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For Ranch Wives Everywhere

Hanta Yo

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
3,662
Location
South Central Montana
My mother-in-law sent me this article, from the Agri-News (we don't get it anymore because it just plain p*%^#@ us off). Dated October 6, 2006. I dearly love my mother-in-law because she is a wonderful lady and... and... and... I just love her to death.

Notice I posted this under quotes, so I hope I don't get into too much trouble!! I will add my opinions at the end.


"For ranch wives everywhere"


"This time of year, when the cattle are being worked and shipped, is usually a time of high stress on ranch marriages – not unlike calving, lambing, planting, haying, combining, feeding, and all of the other seasons of ranch wife life.
Julie Carter of Carrizozo, New Mexico, whose 'Cowgirl Sass' articles sometimes appear in Agri-News, wrote these Ranch Wife 101 Guidelines, which seem very appropriate to share during shipping season. She is obviously a genius because these are good enough to hang on the refrigerator!

Never - and I repeat never – ever believe the phrase, 'We'll be right back,' when he has asked you to help him do something on the ranch. The echoing words, 'This will only take a little while,' have tricked generations of ranch wives and still today should invoke sincere distrust in the woman who hears them.
Always know there is no romantic intention when he pleadingly asks you to take a ride in the pickup with him around the ranch while he checks water and cattle. What that sweet request really means is that he wants someone to open the gates.

He will always expect you to be able to quickly find one stray in a four-section brush-covered pasture, but he will never be able to find the mayonnaise jar in a four-square-feet refrigerator.
Always load your horse last in the trailer so it is the first one unloaded. By the time he gets his horse unloaded, you will have your cinch pulled and be mounted up – lessening the chance of him riding off without you while your horse tries to follow with you hopping along beside it, still trying to get your foot in the stirrup.
Count everything you see – cattle especially, but also horses, deer, quail or whatever moves. Count it in the gate, or on the horizon. The first time you don't count is when he will have expected that you did. That blank eyelash-batting look you give him when he asks, 'How many?' will not be acceptable.
Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive a pickup to suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the feed off the back of the truck to avoid the opportunity for constant criticism of your speed, ability, and eyesight. ('How in the $@*! Could you NOT see that hole?')
Never allow yourself to be on foot in the alley when he is sorting cattle on horseback. When he has shoved 20 head of running, bucking, kicking yearlings at you and hollers, 'Hold 'em, hold 'em!' at the top of his lungs, don't think that you really can do that without loss of life or limb. Contrary to what he will lead you to believe, walking back to the house is always an option that has been exercised throughout time.
Don't expect him to correctly close snap-on tops on plastic refrigerator containers, but know he will expect you to always close every gate. His reasoning is that the cows will get out, but the food cannot.
Always praise him lavishly when he helps in the kitchen – the very same way he does when you help him with ranch work – OR NOT!
Finally, know that when you step out of the house, you move from 'wife' to 'hired hand' status. Although the word 'hired' indicates there will be a paycheck (that you will never see), rest assured that you have job security. The price is just right, and you will always be 'the best help he has' – mainly because you are the ONLY help he has!"


I enjoy riding around with my spouse, checking water, cows, calves, and I don't mind getting the gates :)

About choosing to throw the hay off the back of the truck: he's not dumb....especially if the wind is blowing 50 mph.

All the rest I still have to agree with :-)
[/b]
 
Years ago, sittin on a hilltop looking over a valley with daisies and cows, I told my other half. " Honey, ya know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna light a fire of passion in yer heart and I ain't gonna let it ever go out" Well she has walked by my side thru thick and thin and she is a heck of a good woman. Right now I'm gonna sign off and go tell her how much I appreciate her. Goodnight :D
 
read this one before way back and sat on my chair, laughing and nodding along!!! Could not help but to steal a glance at the hubby now and then just to get my point across!! I also enjoy going along with the hubby....when my own full-time job allows it!! Consider it kind of a "treat" to help him out!! :wink: :wink:
 
Shorthornguy said:
Years ago, sittin on a hilltop looking over a valley with daisies and cows, I told my other half. " Honey, ya know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna light a fire of passion in yer heart and I ain't gonna let it ever go out" Well she has walked by my side thru thick and thin and she is a heck of a good woman. Right now I'm gonna sign off and go tell her how much I appreciate her. Goodnight :D


:D :D :D Good for YOU Shorthornguy!!!! Hope you have LOTS of fun!! :wink:

BTW, we were putting on a harness on a gomer bull, for some reason he (the bull) loves the job but hates the harness... stupid me, I stuck my face way too far into the chute to get the nose strap around his nose, he shoved his head against mine and smashed my nose. It hurts like heck, nose is swollen up and my spouse isn't rubbing it in. I think he actually feels sorry for me :-) :-) :-)
 
:D I love it...embarrassed to say I still believe him when he says 'We'll be right back"You'd think after twenty-eight years I would just throw the bread dough away,instead of thinking it will make it to the oven :?

Wouldn't change it for the world :!:
 
You know, every woman who is going to marry a farmer or rancher should be given a copy of this article before the "I do's" are said. At least she'd know what she was getting into before it happens! Because, holey moley, it's ALL true!!!

Not that I mind doing some of the stuff mentioned. :wink: :)
 
Shelly said:
You know, every woman who is going to marry a farmer or rancher should be given a copy of this article before the "I do's" are said. At least she'd know what she was getting into before it happens! Because, holey moley, it's ALL true!!!

Not that I mind doing some of the stuff mentioned. :wink: :)

YUP! that is sooooo true, Shelly, we really should give a copy of this to any female who is marrying a rancher. At least she could get an idea of what's to come. I read something similar to this awhile ago on email, wish I kept it because it was dedicated to those women who were planning on marrying a rancher. Maybe it was already posted here someplace.

I really don't mind doing some of the stuff mentioned, either. I guess it makes your day interesting :roll:
 
BTW, we were putting on a harness on a gomer bull, for some reason he (the bull) loves the job but hates the harness... stupid me, I stuck my face way too far into the chute to get the nose strap around his nose, he shoved his head against mine and smashed my nose. It hurts like heck, nose is swollen up and my spouse isn't rubbing it in. I think he actually feels sorry for me

I dote theek he broke it, it is just plugged up ad Ib afraid to blow it because it will start bleedig agaid. Swellig is dowd, I theek I'll live :wink: :wink: :wink: At least by eyes art black :-)
 
My wife and I have talked a lot recently about her being more involved in the day to day stuff around here ( And me being more involved in the house :oops: ) I am not a fun person to work with at times because I do believe that y'all have ESP and should know what I am thinking from 1/2 mile away when I take my hat off and wave it.. :shock: :lol: :lol: But I am getting better and I think just realizing that I need to get better at it has helped a lot... The one thing that really helped was helping one neigbor who always yelled at his wife/girlfriend and seeing the look on her face and than latter working with a family that was the exact oppossite and seeing how happy those folks are... Farmer A has had 3 "wives" while farmber B is married to his high school sweetheart still. Hmmmm.. It was an eye opener for me...

I've gotten better and am looking forward to her working more with us out theere as it generally makes it a bit more fun when she is around.
 
there is a HUGE difference between a wife and a hired man. and that is something I often forget while working with my wife.

lay into one, and he may not sow up to work the next day. lay into the other and it is cold shoulder and hot temper for supper.

I seem to apologize a lot when working with my wife.....
 
'We'll be right back,' Yeah right......usually gone for hours while you sit and wait for them.....but that one time that you aren't ready for them to return in a hurry....they do it!!!!


Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive a pickup to suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the feed off the back of the truck to avoid the opportunity for constant criticism of your speed, ability, and eyesight. ('How in the $@*! Could you NOT see that hole?')

Remind him often that "he can walk home" he'll quit complainin about your drivin shortly. Oh heck no.....if he's with me he can throw the feed..that way I can push the gas pedal, there's always a chance he'll loose his balance on the truck and fall off!!!! And as for that "hole" it wouldnt be there if he hadn't been playin in the mud the last time it rained and got stuck there!!!!!

You will always be 'the best help he has' – mainly because you are the ONLY help he has!"
AND HE KNOWS IT!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I dearly love Mr Lilly......been puttin up with him for goin on 23 years now. If we couldn't work together it wouldnt have lasted this long. But there are times....toes get stepped on... it might be mine or it might be his.....but we later apologize and everthang's hunky dorey fine again. (LOL Until the next time he tells me, "hold em, hold em")
 
Hanta Yo said:
BTW, we were putting on a harness on a gomer bull, for some reason he (the bull) loves the job but hates the harness... stupid me, I stuck my face way too far into the chute to get the nose strap around his nose, he shoved his head against mine and smashed my nose. It hurts like heck, nose is swollen up and my spouse isn't rubbing it in. I think he actually feels sorry for me

I dote theek he broke it, it is just plugged up ad Ib afraid to blow it because it will start bleedig agaid. Swellig is dowd, I theek I'll live :wink: :wink: :wink: At least by eyes art black :-)
Ouch! I hate to laugh at you, but... Maybe this would be a good time to post that frontal pic that OT's been hinting for. :lol:

Thanks for the original post, by the way. A ranch wife is really a priceless thing...
 
Texan said:
Hanta Yo said:
BTW, we were putting on a harness on a gomer bull, for some reason he (the bull) loves the job but hates the harness... stupid me, I stuck my face way too far into the chute to get the nose strap around his nose, he shoved his head against mine and smashed my nose. It hurts like heck, nose is swollen up and my spouse isn't rubbing it in. I think he actually feels sorry for me

I dote theek he broke it, it is just plugged up ad Ib afraid to blow it because it will start bleedig agaid. Swellig is dowd, I theek I'll live :wink: :wink: :wink: At least by eyes art black :-)
Ouch! I hate to laugh at you, but... Maybe this would be a good time to post that frontal pic that OT's been hinting for. :lol:

Thanks for the original post, by the way. A ranch wife is really a priceless thing...

You want to see how much her and Mike Tyson look alike :???: :wink: :lol:
 
YUP Lilly, you got it. I'm a city person (NOT at heart, I've ALWAYS wanted to be a rancher's wife) and never had to grow up with the stress of working cows (esp MEAN cows - which seem to cause alot of probs between husb and wife...MEAN cows run wives up the fence, I don't like MEAN cows)

Anyway, I'm glad some of you menfolk are thinking about this post, I posted it not with the intention of making you guys look bad, it was a funny. Soooooo thank YOU guys for taking it more seriously and think really hard about when your wives help. I love working cows, working with my spouse doing other things, checking water, etc etc. I just love being with him. :heart:
 
Oldtimer said:
Texan said:
Hanta Yo said:
I dote theek he broke it, it is just plugged up ad Ib afraid to blow it because it will start bleedig agaid. Swellig is dowd, I theek I'll live :wink: :wink: :wink: At least by eyes art black :-)
Ouch! I hate to laugh at you, but... Maybe this would be a good time to post that frontal pic that OT's been hinting for. :lol:

Thanks for the original post, by the way. A ranch wife is really a priceless thing...

You want to see how much her and Mike Tyson look alike :???: :wink: :lol:
You've already seen her? :lol:
 
jigs said:
I seem to apologize a lot when working with my wife.....
That is so true, jigs. I do the same thing...a lot. So much that it probably doesn't even do any good. Mine started a new requirement for apologies. Now I have to look like I mean it. I have guidelines - complete with a pic that somebody sent her in an email. I think I'll post it in the Coffee Shop so that the rest of you guys can start using it.
 
I'm pretty lucky. Mr. FH has learned successfully how to work with women.
Especially cow work.

There have been times in the past when I have gone to the house,
but it never was working cows. It's when he needed pulled out when
something wouldn't start OR he was stuck. I swear, he uses the
same hand signal for STOP, GO, BACK UP, TURN RIGHT, TURN LEFT.
How the heck do I know what he wants? He thought I was a mind
reader... :wink:

Once I left him a time or two he kinda figured out what Dr. Phil
asks people on his program. "How's that working for you?"

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

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