? For couples with age differences

[Triangle Bar]

Are there any married couples on here who are substantially older or younger than their spouse? Have the obstacles you have faced or will face to great? Do you have any regrets?

I hesitate to post this but I need some advice. I know what the value of free advice is but I am going to ask anyway. I have a great respect for folks on here.

My situation is my girlfriend is 20 and I am 40. We have known each other for 2 years. We work together on the ambulance & fire dept. and have witnessed both joy & much horror together. We have everything in common from Christianity, politics, country life, etc. When we are not together we talk or text each other for hours every night. It's not a question of whether we want to be together or not because we both want to.

I Guess I am afraid of making her a widow before she should ever have to think about that or being a burden to her. I don't want to ever cause her pain.

It could be that I am just an idiot. Tell me so if you want, it's all good.

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

If it's meant to be it's meant to be.

Enjoy yourselves while you can, in life any thing could happen and you could still have 40 plus good years together.

 

[loomixguy]

If it makes you happy, go for it. There may be times when you are more of a father than a husband, but that's OK. You're young enough nobody would accuse you of looking for a live in nurse, say, if you were 60 and she was 20. I've known 2 different couples with a 40 year age gap. They aren't couples anymore. If kids are going to be part of the equation, git er done....you don't want to attend graduation on a gurney. Now, if you have kids from a prior marriage, we'll save that for another discussion, but they shouldn't be essentially abandoned for the new wife...you had them before you had her.....just my 2 cents worth. Good luck!

 

[Triangle Bar]

I'm single, never been married and no kids.

Thanks for the replies

 

[Shortgrass]

I'm told that the brain is an amazing organ. It work 24 - 7 without rest from the time of birth until we fall in love! My grand parents had 16 years difference, G'ma was a widow for years, but very happy and fulfilled with children and grandchildren. My daughter is 13 years younger than her spouse, and very happy.

 

[leanin' H]

My wife and I are 9 years apart. The only time it would of been weird was when I went to High School prom she was in 4th grade. :lol: But since I didn't meet her til I was almost 30 it didn't matter. What makes any good relationship work is work. If you like her and she likes you and ya get along and always do your best by one another, all the rest of the stuff have a way of smoothing out. My wife's Dad didn't think much of me coming around his daughter but I can't say as I blamed him. We are really good friends now. And my sweetheart is only my best friend, the mother of my kids and the best thing that ever happened to this dimwit.

One last piece of free advice. With every major decision in life, I have found it always pays off to take it to the Good Lord in prayer. Its amazing how he will let ya know what he thinks. Good luck to ya even if you are a cradle robber! :wink: (I mean that only in jest)

 

[Triangle Bar]

Thanks H. I needed a smile. Will see how it goes

 

[aspen]

A story on my mother's parents. He was 50, she was 28. My grandmother's sister said to her "You're not going to marry that old man, are you?" Her answer "Yes I am!!" They had a very happy marriage. He was 55 when my mother was born - the third of three kids.

My other set of grandparents had 17 years between them. They had 5 kids less than 3 years old (my dad is a twin). Maybe he was worried he would get too old to have all the kids he wanted...

 

[Denny]

My daughter is getting married this summer and there is 11 year age gap. I have a friend that is 14 years older than his wife and that looks to be working quite well. I would'nt worry about widowing her my brother was 6 months younger than his wife and passed away at 46 years old 3 years ago anything can happen and I bet she'll keep you young. Go for it.

 

[Soapweed]

My wife and I are 9 years apart. The only time it would of been weird was when I went to High School prom she was in 4th grade. :lol: But since I didn't meet her til I was almost 30 it didn't matter. What makes any good relationship work is work. If you like her and she likes you and ya get along and always do your best by one another, all the rest of the stuff have a way of smoothing out. My wife's Dad didn't think much of me coming around his daughter but I can't say as I blamed him. We are really good friends now. And my sweetheart is only my best friend, the mother of my kids and the best thing that ever happened to this dimwit. )

My bride is six years younger than me. Her sister is four years younger than her, and the sister's husband is three years her junior. One of their kids is older than our youngest, and one is younger than the Kosmo Kid. All of our combined five kids were pretty young at the time of a Sheridan County Fair in Gordon. We left the young ones with their grandparents for the evening, and the two couples of us headed for the dance at the Legion. We all felt unburdened and ready to have a good time. As we made our way to the car, Peach's sister remarked, "It's been a long time since we double-dated." I had to put it all in to perspective by saying, "Yes, when I would have been 18, Carol would have been 12, you'd have been 8, and Craig would have only been five years old." Their previous "double dating" hadn't involved either Craig or me. :roll:

One last piece of free advice. With every major decision in life, I have found it always pays off to take it to the Good Lord in prayer. Its amazing how he will let ya know what he thinks. Good luck to ya even if you are a cradle robber! :wink: (I mean that only in jest)

Great advice, leanin' H.

 

[Faster horses]

My wife and I are 9 years apart. The only time it would of been weird was when I went to High School prom she was in 4th grade. :lol: But since I didn't meet her til I was almost 30 it didn't matter. What makes any good relationship work is work. If you like her and she likes you and ya get along and always do your best by one another, all the rest of the stuff have a way of smoothing out. My wife's Dad didn't think much of me coming around his daughter but I can't say as I blamed him. We are really good friends now. And my sweetheart is only my best friend, the mother of my kids and the best thing that ever happened to this dimwit. )

My bride is six years younger than me. Her sister is four years younger than her, and the sister's husband is three years her junior. One of their kids is older than our youngest, and one is younger than the Kosmo Kid. All of our combined five kids were pretty young at the time of a Sheridan County Fair in Gordon. We left the young ones with their grandparents for the evening, and the two couples of us headed for the dance at the Legion. We all felt unburdened and ready to have a good time. As we made our way to the car, Peach's sister remarked, "It's been a long time since we double-dated." I had to put it all in to perspective by saying, "Yes, when I would have been 18, Carol would have been 12, you'd have been 8, and Craig would have only been five years old." Their previous "double dating" hadn't involved either Craig or me. :roll:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[DustDevil]

My wife and I are only 9 mos. apart so I can't speak from experience on age difference. But we did have big "suprise" born 4 days before our 22nd anniversary. Gus is 17 and 12 years younger than his sisters and I can't imagine how life would be without him, he'll be 15 in May. I was 41 goin' on 42 at his birth. But it keeps us young --or trying to be-- at least.

 

[rancher rick]

Gosh, age difference may or may not be real important in a relationship. I was 48 when I met my wife who at the time was 30. I have to say that she was a pretty mature "30" tho` I did have a few concerns about our age difference. After a few "dates", any concerns flew out the window. Fast Forward and we `ll have been together 22 years in April.......22 fabulous years, I might add. We got two teenagers raised and everybody "survived" the blended family experience. We are pretty proud of our girls who are happy & successful young women.
So, I`d say, Go for it!!