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DENTURE STORIES

N

nr

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People on a British gardening forum I'm on are currently sharing their funny denture experiences (which has nothing to do with gardening and just shows how far afield we can get). I hope you laugh as much as my hubby and I did.
....
"We were out in a boat sea fishing and one of the lads sneezed as he was reeling a fish in and his teeth shot out of his mouth Yes you got it straight into the sea the rest of the lads were curled up in laughter.
Shortly after when things had calmed down Roy got a good size cod so for a laugh he took his teeth out and put them in the cods mouth and shouted " here look at this this cods got someones teeth in its mouth", the lad who,s teeth had went over the side ran straight over and grabbed them out of the fishes mouth and put them straight into his mouth, took them back out and said " agh s**t there not mine mine" and threw  them over the side."

................................

"If it makes you feel any better, a friend was at a swimming gala in the spectators gallery cheering her son on in his race when her denture fell out and into the backcombed coiffure of the woman below. My friend just didn't have the courage to ask for it back and we have spent a good few hillarious moments wondering what happened when the woman discovered it. 

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I was sat on the back seat of the bus. I had to, the rest was pretty full. On the other side of that long seat was a bloke 50+ who had one of those sudden sneezes (we all get from time to time) and his dentures went flying out of his mouth and hit the back of the head of the woman in front of him, then landed on the floor.

'Thowwy' he said to her, dying of embarrassment whilst he picked up the set and replaced them in his mouth.

Yuk, was my thought about the state of the floor of the bus. 

................................


I have just finished puting my spuds in a patch that has not been used for a few year. I got a tomato seed under my dentures and for them that like me know its like having half a building brick in there. So i tried to pick it out but it had gone into a small resess and i could not get at it so i decided to flush it out with the hose..........Now this is where it all went wrong, i turned the hose on to wash it out but did not know it was on blast and my teeth were in the palm of my hand and shot off about 20ft into the middle of the potato bed which was at its peak,

so off i went to find my teeth crawling along the rows and every now and then popping up to make sure no one was watching and being careful not to kneel on them. I found them and looked up to see if anyone was there, the coast was clear so up i come out of the tattie bed with teeth in hand. turnrd and there was the two biggest pains of my life standing there
( aged 78 and 74 ) laughing their heads off.
In unison they said " you tight barsteward, buy a garden spade)

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My Dad and I had just left the yard headed for the pasture. Dad had grabbed us each an apple before we left. Right behind the house is the first gate to open which has an electric wire running through it. Well Dad just bit into his apple to hold it while he opened the gate but got a mean shock off a big Speedrite fencer and spit his apple out teeth and all. :D
 
Working at a dental office I can tell a million of these...

Lady came into the office to get her denture relined. She told me that they were her mother's and when she died just before they closed the casket she had the mortician take her mom's teeth so she (the lady) could use them... :shock:
 
Me too Katrina....you see and hear sooooooo much while workin in a dental office. I could tell some hilarious ones...and some down right gross ones.

We too had someone come in with someone elses dentures wantin a reline .... haha too funny.
 
Before I got into ranching I worked for the county hwy dept, It was around the first of the year and a guy I worked with went to some friends home out of town for a party, well he had to much to drink and needed to stop on way home to get rid of some of it ?? Next morning he asked his wife where his teeth were ??? You guessed it, they found them frozen on to side of road, he even told us all about it ?? 101
 
I was searching for a false teeth story and didn't find it, but came across this gem from the past.

This story was told about one of the local veterinarians. It seems he had just retired for the night when the telephone rang. He answered the call, and a frantic lady said, "Doctor, my two dogs are stuck together, and I don't know how to get them apart."

He advised, "Get a five gallon bucket of water and dump it on them. That should solve the problem."

A few minutes later, the phone rang again, and he once more answered the call. The same lady was on the other end, and her voice was even more frantic as she wailed, "Doctor, it's not working. What can I do?"

The veterinarian said, "Well, grab on to both of them and drag them over by the telephone. Hang up, and I'll call you back. When the phone rings, it will solve the problem."

She asked, "Are you sure that will work?"

He growled, "It should, it's worked for me twice already tonight."
 
When our eldest was three his great-grandma was here for a summer long visit.
Grandma Ann had emphysema from living with a smoking husband and had quite a cough.

One day she coughed so hard her dentures flew out and our boy came screaming home telling us that Grandma had coughed her teeth out.


BTW, that was a keeper Soapweed. :lol:
 
The year I was a junior in high school, we had a thirty mile bus ride from Merriman to Gordon. The bus driver had owned a truck for many years and hauled cattle as his occupation. He had sold the cattle truck, and thought he'd kick back and do something easier, like haul kids instead of cattle. Boy, was he in for a rude awakening.

Ol' Louie just didn't get along with kids very well. The more the youngsters would act up, the more he'd chew them out and holler back from his driver's seat. One day, he was reading the riot act when all of a sudden the silence was deafening. Everyone looked up to see why he had quit talking. There on the dirty aisle floor lay his false teeth. Louie kept on driving, but reached down to rescue his choppers. He got out his handerchief, wiped them off pretty good, and popped them back in his mouth. :?
 
When I was in grade 9 I had a social studies teacher who was a very tall, large, balding man that could get extremely excited about the subject matter. On one occasion he got himself worked into such a lather over the `current events` discussion we were having that his teeth flew out of his mouth and smack onto the notebook pages of the girl sitting front row center. Silence reined for a moment as Mr. Bolin`s face and balding pate turned bright red. He then reached down and picked his teeth of the mortified students pages, saying "ekthkooth me, I believe thothe are mine"
 

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