Cowpuncher
Well-known member
About a year ago when my Marine son was being reassigned and his wife had been called up for the Iraqi war, it dawned on me that I had never told him some of my innermost thoughts, I wrote him a letter which follows:
Dear Don,
Right now you should be in Europe enjoying a well-earned respite with your family. I was thinking about a lot of you and realized that there are a lot of things that I had taken for granted assuming that you were already aware of them. It seemed to be appropriate to come right out and tell you rather than just assuming you knew.
First, I am extremely proud of you, as is your mother. You have developed into a fine person with good morals and character. Your chosen career is one of which you may be proud. You have progressed well and have the ability to continue to progress if you stay in the Marines for more than twenty years. You have the ability to handle awkward situations with aplomb and without antagonizing people. Most likely, that trait came from your mother's side. Although I probably could have become an officer in the army, I doubt that I had the personality or temperament to have done very well.
Next, I need to tell you that your family is extraordinary. Judi is such a special fine person and you are surely lucky to have had the good fortune to meet at the right time of life. Brad, Kim and Angela are smart, pleasant, courteous, good-looking individuals that we admire more as they grow into maturity. I am sure the children cause concern from time to time, but who doesn't while growing up. I will support them in any honest endeavor they wish to follow.
I hope that I have been a good father. I look back at the years with a few regrets – one is not spending enough time with the family when it seemed that work was more important. It wasn't. I tried to avoid being an unpleasant parent, though I am not sure I always succeeded. I remember the unpleasant times I had as a kid and tried to avoid them. My father was from a different generation and world. I am sure he did his best to raise five kids into adults; however, it seemed like there was a lot of tension and more unpleasantness than needed. I don't think I ever heard him say he was proud of me, but I am sure he was. It would have been nice to hear it.
We have tried not to interfere in you life and to let you do as you wanted. Only when I see what might be a significant problem (such as enlisting in the Army instead of becoming an officer) do I say anything. I hope that you agree that I have not been a busybody messing in a life not mine.
I grew up in a world right out of the depression of the 1930's and while we never lacked for plenty to eat, we lived poor in other ways. I wanted to make sure you and Jen had things that other kids had. I never had a car until I was out of the military. I tried to make sure you had a nice home in nice neighborhood. We always had a nice, maybe not fancy, car. We picked places to live where the neighborhood was upper middle-class and you could grow up without feeling you were the underclass.
Partly through luck, we were able to see a good part of the world while working for an oil company. You have continued this and your children are worldly for their ages. Frankly, you are doing an excellent job of making them into adults.
We lived very frugally for many years – perhaps you don't remember that since we started to become less frugal about the time you would have picked up on it. One of the reasons was that I wanted your mother and I to never be a burden on you or or your sister. Hopefully, we have achieved a level of financial security adequate to ensure this will be the case.
There are no guarantees in life. Your mother is not healthy and there are times that I think I may well not be around as long as I would like. So rather than checking out and leaving things unsaid, I am writing this letter to you now.
With love and respect,
Dad
You don't have to have a son in the Marines to tell your offspring what you really think. Everyone should do it before it is too late.
Dear Don,
Right now you should be in Europe enjoying a well-earned respite with your family. I was thinking about a lot of you and realized that there are a lot of things that I had taken for granted assuming that you were already aware of them. It seemed to be appropriate to come right out and tell you rather than just assuming you knew.
First, I am extremely proud of you, as is your mother. You have developed into a fine person with good morals and character. Your chosen career is one of which you may be proud. You have progressed well and have the ability to continue to progress if you stay in the Marines for more than twenty years. You have the ability to handle awkward situations with aplomb and without antagonizing people. Most likely, that trait came from your mother's side. Although I probably could have become an officer in the army, I doubt that I had the personality or temperament to have done very well.
Next, I need to tell you that your family is extraordinary. Judi is such a special fine person and you are surely lucky to have had the good fortune to meet at the right time of life. Brad, Kim and Angela are smart, pleasant, courteous, good-looking individuals that we admire more as they grow into maturity. I am sure the children cause concern from time to time, but who doesn't while growing up. I will support them in any honest endeavor they wish to follow.
I hope that I have been a good father. I look back at the years with a few regrets – one is not spending enough time with the family when it seemed that work was more important. It wasn't. I tried to avoid being an unpleasant parent, though I am not sure I always succeeded. I remember the unpleasant times I had as a kid and tried to avoid them. My father was from a different generation and world. I am sure he did his best to raise five kids into adults; however, it seemed like there was a lot of tension and more unpleasantness than needed. I don't think I ever heard him say he was proud of me, but I am sure he was. It would have been nice to hear it.
We have tried not to interfere in you life and to let you do as you wanted. Only when I see what might be a significant problem (such as enlisting in the Army instead of becoming an officer) do I say anything. I hope that you agree that I have not been a busybody messing in a life not mine.
I grew up in a world right out of the depression of the 1930's and while we never lacked for plenty to eat, we lived poor in other ways. I wanted to make sure you and Jen had things that other kids had. I never had a car until I was out of the military. I tried to make sure you had a nice home in nice neighborhood. We always had a nice, maybe not fancy, car. We picked places to live where the neighborhood was upper middle-class and you could grow up without feeling you were the underclass.
Partly through luck, we were able to see a good part of the world while working for an oil company. You have continued this and your children are worldly for their ages. Frankly, you are doing an excellent job of making them into adults.
We lived very frugally for many years – perhaps you don't remember that since we started to become less frugal about the time you would have picked up on it. One of the reasons was that I wanted your mother and I to never be a burden on you or or your sister. Hopefully, we have achieved a level of financial security adequate to ensure this will be the case.
There are no guarantees in life. Your mother is not healthy and there are times that I think I may well not be around as long as I would like. So rather than checking out and leaving things unsaid, I am writing this letter to you now.
With love and respect,
Dad
You don't have to have a son in the Marines to tell your offspring what you really think. Everyone should do it before it is too late.
