TimH
Well-known member
>>> >DARWIN AWARDS:
>>> >
>>> >Its that time of year again. As you probably already know, the Darwin
>>> >awards are awarded annually for the most extreme acts (occasionally
>>> >terminal) of stupidity. They are now in for 2004.......
>>> >
>>> >Firstly, the runners-up:
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
>> machine
>>> >and after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
>>> >company. The company, suspecting negligence and sent out one of its men
>> to
>>> >have a look for himself. He tried out the machine and lost a finger.
>>> >The
>>> >chef's claim was approved.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>>> >during
>> a
>>> >blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
>>> >taken
>>> >the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >After stopping for drinks, at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>>> >found that the Twenty mental patients he was supposed to be
>>> >transporting
>>> >to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
>>> >driver
>>> >went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
>>> >ride.
>>> >He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
>>> >staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
>>> >fantasies. The deception was not discovered for three days.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >An American teenager was in the hospital, recovering from serious head
>>> >wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
>>> >injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>>> >close
>>> >he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
>> and
>>> >asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer the man pulled
>>> >a
>>> >gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
>>> >promptly
>>> >provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the
>>> >$20
>>> >bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
>> $15.
>>> >(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
>> committed?).
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
>>> >carrying
>>> >a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "Freeze,
>>> >mother-Stickers. This is a F***-up! For a moment everyone was silent.
>> Then
>>> >the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over
>>> >laughing. It probably saved his life, because he would been about to
>>> >draw
>>> >his gun. He could not have drawn and fired before the thief got him.
>>> >The
>>> >thief ran away and is still at large.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>>> >he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
>>> >booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
>>> >head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
>>> >thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store
>> window
>>> >was made of Plexiglas The whole event was caught on videotape.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
>> her
>>> >purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able
>>> >to
>>> >give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes the
>>> >police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back
>> to
>>> >the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
>> there
>>> >for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
>>> >That's
>>> >the lady I stole the purse from.".
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>>> >Burger
>>> >King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
>>> >cash.
>>> >The clerk turned him down because he said he could not open the cash
>>> >register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
>> clerk
>>> >said they were not available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
>> away.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >In Kentucky two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
>>> >running
>>> >a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pick-up truck. Instead
>>> >of
>>> >pulling the front panel off the machine they pulled the bumper off
>>> >their
>>> >truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home with the chain still
>>> >attached to the machine, with their bumper still attached to the chain
>> and
>>> >with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They
>> were
>>> >quickly arrested.
>>> >
>>> >A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER:
>>> >When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
>>> >Seattle street he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
>>> >at
>>> >the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
>>> >spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
>> to
>>> >steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
>>> >tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
>>> >saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>>> >
>>> >And finally:
>>> > THIS YEAR'S RUNAWAY WINNER: When his 38-calibre revolver failed to
>>> > fire
>>> > at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California,
>>> > would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire
>>> > wonder.
>>> > He peered down the barrel of the gun and tried the trigger again.
>>> > This
>>> > time it worked. :lol: :lol: :lol:
>>> >
>>> >Its that time of year again. As you probably already know, the Darwin
>>> >awards are awarded annually for the most extreme acts (occasionally
>>> >terminal) of stupidity. They are now in for 2004.......
>>> >
>>> >Firstly, the runners-up:
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
>> machine
>>> >and after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
>>> >company. The company, suspecting negligence and sent out one of its men
>> to
>>> >have a look for himself. He tried out the machine and lost a finger.
>>> >The
>>> >chef's claim was approved.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>>> >during
>> a
>>> >blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
>>> >taken
>>> >the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >After stopping for drinks, at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>>> >found that the Twenty mental patients he was supposed to be
>>> >transporting
>>> >to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
>>> >driver
>>> >went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
>>> >ride.
>>> >He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
>>> >staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
>>> >fantasies. The deception was not discovered for three days.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >An American teenager was in the hospital, recovering from serious head
>>> >wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
>>> >injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>>> >close
>>> >he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
>> and
>>> >asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer the man pulled
>>> >a
>>> >gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
>>> >promptly
>>> >provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the
>>> >$20
>>> >bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
>> $15.
>>> >(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
>> committed?).
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
>>> >carrying
>>> >a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "Freeze,
>>> >mother-Stickers. This is a F***-up! For a moment everyone was silent.
>> Then
>>> >the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over
>>> >laughing. It probably saved his life, because he would been about to
>>> >draw
>>> >his gun. He could not have drawn and fired before the thief got him.
>>> >The
>>> >thief ran away and is still at large.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>>> >he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
>>> >booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
>>> >head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
>>> >thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store
>> window
>>> >was made of Plexiglas The whole event was caught on videotape.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
>> her
>>> >purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able
>>> >to
>>> >give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes the
>>> >police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back
>> to
>>> >the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
>> there
>>> >for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
>>> >That's
>>> >the lady I stole the purse from.".
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>>> >Burger
>>> >King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
>>> >cash.
>>> >The clerk turned him down because he said he could not open the cash
>>> >register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
>> clerk
>>> >said they were not available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
>> away.
>>> >
>>> >RUNNER-UP:
>>> >In Kentucky two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
>>> >running
>>> >a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pick-up truck. Instead
>>> >of
>>> >pulling the front panel off the machine they pulled the bumper off
>>> >their
>>> >truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home with the chain still
>>> >attached to the machine, with their bumper still attached to the chain
>> and
>>> >with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They
>> were
>>> >quickly arrested.
>>> >
>>> >A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER:
>>> >When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
>>> >Seattle street he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
>>> >at
>>> >the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
>>> >spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
>> to
>>> >steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
>>> >tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
>>> >saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>>> >
>>> >And finally:
>>> > THIS YEAR'S RUNAWAY WINNER: When his 38-calibre revolver failed to
>>> > fire
>>> > at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California,
>>> > would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire
>>> > wonder.
>>> > He peered down the barrel of the gun and tried the trigger again.
>>> > This
>>> > time it worked. :lol: :lol: :lol:
