Soapweed
Well-known member
REJECTED, by Jim Mogle,
from the book THE WORKS OF JIM MOGLE, compiled by Brian Delashmutt, December 1987
A stranger stood at the gates of Hell
And the Devil himself had answered the bell.
He looked him over from head to toe
And said, "My friend, I'd like to know
What you have done in the line of sin
To entitle you to come within."
Then Franklin D., with his usual guile,
(a line is missing, ending with * smile *)
"When I took charge in thirty-three
A nation's faith was mine," said he,
"I promised this and I promised that,
And I calmed them down with a fireside chat.
I spent their money on fishing trips,
And fished from the decks of their battleships.
I gave them jobs on the WPA
And raised their taxes and took it away.
I raised their wages and closed their shops.
I killed their pigs and burned their crops.
I double-crossed both old and young
And still the fools my praises sung.
I brought back beer and what do you think?
I taxed it so high they couldn't drink.
I furnished money with government loans;
When they missed a payment, I took their homes.
When I wanted to punish the folks, you know,
I put my wife on the radio.
I paid them to let their farms lie still
And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
I curtailed crops when I felt real mean
And shipped in corn from the Argentine.
When they'd start to worry, stew, and fret
I'd get them to start chanting the alphabet.
With the AAA and the NLB
The WPA and the CCC.
With these many units I got their goats,
And still I crammed it down their throats.
My workers worked with the speed of snails
While the taxpayers chewed their fingernails.
When the organizers needed dough,
I closed up the plants for the C.I.O.
I ruined jobs and I ruined health,
And I put the screws on the rich men's wealth.
And some, who couldn't stand the gaff,
Would call on me, and how I'd laugh.
When they got too strong on certain things,
I'd pick up and leave for old Warm Springs.
I ruined their country, their homes and then
I placed the blame on 'Nine Old Men'."
Now Franklin talked both long and loud,
And the Devil stood and his head he bowed.
At last he said, "Let's make it clear.
You'll have to move, you can't stay here.
For once you mingle with this mob,
I'll have to hunt myself a job."
from the book THE WORKS OF JIM MOGLE, compiled by Brian Delashmutt, December 1987
A stranger stood at the gates of Hell
And the Devil himself had answered the bell.
He looked him over from head to toe
And said, "My friend, I'd like to know
What you have done in the line of sin
To entitle you to come within."
Then Franklin D., with his usual guile,
(a line is missing, ending with * smile *)
"When I took charge in thirty-three
A nation's faith was mine," said he,
"I promised this and I promised that,
And I calmed them down with a fireside chat.
I spent their money on fishing trips,
And fished from the decks of their battleships.
I gave them jobs on the WPA
And raised their taxes and took it away.
I raised their wages and closed their shops.
I killed their pigs and burned their crops.
I double-crossed both old and young
And still the fools my praises sung.
I brought back beer and what do you think?
I taxed it so high they couldn't drink.
I furnished money with government loans;
When they missed a payment, I took their homes.
When I wanted to punish the folks, you know,
I put my wife on the radio.
I paid them to let their farms lie still
And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
I curtailed crops when I felt real mean
And shipped in corn from the Argentine.
When they'd start to worry, stew, and fret
I'd get them to start chanting the alphabet.
With the AAA and the NLB
The WPA and the CCC.
With these many units I got their goats,
And still I crammed it down their throats.
My workers worked with the speed of snails
While the taxpayers chewed their fingernails.
When the organizers needed dough,
I closed up the plants for the C.I.O.
I ruined jobs and I ruined health,
And I put the screws on the rich men's wealth.
And some, who couldn't stand the gaff,
Would call on me, and how I'd laugh.
When they got too strong on certain things,
I'd pick up and leave for old Warm Springs.
I ruined their country, their homes and then
I placed the blame on 'Nine Old Men'."
Now Franklin talked both long and loud,
And the Devil stood and his head he bowed.
At last he said, "Let's make it clear.
You'll have to move, you can't stay here.
For once you mingle with this mob,
I'll have to hunt myself a job."
