Chinese Proverbs

[ranch hand]

Chinese Proverbs
Witty Wall Sayings for Bathroom Walls


Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

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Man who run in front of car get tired.

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Man who run behind car get exhausted.

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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

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Man with one chopstick go hungry.

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Man who scratch ash should not bite fingernails.

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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

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Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

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[ranchwife]

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
very good!!! :wink:

 

[Hanta Yo]

I'm sure these have been posted in the past...I'm REVIVING them....

An Old Farmer's Advice :

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,
you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,
watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.


Here's another:

PONDERISMS
>>
>>* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people
>>die
>>of natural causes.
>>
>>* Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing
>>a
>>weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of
the
>>ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
>>
>>* The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
>>replacement.
>>
>>* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
>>
>>* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
>>
>>* Life is sexually transmitted.
>>
>>* Health is merely the slowest possible rate a which one can die.
>>
>>* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
>>
>>* Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but
you
>>still
>>can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
>>
>>* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying
>>of
>>nothing.
>>
>>* Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks
>>about seeing UFOs like they used to?
>>
>>* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>>
>>* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to
>>criticism.
>>
>>* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is
>>weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>>
>>* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
a
>>whole
>>box to start a campfire?
>>
>>* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze
>>these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>>
>>* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat
>>the next thing that comes outta its butt."
>>
>>* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't
>>point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>>
>>* Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are
>>going to look up there anyway?
>>
>>* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't
>>he just buy dinner?
>>
>>* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>>
>>* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
>>
>>* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at
>>you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
>>window?
>>
>>
>>* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?
>>
>>* Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
>>
>>

 

[ranchwife]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
:nod: :nod: :nod:
:wink: :wink:

 

[greg]

One I remember that made sence to me--If yu don't learn to laugh at trouble,yu won't have anything to laugh about when you're old.