>
> European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
> be
> the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
> the other possibility.
>
> As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
> spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
> plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> make
> the sivil servants jump with joy.
>
> The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
> konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
> fotograf 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
> ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
> disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
> "z" and "w" with "v".
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
> "ou"
> and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
> forst plas.
>
> European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
> be
> the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
> the other possibility.
>
> As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
> spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
> plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> make
> the sivil servants jump with joy.
>
> The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
> konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
> fotograf 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
> ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
> disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
> "z" and "w" with "v".
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
> "ou"
> and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
> forst plas.
>