Well it was'nt hard to keep ole elmo on the right side of the river........my plan this trip,was to get a limousine bull moved south,take a tractor,I like to chisel my fields in winter,gives me a jump on spring planting and see a new group of hunters,and just maybe time permitting, do a little hunting,did'nt take elmo long to change my plans..........but first things first,we got started early bout daybreak,loaded the bull then the tractor,misc. gear tools,and of course elmos George Dickel........here boy take a lil snort of this Dickel elmo said,...hitting it a lil early aint you elmo, suns barely up ?
early????????? dang boy you gotta learn how ta live,there aint nuthin finer than black coffee with a shot of whiskey in it,ceptin maybe a good woman ta share it with.
besides ole doc Mitchell perscribed this for me,few shots a few times a day exzactly what he said.
I dont think what you do to a bottle of whiskey,is what doc is talking about.........never mind boy that ole quack is about half senile anyway,make sure we get all my gear loaded elmo responded as he was loading his gear in the pickup.......hey whats all these can goods elmo ? stuff ta eat boy,dont mean to rile you none but,I still feel a mite pekid from that last batch of stuff you called stew.
Had me running like one of those gringo tourists on the mexican side of the river that wuz dumb enough to drink the water,I got us some good stuff look at this........Mrs Kirbys canned beef stew,I said ?
Well put it in the truck and lets get ta heading south elmo said......we are burning daylite boy,and turn the heater on,these damn hills can get cold I think me and you need to spend more time south,be nice and warm down there along that ole river with a good mesquite fire burning, damn boy I can already smell that mesquite burning,where is Rooster ? I thought you said he was gonna haul that blue tractor fer us? He will be along elmo and Im sure he still knows the way,we need to get this bull south.......lets ride.
The ride down to Zapata was uneventful weather was nice and the trailer was pulling good,elmo slept most of the way,snored most of the way I should say,but right on time just outside of Zapata he opened one eye got this half smile on his face and said,I will buy you the biggest steak and all the good whiskey you need to wash it down with at oso negro's tonite boy, whata you say ?
I told you elmo, No Mexico,I gotta meet some hunters early in the morning and we still gotta get this bull to the river place,if Rooster is there with the tractor,I got about two days of chiseling to do,well damn boy what am I gonna do two days elmo asked......you're gonna do what we had planned,remember that wore out old relic you call a 30-30 ? hunting outa be good and we could sure use the venison,still alot of winter left.
Why hell boy I can get us a deer in the morning,have em on ice by 10 and me and you can be drinking carta blanca's by noon........Nope forget it elmo you gave me your word we were gonna work and stay on the right side of the river,that's right boy,I did and as far as Im concerned mexico is the right side of the river,sometimes..............
Yeah it's that sometimes that worries me I replied,about that time we were pulling into the ranch and got the bull unloaded,that old camp house looked mighty inviting after a long days drive,nothing special no electricity or indoor plumbing but still warm and dry and a decent place to unroll your bed roll, elmo was still talking about matamoros when I fell to sleep.
The next morning the east sky was dimly lit when that ole coot started hollering
Damn I never heard snoring like that in my life elmo said,ya snored loud enuff ta knock the paint off the walls,no wonder you are single,and rooster aint no better he showed up bout midnite,com'on I got breakfast ready,good I said after breakfast yall run that bull down to the river and I will get to plowin,then what? elmo said,..hunt I replied,remember elmo 4 legged deer?
So I get started with farming chores Rooster is gonna see the new hunters and then head back to the Hill Country and elmo is hunting...........
About noon elmo comes driving into the field,lunch time he hollers and as soon as I get close to elmo I know something Is wrong,he is shaking his head and has a dazed look in his eyes.
My damn ears are ringing like the liberty bell elmo said,well what happened elmo,I heard you shoot,did you hit something? well sez elmo I was fixin to go hunting when nature called,so Im sittin in the outhouse reading a 3 month old paper when I saw a pretty damn good buck,moseying right along just like he had good sense,luckily I had my ole 30-30 close at hand,so I slowly pushed the door open got him in my sights when I pulled that trigger that ole buck folded faster'n a Arkansa preacher can spot a counterfeit quater,bout that time I realized,that 30-30 is pretty dang loud when you are cooped up in a outhouse,maybe I better see if ole doc Mitchell can fix me up ?
Yes I suspect he can,wheres your buck ? wha???whats that you say ???where's your deer elmo I hollered ? Oh the buck got him hanging in that ole mesquite tree,damn my ears hurt......sure enough ole elmo had a nice 7 point gutted and hanging,I went to work on it while elmo sat around the camp fire shaking his head,and sticking his fingers in his ears,hate to say it but I believe that ear ringing kept ole elmo close to camp for the next two days.
So all in all the trip was quiet,I got some work done,elmo got some venison and ole doc Mitchell got a kick outa telling everyone in town,if elmo had'nt been constipated he never would have hit that buck.
good luck
early????????? dang boy you gotta learn how ta live,there aint nuthin finer than black coffee with a shot of whiskey in it,ceptin maybe a good woman ta share it with.
besides ole doc Mitchell perscribed this for me,few shots a few times a day exzactly what he said.
I dont think what you do to a bottle of whiskey,is what doc is talking about.........never mind boy that ole quack is about half senile anyway,make sure we get all my gear loaded elmo responded as he was loading his gear in the pickup.......hey whats all these can goods elmo ? stuff ta eat boy,dont mean to rile you none but,I still feel a mite pekid from that last batch of stuff you called stew.
Had me running like one of those gringo tourists on the mexican side of the river that wuz dumb enough to drink the water,I got us some good stuff look at this........Mrs Kirbys canned beef stew,I said ?
Well put it in the truck and lets get ta heading south elmo said......we are burning daylite boy,and turn the heater on,these damn hills can get cold I think me and you need to spend more time south,be nice and warm down there along that ole river with a good mesquite fire burning, damn boy I can already smell that mesquite burning,where is Rooster ? I thought you said he was gonna haul that blue tractor fer us? He will be along elmo and Im sure he still knows the way,we need to get this bull south.......lets ride.
The ride down to Zapata was uneventful weather was nice and the trailer was pulling good,elmo slept most of the way,snored most of the way I should say,but right on time just outside of Zapata he opened one eye got this half smile on his face and said,I will buy you the biggest steak and all the good whiskey you need to wash it down with at oso negro's tonite boy, whata you say ?
I told you elmo, No Mexico,I gotta meet some hunters early in the morning and we still gotta get this bull to the river place,if Rooster is there with the tractor,I got about two days of chiseling to do,well damn boy what am I gonna do two days elmo asked......you're gonna do what we had planned,remember that wore out old relic you call a 30-30 ? hunting outa be good and we could sure use the venison,still alot of winter left.
Why hell boy I can get us a deer in the morning,have em on ice by 10 and me and you can be drinking carta blanca's by noon........Nope forget it elmo you gave me your word we were gonna work and stay on the right side of the river,that's right boy,I did and as far as Im concerned mexico is the right side of the river,sometimes..............
Yeah it's that sometimes that worries me I replied,about that time we were pulling into the ranch and got the bull unloaded,that old camp house looked mighty inviting after a long days drive,nothing special no electricity or indoor plumbing but still warm and dry and a decent place to unroll your bed roll, elmo was still talking about matamoros when I fell to sleep.
The next morning the east sky was dimly lit when that ole coot started hollering
Damn I never heard snoring like that in my life elmo said,ya snored loud enuff ta knock the paint off the walls,no wonder you are single,and rooster aint no better he showed up bout midnite,com'on I got breakfast ready,good I said after breakfast yall run that bull down to the river and I will get to plowin,then what? elmo said,..hunt I replied,remember elmo 4 legged deer?
So I get started with farming chores Rooster is gonna see the new hunters and then head back to the Hill Country and elmo is hunting...........
About noon elmo comes driving into the field,lunch time he hollers and as soon as I get close to elmo I know something Is wrong,he is shaking his head and has a dazed look in his eyes.
My damn ears are ringing like the liberty bell elmo said,well what happened elmo,I heard you shoot,did you hit something? well sez elmo I was fixin to go hunting when nature called,so Im sittin in the outhouse reading a 3 month old paper when I saw a pretty damn good buck,moseying right along just like he had good sense,luckily I had my ole 30-30 close at hand,so I slowly pushed the door open got him in my sights when I pulled that trigger that ole buck folded faster'n a Arkansa preacher can spot a counterfeit quater,bout that time I realized,that 30-30 is pretty dang loud when you are cooped up in a outhouse,maybe I better see if ole doc Mitchell can fix me up ?
Yes I suspect he can,wheres your buck ? wha???whats that you say ???where's your deer elmo I hollered ? Oh the buck got him hanging in that ole mesquite tree,damn my ears hurt......sure enough ole elmo had a nice 7 point gutted and hanging,I went to work on it while elmo sat around the camp fire shaking his head,and sticking his fingers in his ears,hate to say it but I believe that ear ringing kept ole elmo close to camp for the next two days.
So all in all the trip was quiet,I got some work done,elmo got some venison and ole doc Mitchell got a kick outa telling everyone in town,if elmo had'nt been constipated he never would have hit that buck.
good luck
With Elmo on Doc's whiskey prescription, we're all glad he didn't shoot YOU instead of a buck. 