Flat Brimmed Hat and Bull Durham Barn

[Older Whiskey]

Flat Brimmed Hat is a must read
before reading Bull Durham Barn

Flat Brimmed Hat
May 9 2022

After the long winter and snow started to melt
I stopped by the old hatters to price, a 100X beaver felt
Shaping it would be with a gentle pencil roll on the brim
Down in front, up in back, he cleared his throat, ahem ahem

"Wouldn't this crease or that be more for a young person your age
Don't you want to be fashionable like the movie star, Hollywood rage?"
"No," I said, "I don't, you see each shape of this hat comes from ancestors of old"
"Will you tell me those stories," he asks, "If my asking is not too bold."

I shared my ancestors' stories from Colorado, Arizona, and Texas
Stories of ranching and rodeo, with hardships that affected both sexes
His mannerisms told me it was time to leave, he had heard enough
To make me a hat that was versatile, all-weather, comfortable and tuff

I wore that hat in all seasons and weather for ten years more or less
Before it was stolen right off my head during a crowded rodeo mess
Why did it survive through all the hardships, what's the reason
Just to be stolen off my head, during a fun rodeo season

It was on my head, during one bad fire season so frightening
With ambers falling all around, a fire started by fast lightening
So you see those brim burns, from embers all a glow
They fell like it was winter and I was caught in the snow

Wasn't a fashion statement put there for a diva to wear
My hat protected me from burnt, singed, and damaged hair
Those blood stains came from a deep ugly leg gash
It served as a band aid, held on firm with rope lash

The dirt, the manure, even the result of eggs broken
Gave it character, made its story, a real one not a token
You see, that custom hat from 100X beaver
Even served in the pickup, when I puked from a fever

My hat was stolen off my head, but my mind retains the stories
The thief will never know that hat, with all its boastful glories
A hat is just a hat, a cover, without all the glorious tale
Like times it saved my noggin, from unexpected hail

Contemplating getting a new flat brimmed 100X beaver hat
Makes me wonder what stories it will have, with brim so flat
Maybe it will make me a better person, the Bible says, well
Not even all the great attributes of 100X, will hold up in hell

Bull Durham Barn
April 29 2025

I did a lot of foolish things I said, she said she didn't know
And it didn't matter no how, since it was many years ago

As I swallowed a shot from her drink, tasting coffee down
I continued blabbing as we loaded, heading Pendleton town

I never chewed tobacco, smoked once, and never committed crime
But I did wear too short of shorts, scandalous, since past my natural prime

I never chewed, cheeked, or spat Old Bull, so let me be direct and clear
I was once too long in the rodeo garden, with mugs of frosty beer

You ever remember a ranch girl burning her bra, I mused and asked
She said she didn't recollect, such nonsense was history, it didn't last

You ever go to rodeo braless I asked, and then I could see
That was a foolish question, she was a triple D

Great for you she says, with your chest so small and flat
Since such was very hurtful, I changed the subject at that

Why is it that men never listen or pay attention, she inquired
Beats the poo out of me, leaves me speechless, I backfired

I know men don't listen to me, because I talk a lot
Pausing from my babble briefly, taking another coffee shot

On the other hand, you hardly talk and won't say poo bull
Even if flying manure hits the fan, and fills your mouth up full

Why men are so deaf, don't listen, can't hear the female word
No answer ever comes to me, no answer has been heard

With business finished in the town, well known for Let er Buck
We sashayed our denim clad behinds back, to the pickup truck

After lunch and chatter, stool seated, at the old cowboy grill
The day was young so killing time was fun, time that we had still

To take the back road off the freeway, beckoned slow and cool
Back to where I posed at the old barn ad, for the Durham Bool

That was years ago, years like chickens have flown the proverbial coop
Many memories from the day we drove, cruised the old back roads loop

Donned in shorts, short from jeans legs ripped, beyond any skillful mend
I grabbed my hat, not to diva pose, but to hold, securing from the wind

With my 100X beaver, rodeo stolen years before, the memory still not dead
This one, though Beaver of a Lesser Felt, secured, hand placed upon my head

 

[Older Whiskey]

Beaver of a Lesser Felt
April 30 2025

With my daily ranch, range, and cattle days, in the rear of view
I decided I didn't need a hat, black, brown, gray, or blue
Then one day a whipping branch, my forehead it left a welt
That had me reconsidering, a hat, a beaver of lesser felt

While I desired a purer felt, the price was much too high
It didn't make sense for purer felt, that's fact I will not lie
You see, every X added, the price goes up, up toward the sky
So many considerations choosing a hat, deciding what to buy

If I recollect correct, the hat I bought was X twenty
With full crown ivory brown, it was utility snazzy nifty
I opted for sun blocking, shade from the flat brim
Paired with dark sunglasses, the sun was very dim

That hat of lesser beaver felt, I had for many a moon
Before I gave it to friend, one sunny afternoon
She gave it to her daughter grand, that wore it ridin low
Racing on the old river trail, wind caught, it was seen no mo

I often wonder how the 20X held up, saturated in river silt
Only the sturgeon know, but they are mum harboring no guilt
I think my days of custom hats, in the cowboy ranch tradition
Are over, here's hoping you understand, my unique position

 

[webfoot]

I have cowboy hats. Nothing high quality. Just off the shelf stuff. 2 felts and 3 straws. But the truth of the matter is I only wear a cowboy hat 4 or 5 times a year. I have a large stack of ball caps which get worn regularly. I would say they are all cheap give me hats...... except 2 of them. The New Holland tractor hat cost $24,000 and they threw in a tractor for free. I wrote a check for $16,200 for the D&M Feeder hat and by gosh they hooked up a feeder to the pickup for me.
There was a time when I wore a cowboy hat all the time. I was living on the WA coast. Then the movie Urban Cowboy came out. There was suddenly people wearing what they though were cowboy hats. These hats looked like a chicken flew into the front of the hat. I didn't want to be mistaken for one of that crowd so I switched to ball caps. Now I live in cowboy country where lots of my neighbors wear cowboy hats all the time. I need to reach a bit higher on the hat rack as I walk out the door.

 

[Faster horses]

I have cowboy hats. Nothing high quality. Just off the shelf stuff. 2 felts and 3 straws. But the truth of the matter is I only wear a cowboy hat 4 or 5 times a year. I have a large stack of ball caps which get worn regularly. I would say they are all cheap give me hats...... except 2 of them. The New Holland tractor hat cost $24,000 and they threw in a tractor for free. I wrote a check for $16,200 for the D&M Feeder hat and by gosh they hooked up a feeder to the pickup for me.
There was a time when I wore a cowboy hat all the time. I was living on the WA coast. Then the movie Urban Cowboy came out. There was suddenly people wearing what they though were cowboy hats. These hats looked like a chicken flew into the front of the hat. I didn't want to be mistaken for one of that crowd so I switched to ball caps. Now I live in cowboy country where lots of my neighbors wear cowboy hats all the time. I need to reach a bit higher on the hat rack as I walk out the door.

I hear you about those 'urban cowboy hats'. They were AWFUL!

Not many wear cowboy hats around here any more; but Mr. FH still wears his. In fact, we just got 2 cleaned
and the lady who does the work revived his old work hat. He's so proud of that old hat, he really didn't think she could clean it but he got a big surprise! Cost of cleaning one hat was $125; it seems like a lot until you check the prices of hats these days. Besides, these hats were his FRIENDS!!

Here is Chris LeDoux in Casper, Wy. Youtube says its from 9 years ago in Casper, WY.
I'm sure most of you have heard it but here it is anyway. This Old Cowboy's Hat:

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

I like wearing a hat but don't that often.
Seems we have more wind than ever, working around machinery and riding a quad a cap just works better.
I think the benefits of shade from a wide brim are positive.

 

[Older Whiskey]

@Faster horses Well I am disappointed to hear that Mr. FH paid good money to get his hat clean. In my family, a dirty hat was a badge of honor. Is was a tradition before any hat was shaped to take it out and grind it in manure, then grind in some dirt, then soak it for days in what ever liquid gave the tone you wanted (different berries made some interesting tones) (tobacco and coffee made nice earth tones) then rinse and take out and beat it back and forth on a fence post. Then stream and shape.

@webfoot My dad always wore a hat when outside. It was usually a ball cap from the coop, feedstore, or tractor company. His year around "cowboy" town hat was high quality straw and light color. His garden hat was a straw almost sombrero that he got in Mexico. The urban cowboy nonsense never set well with me. Like you, I dressed to make sure I wouldn't be confused with those two steppin buckle bastards and bitches.

@Big Muddy rancher I agree! Caps for operating machinery and hats for non windy days unless you have a string on it like kids on stick horses do.

I started wearing quality felt "cowboy" hats at 10 when one grandpa gave me one that belonged to a deceased family member. He had the brim cut down and it looked better flat. It fit me only with my hair up, since it was a bit too large. Here I am at 10 with that hat.

 

[webfoot]

This thread reminded me of something which would happen occasionally after the rodeos. Rodeo cowboys being the playful sorts that they are would snatch a hat off a friend. Drop it on top of a lit M80 firecracker. Firecracker went off and the hat..... well hat no more. This was always straw hats in the summer. Never a felt hat. Straw hats took a beating on rough stock riders so there were some which needed an M80 reshaping anyway.

 

[Older Whiskey]

New Hat Old Skirt
May 1 2025

It was outdoor wedding time, request were made for ladies in skirts and hat
Having no suitable hat, I went shopping finding one without fret or frat

Feeling sassy, although an old lassie, in my new hat and old skirt
I came to honor friends of friends, break bread, not to dance or flirt

A wind came up, a westerly, blowing my old skirt up high
With no time to think, I grabbed my hat, foolish, I cannot lie

I should have worn a pencil skirt, avoiding indecent shame
Is was a bad decision, my bad, there is only one to blame

When asked why I didn't grab my skirt, why did I do in lieu
"What was seen under my skirt is old, this hat is brand new"