... Wait, yes I can.
 
First stop is the wall mart. Buy enough to underwear and whatever else they wear to last until the momma gets back. Then stop at McDonald's and buy enough happy meals and big Macs to last a week. Put the food in the fridge and heat in the microwave when needed. Take the trash to the burn pile the day before mom gets home.
Any questions?
 
jigs said:
be a man! call your mommy to help you! :wink:
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I do not care who you are that there is funny! :lol:


Well I got through the first night OK, I sent the little kids (9 year old boy and 11 year old girl) to stay at their Aunts so she could take them to school in morning. And then I made the 16 year old go to work with :)

The girl cooked me dinner before she left she made me a T-Bone steak, mac and cheese and Corn on cob. Pretty darn good. She is turning into quite the cook!

For the house I was thinking about calling one of those Maid Services, you know the ones you see on TV were they send over a Hot 20 something girl in one of those French Maid outfits to dust while you keep an eye on them. :wink: But then I got to thinking I live in Boondocks Kansas and it got me scared thinking about what kind of girl they might send. Probably be some crank head with missing teeth and sunken eyes. So I have decided to just put the cleaning off till the kids get home at 3:30 off the bus and then make them do it :lol:
 
There ya go!! I bet Mom makes them help her some, doesn't she?? Give your 16-yr old a pat on the back for doin' so well in the kitchen. A li'l responsibility goes a long way with kids. They thrive on it.............after all the whining's over with. :?
 
That maid thing is what you have to have. I have one that comes in once a week and works most of the day but she does not cook. The best money I spend every week is to pay that lady that cleans up the house. I don't know what she does but the house is clean.
 
1) Put up a tent in the garden for the kids to camp out, no kids in the house=no mess to clear up.
2) Pile all dirty plates, cups,pots, pans etc on the lawn, hang the dirty clothing on the rotary clothes line, line up naked kids and turn the hose on everything to 'wash up'.
3) Write a note to school excusing the kids due to 'flu (they will have after taking my advise)
4) Bbq over the campfire for all the meals!
I come from a big family, so in reality had to learn early on to take care of myself and siblings so my wife leaves me in charge with a misplaced sense of confidence.
 
Faster horses said:
What a perfect example of what every man should get his wife for
Christmas, Alabama.

A MAID!!!!!!!!!!!!! PERFECT!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!PUTTING IT ON MY LIST RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IT'S THE ONLY THING ON MY LIST!!!!!!!!YIPPEE!!!!!!!! :P
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If you don't have a maid then you need one. Just think of all the things that you can do if you don't have to clean house.
 
nonothing said:
Ok i am lost,what is dust,and vacume?
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
A vacuum is a "tool" that seems to have been made to ONLY fit a woman's hand as I have yet to see a male use one...correctly!! :wink:

A maid??? Yep...could use one myself!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
I told the wife she could get a maid a few years ago, but when I came home early one day and she had 4 people lined up for interviews and all 4 men looked like Chippendale dancers, So I cancelled the Maid idea real quick :lol: Never could figure out why they all had their shirts off for the interview :?
 
aplusmnt said:
I told the wife she could get a maid a few years ago, but when I came home early one day and she had 4 people lined up for interviews and all 4 men looked like Chippendale dancers, So I cancelled the Maid idea real quick :lol: Never could figure out why they all had their shirts off for the interview :?
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aaaaaaaaaaaand......this was a problem because...........????????????????

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
 

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