An American, a Scot and a Canadian

[elwapo]

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident.
They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of
Them died before they arrived.
Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred
and opened his eyes.
Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a
beautiful light,
and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of
heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and
said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course
I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I
was back here."
"That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to
the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over
the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his."

 

[Kato]

One day St. Peter decided he needed a break from greeting people at the Pearly Gates. He saw Jesus walking by and asked him if he'd take over for a while. Jesus of course said he would.

The next person to arrive at the gates was an elderly man with an Italian accent. "Hello", said Jesus, "Welcome to Heaven".

"Why thank you very much." the man replied. "Quite frankly, I'm glad to be here. My life was very difficult, and I'm ready for a rest."

"Oh my," said Jesus. "Why was your life difficult?"
"Well, I was a carpenter all my life, and worked very hard."
"I can identify with that." said Jesus.
"I had a son, and then I lost him." the old man told Jesus.
Jesus looked at him with great interest.
"Some people came and took him from me" continued the old man.
Jesus leaned forward with a fascinated look on his face.
"Then, when I thought he had died, like a miracle, I got him back!".
Jesus now looked at him with amazement.
"Father?" Jesus said as he looked deep into the old man's eyes.
The old man looked back at him ...... "Pinnochio?"