ALCOHOL WARNINGS

[HAY MAKER]

Alcohol warnings; Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

 

[Juan]

By God as soon as I finish this 6-pack I'll never take another drink!

 

[Tom S]

By God as soon as I finish this 6-pack I'll never take another drink!

Me too!

 

[passin thru]

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are invisible.
(how many time do you see a drunk relieving himself in front of everyone)

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think the cat is stomping his feet the next morning.

 

[HAY MAKER]

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are invisible.
(how many time do you see a drunk relieving himself in front of everyone)

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think the cat is stomping his feet the next morning.

thats two good ones passin thru,ILL have to remember ,especially the one about the cat I got a damn ole tom cat that has gotta have the biggest feet in TX,I call him ROBERT E LEE.............good luck

 

[conan]

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol will make you feel like you you were ate by a coyote and **** off a cliff!!

 

[HAY MAKER]

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol will make you feel like you you were ate by a coyote and s*** off a cliff!!

HAAAAAAAHHHHAAA Add one more good one to the list........good luck

 

[ranchwife]

Oh my ribs.....stop, all of you...laughing too hard....especially at my hubby's expression as he reads these...know he is thinking, "yeah, so..."...has been known to think he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof a time or two!!! :wink: :wink:

 

[passin thru]

Warning: Alcohol may make you worship a porcelin god

 

[ranchwife]

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think "someone" moved your car from where you just KNOW you left it!! :? :?

 

[passin thru]

ranchwife I think you must have seen me in my younger days.

Now I can blame it on age

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

I wish Haymaker had of posted these before my son went off to college. :wink: :cowboy:

 

[Soapweed]

One old cowboy said he had to sell out and quit ranching, because it was interfering with his drinking. :wink:

 

[katrina]

Warning the consumption of alcohol may make you relize the next morning you'd rather chew your arm off than wake the person next to you.

Warning: the cosumption of alcohol, the better they look.