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European Commission

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Well-known member
Feb 13, 2005
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> European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
> be
> the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
> the other possibility.
> As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
> spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
> plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> make
> the sivil servants jump with joy.
> The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
> konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
> fotograf 20% shorter.
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
> ben a deterent to akurate speling.
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
> disgrasful and it should go away.
> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
> "z" and "w" with "v".
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
> "ou"
> and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
> forst plas.
It seems that a young man volunteered for military service during World
War II.

He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to
Pensacola Naval Air Station, skipping recruit training.

The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the
base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly shot down 6
Japanese fighter planes.

Then climbing up to 20,000 feet, he found 9 more Japanese planes and
shot them all down as well.

Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the nearby
carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck.

He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain.
Saluting smartly he said,

"Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"

The captain turned around, bowed politely, and replied, "You make onry
one velly, velly selious mistake."
Those were both hilarious! :lol: :lol:
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
Ok..I had to read that outloud to hubby...before I was thru, I vuz spikin gurman!!!!!

that is...in between peels of laughter!!!!!!!!!!

ZO! Yu zink zat iz humeuz - EH? Vell - ve no var you lif! Do yu haf yu papus mit yu? Ve haf oua oduz, yu no! If yu vas makin choks off oua churmin lankvitch - yu iss in BEEK Trubl! Ve mus zee yo ufishul papus - zuna rada dan latu! Oua leda vichs to zee yu - - imejutly! Kum vit me!