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College Football Scouting Report

M

Mike

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Feb 10, 2005
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Location
Montgomery, Al
It has finally arrived -- the 2011 football scouting report. The following is currently making the rounds of Division 1 football coaches:


Wayfron P. Jackson:
6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years.

Loves rap music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet. Currently holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron can print his complete name. Signed with Tennessee.


Quinticious Jenkins:
6' 3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, N.C.

Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Signed with Auburn.


Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell:
6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back. >From Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well.

Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick." Signed with the University of Houston.

Woodrow Lee Washington:
6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 4th generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children.

Mother claims Woodrow and child No. 9 have same father. He has a manslaughter trial pending, but feels he will be found innocent because: "The dude said somethin' bad 'bout my Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20/20. Signed with the University of Oklahoma.

Willie "Night Train" Smith:
6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old.

Thinks the "N" on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but still meets this school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing No. 32 jersey since it matches his score on his SAT's. Signed with the University of Alabama.

Tyrone "Python" Peoples:
6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges.

Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but was also willing to sign with us. Likes wild women and red Cadillac's. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company. Signed with University of Miami.

Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali:
6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball under the name Sylvester Lee Jones until he discovered religion.

Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville. Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words, either.) Signed with the University of Florida.

Note: College track coaches intend to use several of the above signees in their track programs. However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, the NCAA has now agreed to use a burglar alarm.
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looked like a cornhusker portfolio to me....

Jonny rodgers....peters brothers.... ah, the tradition
 
jigs said:
looked like a cornhusker portfolio to me....

Jonny rodgers....peters brothers.... ah, the tradition
Click to expand...

What did the Peters brothers do? I could bring up a string of K-St. boys with rap sheets - nobody would of ever heard of them because they weren't worth a crap on the field, either. Do you really want to go there, Jiggsy?
 
Sandhusker said:
jigs said:
looked like a cornhusker portfolio to me....

Jonny rodgers....peters brothers.... ah, the tradition
Click to expand...

What did the Peters brothers do? I could bring up a string of K-St. boys with rap sheets - nobody would of ever heard of them because they weren't worth a crap on the field, either. Do you really want to go there, Jiggsy?
Click to expand...


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:

What Scott Baldwin did doesn't count, as it was AFTER his career as a Husker, plus, he'll pay the price for the rest of his life.
 
if NU is supposed to be the crown jewel of NCAA football, shouldn't they be held to a higher regard?? come on , the self proclaimed greatest fans know that the hoodlums and convicts is what made nu so great... Dr tom went to thuggery to get his team a national title....
 
what we have is pride. we love our team through thick and thin...let NU have a decade like we did in the 70s or 80s and that sell out record will die, and every one of those fair weather fans will be calling for the head of tom, bo , and anyone else in the organization....
huskers are the WORST fans. they are lumped in with mizzou and cu....
 
I guess you can call it "pride", if that makes you Purple Pukes feel better. Most folks call it something far different.

Tell you a little secret, Jiggsy: The Big 10 conference is HAPPY and THRILLED to have us coming on board. Watched the College football spring practice show on Big 10 TV last night...they can't say enough good things about the campus, the facilities, the staff, and the fans just 90 miles north of Memorial Stadium South.

When I took Daughters #1 and #2 on their UNL college visit last month, the excitement is in the air in Lincoln. Students, faculty, and administration are all excited to be part of the Big 10. My oldest daughter will be a part of the first class to be entirely in the Big 10 conference from start to finish, and I couldn't be happier for her!

We have a tough schedule next fall, but as Bo said in his interview last night, Nebraska isn't just playing them, they are playing Nebraska.
 
it won't be long, and the big 10 will feel the same about NU as the big 12 did.... you guys went from second tit to 4th tit , but I wish you well, but mostly, I wish you just hurry up and leave.
 
jigs said:
I wish you well, but mostly, I wish you just hurry up and leave.
Click to expand...

I reckon I'd feel the same way if my team had had their azz handed to them as many times as Nebraska handed K-State's to them.....spend the crumbs Texass deigns to give you wisely.....
 
13 since 1903. Pretty bad when the sheep and hogs are more attractive than the co-eds, hence all the (ahem) interest in Livestock Judging. :shock:

We're talking about College FOOTBALL, Jiggsy. But, like a typical liberal, you felt threatened enough to try to change the subject to where you feel more, shall we say, comfortable? :wink:
 
well, yes, we were talking Football and you brought up Nebraska and dominance, so I brought up a similarly irrelevant topic....
 

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