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Couldn't Resist Jersey Lilly

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Northern Rancher said:
How many barel racers does it take to change a light bulb.

One-she just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around her.
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :clap:
 
Back in college I was president of the ag fraternity. So we had this one.

How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb?



101

one to change the bulb and 100 to wear the tshirts commemorating the event.
 
I recieved this one in an e-mail awhile back
How Many Christians does it take to Change a Lightbulb?

As we all smile at ourselves:

CHARISMATICS: Only 1 – Hands are already in the air.

PENTECOSTALS: 10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

PRESBYTERIANS: None – Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

ROMAN CATHOLICS: None, they only use candles.

BAPTISTS: At least 15 – One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

EASTERN RITE CATHOLICS: Don't know yet. They're still waiting for permission from Rome to change the bulbs.

EASTERN ORTHODOX: None. Orthodoxy never changes, and, in addition to burning candles like the RCs, they use oil-burning lamps. Electricity is for those Gregorian calendar-using, liberal ecumenist jurisdictions.

ANGLICANS: Eight. One to call the electrician and six to say how much they liked the old one better. Plus one dissenter saying they should steal the RC's candles.

ANGLO-CATHOLICS: At least eight as well: crucifer, torch-bearers, thurifer, boat-boy, sub-deacon, deacon and priest carrying the new bulb on a silk pillow…

EPISCOPALEANS: 3 – One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

MORMONS: 5 – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

JEHOVAHS WITNESSES: None, too busy knocking on doors telling everyone else they have the wrong lights.

UNITARIANS: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

METHODISTS: Undetermined – Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or a dim bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

NAZARENES: 6 – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

LUTHERANS: None – Lutherans don't believe in change.

AMISH: What's a light bulb?

JEWS: Where's Jacob's ladder when you need it?

UUNBELIEVERS: None, they'd rather sit in the dark
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I couldn't help myself. Sorry Ladies :wink: :shock: :twisted:



Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one
else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even
know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the
dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it
out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact
that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But
if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS
LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on
to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND
UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT
BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT
THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES
OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE
HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS... I'm sorry...what did
you ask me?
 
How many Irish does it take to change a light bulb?










3 One to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room starts spinning!
 
How many cowboys to change a lightbulb?





5....one to do the job......and 4 to sing about it....forever....and ever....and ever....and ever....






Why does it take 4 women to change a bulb






BECAUSE IT DOES!!!!!
 
I absolutly love this - - - -so much better than some of the gripes I have read - - - keep it going we all need a little break!
 
How many bronc riders does it take to change a light bulb?


We'll never know...they're too busy hangin on for dear life.

Now..on the other hand....bull riders ....how many? Two....but they hafta be on bulls that turn in oposite directions. One to unscrew the old one, and one to screw in the new one.
 
Q: How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go "Yeeeee-Hah !" and throw his hat in the air.
 

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