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Church Humor

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Soapweed

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
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Location
northern Nebraska Sandhills
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
> One child answered, "Mary."
> The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
> A little kid said, "Verge."
> Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
> The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n'
Mary.''
>
>
>
> ***********
> KIDS IN CHURCH
> 3-year-old, Reese:
> "Our Father, Who does art in
> heaven, Harold is His name.
> Amen."
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> A little boy was overheard praying:
> "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
> I'm having a real good time like I am."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
> They were ready to discuss the last one.
> The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
> Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
> "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> After the christening of his baby brother in church,
> Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
> His father asked him three times what was wrong.
> Finally, the boy replied,
> "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
> Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer
> for several evenings at bedtime,
> she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
> Finally, she decided to go solo.
> I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
> each word right up to the end of the prayer:
> "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
> "but deliver us some E-mail.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> One particular four-year-old prayed,
> "And forgive us our trash baskets
> as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to
> church service,
> "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
> One bright little girl replied,
> "Because people are
> sleeping."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together
> in church.
> Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
> Finally, his big sister had had enough.
> "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
> "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
> Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
> "See those two men standing by the door?
> They're hushers."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
> The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
> Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
> "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
> 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
> Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> A father was at the beach with his children
> when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
> grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
> where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
> "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
> "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
> The boy thought a moment and then said,
> "Did God throw him back down?"
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
> six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
> "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
> "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
> The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all
> these people to dinner?"
 

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