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funny classified ads in a UK newspaper

B

beethoven

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Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
746
Location
alberta
http://www.signsfunny.com/2010/04/06/funny-classified-ads-in-a-u-k-newspaper/

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog… able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

*** And the WINNER is… ***
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica,
45 volumes.
Excellent condition…..£200 or best offer.
No longer needed; got married last month.
Wife knows bloody everything!
 
THESE ARE GREAT!

How bout this one!



Big grade gelding. Been used as a pickup horse until he got hooked by a bull. Think he has a split personality, some days he's great, some days he's a real prick. No secrets here, you need to tranq him to shoe him or he will try and kick your head off. He has been used for branding, moving cows, ranch roping ect. And like I said, some days he is great, we have had beginner riders on him and they have done fine, I have ridden him in the hills or gathered on him and he was fine,He is not great to catch, although we have him turmed out on 140 acres so he can leave if he wants, but in a smaller pen he is much better. he just needs someone that isnt going to take his shirt on a regular basis. He needs to be taken and used. If you are looking for a horse that you can ride twice a year, well then this is not the horse for you., But if you use your horse as often as you change your pants then he will probably suit you perfect. We bought him with the intention of selling him and because we have more than enough horses he has gone to the bottom of the priority barrel. He is not a horse for the faint hearted, if you are handy and need a project or if you think you are handy and need to try and prove it. Please call 406-239-8634. I think he is about 11 years old. 15.3 hands. Anwsers to the name of Dick. Ok, he doesn't anwser, thats just what I call him. $2,500 obo.
 
Tea said:
THESE ARE GREAT!

How bout this one!



Big grade gelding. Been used as a pickup horse until he got hooked by a bull. Think he has a split personality, some days he's great, some days he's a real prick. No secrets here, you need to tranq him to shoe him or he will try and kick your head off. He has been used for branding, moving cows, ranch roping ect. And like I said, some days he is great, we have had beginner riders on him and they have done fine, I have ridden him in the hills or gathered on him and he was fine,He is not great to catch, although we have him turmed out on 140 acres so he can leave if he wants, but in a smaller pen he is much better. he just needs someone that isnt going to take his s*** on a regular basis. He needs to be taken and used. If you are looking for a horse that you can ride twice a year, well then this is not the horse for you., But if you use your horse as often as you change your pants then he will probably suit you perfect. We bought him with the intention of selling him and because we have more than enough horses he has gone to the bottom of the priority barrel. He is not a horse for the faint hearted, if you are handy and need a project or if you think you are handy and need to try and prove it. Please call 406-239-8634. I think he is about 11 years old. 15.3 hands. Anwsers to the name of Dick. Ok, he doesn't anwser, thats just what I call him. $2,500 obo.
Click to expand...

That's Oldtimer's phone number. :lol: :lol:
 
Tea said:
THESE ARE GREAT!

How bout this one!



Big grade gelding. Been used as a pickup horse until he got hooked by a bull. Think he has a split personality, some days he's great, some days he's a real prick. No secrets here, you need to tranq him to shoe him or he will try and kick your head off. He has been used for branding, moving cows, ranch roping ect. And like I said, some days he is great, we have had beginner riders on him and they have done fine, I have ridden him in the hills or gathered on him and he was fine,He is not great to catch, although we have him turmed out on 140 acres so he can leave if he wants, but in a smaller pen he is much better. he just needs someone that isnt going to take his s*** on a regular basis. He needs to be taken and used. If you are looking for a horse that you can ride twice a year, well then this is not the horse for you., But if you use your horse as often as you change your pants then he will probably suit you perfect. We bought him with the intention of selling him and because we have more than enough horses he has gone to the bottom of the priority barrel. He is not a horse for the faint hearted, if you are handy and need a project or if you think you are handy and need to try and prove it. Please call 406-239-8634. I think he is about 11 years old. 15.3 hands. Anwsers to the name of Dick. Ok, he doesn't anwser, thats just what I call him. $2,500 obo.
Click to expand...

That was FUNNNYYYYYYY! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Welcome!
 
Tea said:
THESE ARE GREAT!

How bout this one!



Big grade gelding. Been used as a pickup horse until he got hooked by a bull. Think he has a split personality, some days he's great, some days he's a real prick. No secrets here, you need to tranq him to shoe him or he will try and kick your head off. He has been used for branding, moving cows, ranch roping ect. And like I said, some days he is great, we have had beginner riders on him and they have done fine, I have ridden him in the hills or gathered on him and he was fine,He is not great to catch, although we have him turmed out on 140 acres so he can leave if he wants, but in a smaller pen he is much better. he just needs someone that isnt going to take his s*** on a regular basis. He needs to be taken and used. If you are looking for a horse that you can ride twice a year, well then this is not the horse for you., But if you use your horse as often as you change your pants then he will probably suit you perfect. We bought him with the intention of selling him and because we have more than enough horses he has gone to the bottom of the priority barrel. He is not a horse for the faint hearted, if you are handy and need a project or if you think you are handy and need to try and prove it. Please call 406-239-8634. I think he is about 11 years old. 15.3 hands. Anwsers to the name of Dick. Ok, he doesn't anwser, thats just what I call him. $2,500 obo.
Click to expand...

:lol: :lol:

i better go check the pasture...sounds like someone stole one of my horses and is trying to sell him.
 

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