Jinglebob
Well-known member
I got this in an email today. I dfon't know the author, but she's been there and done that!
I hope the lady who was looking for a cowboy reads this.
> >>My first idea was to create a list of rules for cowboys written by
> >>cowgirls, things that would bridge the understanding gap. But
> historical
> >>reaction by cowboys for advice given by their wifely partners made
> me
> >>realize the futility in the effort.
> >>
> >>Moving from that fleeting moment of "saving the world," I decided
> to help
> >>a small part of it by suggesting some basic advice to those
> considering
> >>matrimony to a cowboy. While this is by no means a complete guide,
> >>recognizing the following situations will save years of
> misunderstanding.
> >>
> >>Ranch wife 101 guidelines:
> >>
> >>1. Always load your horse last in the trailer so it is the first
> one
> >>unloaded. By the time he's got his horse unloaded, you will have
> your
> >>cinch pulled and be mounted up ready to go - lessening the chance
> of him
> >>riding off without you with your horse trying to follow while you
> are
> >>still trying to get your foot in the stirrup.
> >>
> >>2. Never - and I repeat never - ever believe the phrase "We'll be
> right
> >>back," when he has asked you to help him do something out on the
> ranch.
> >>The echoing words, "this will only take a little while" have
> filtered
> >>through generations of ranch wives and still today should invoke
> sincere
> >>distrust in the woman who hears them.
> >>
> >>3. Always know there is NO romantic intention when he pleadingly
> asks you
> >>to take a ride in the pickup with him around the ranch while he
> checks
> >>waters and looks at cattle. What that sweet request really means is
> he
> >>wants someone to open and close the gates.
> >>
> >>4. He will always expect you to quickly be able to find one stray
> in a
> >>four-section brush-covered pasture, but he will never be able to
> find the
> >>mayonnaise jar in four-square feet of refrigerator.
> >>
> >>5. Count every head of everything you see - cattle especially, but
> >>sometimes horses, deer, quail or whatever moves. Count it in the
> gate,
> >>out the gate or on the horizon. The first time you don't count is
> when he
> >>will have expected that you did. That blank eyelash-batting look
> you give
> >>him when he asks "How many?" will not be acceptable.
> >>
> >>6. Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive a
> pickup to
> >>suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the feed off
> the back
> >>of the pickup. If he is on the back and you are driving, the
> opportunity
> >>for constant criticism of speed, ability and your eyesight will be
> >>utilized to the full extent. "How in the *@*# could you NOT see
> that
> >>hole?"
> >>
> >>7. Never let yourself be on foot in the alley when he is sorting
> cattle
> >>horseback. When he has shoved 20 head of running, bucking, kicking
> >>yearlings at you and then hollers "Hold 'em, hold 'em" at the top
> of his
> >>lungs, don't think that you really can do it without loss of life
> or limb
> >>. Contrary to what he will lead you to believe, walking back to the
> house
> >>is always an option that has been used throughout time.
> >>
> >>8. Don't expect him to correctly close the snap-on tops on the
> plastic
> >>refrigerator containers, but know he will expect you to always
> close every
> >>gate. His reasoning, the cows will get out; the food will not.
> >>
> >>9. Always praise him when he helps in the kitchen - the very same
> way he
> >>does when you help with the ranch work - or not.
> >>
> >>10. Know that when you step out of the house you move from the
> "wife"
> >>department to "hired hand" status. Although the word "hired"
> indicates
> >>there will be a paycheck that you will never see, rest assured you
> will
> >>have job security. The price is just right. And most of the time
> you
> >>will be "the best help he has" even if it is because you are the
> ONLY help
> >>he has.
:lol:
I hope the lady who was looking for a cowboy reads this.
> >>My first idea was to create a list of rules for cowboys written by
> >>cowgirls, things that would bridge the understanding gap. But
> historical
> >>reaction by cowboys for advice given by their wifely partners made
> me
> >>realize the futility in the effort.
> >>
> >>Moving from that fleeting moment of "saving the world," I decided
> to help
> >>a small part of it by suggesting some basic advice to those
> considering
> >>matrimony to a cowboy. While this is by no means a complete guide,
> >>recognizing the following situations will save years of
> misunderstanding.
> >>
> >>Ranch wife 101 guidelines:
> >>
> >>1. Always load your horse last in the trailer so it is the first
> one
> >>unloaded. By the time he's got his horse unloaded, you will have
> your
> >>cinch pulled and be mounted up ready to go - lessening the chance
> of him
> >>riding off without you with your horse trying to follow while you
> are
> >>still trying to get your foot in the stirrup.
> >>
> >>2. Never - and I repeat never - ever believe the phrase "We'll be
> right
> >>back," when he has asked you to help him do something out on the
> ranch.
> >>The echoing words, "this will only take a little while" have
> filtered
> >>through generations of ranch wives and still today should invoke
> sincere
> >>distrust in the woman who hears them.
> >>
> >>3. Always know there is NO romantic intention when he pleadingly
> asks you
> >>to take a ride in the pickup with him around the ranch while he
> checks
> >>waters and looks at cattle. What that sweet request really means is
> he
> >>wants someone to open and close the gates.
> >>
> >>4. He will always expect you to quickly be able to find one stray
> in a
> >>four-section brush-covered pasture, but he will never be able to
> find the
> >>mayonnaise jar in four-square feet of refrigerator.
> >>
> >>5. Count every head of everything you see - cattle especially, but
> >>sometimes horses, deer, quail or whatever moves. Count it in the
> gate,
> >>out the gate or on the horizon. The first time you don't count is
> when he
> >>will have expected that you did. That blank eyelash-batting look
> you give
> >>him when he asks "How many?" will not be acceptable.
> >>
> >>6. Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive a
> pickup to
> >>suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the feed off
> the back
> >>of the pickup. If he is on the back and you are driving, the
> opportunity
> >>for constant criticism of speed, ability and your eyesight will be
> >>utilized to the full extent. "How in the *@*# could you NOT see
> that
> >>hole?"
> >>
> >>7. Never let yourself be on foot in the alley when he is sorting
> cattle
> >>horseback. When he has shoved 20 head of running, bucking, kicking
> >>yearlings at you and then hollers "Hold 'em, hold 'em" at the top
> of his
> >>lungs, don't think that you really can do it without loss of life
> or limb
> >>. Contrary to what he will lead you to believe, walking back to the
> house
> >>is always an option that has been used throughout time.
> >>
> >>8. Don't expect him to correctly close the snap-on tops on the
> plastic
> >>refrigerator containers, but know he will expect you to always
> close every
> >>gate. His reasoning, the cows will get out; the food will not.
> >>
> >>9. Always praise him when he helps in the kitchen - the very same
> way he
> >>does when you help with the ranch work - or not.
> >>
> >>10. Know that when you step out of the house you move from the
> "wife"
> >>department to "hired hand" status. Although the word "hired"
> indicates
> >>there will be a paycheck that you will never see, rest assured you
> will
> >>have job security. The price is just right. And most of the time
> you
> >>will be "the best help he has" even if it is because you are the
> ONLY help
> >>he has.
:lol:
