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Going Under the Knife

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nr

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I'm finally having my shoulder surgery this week so thought it a good time for some grizzly Pre-Surgery Jokes. Any others out there?
(If my future posts sound more irrational than usual it is the Percocet talking. If there are NO further posts, send daisies!) :)

Things you Don't Want To Hear During Your Surgery:

Wait a minute, if this is her spleen, then what's that?

Uh-oh! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys... and this gal's got two of 'em.

Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?

I want all you interns to gather round while I try something new.

That's cool! Now can you make her leg twitch?!
 

Saddletramp

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A Texan went to the doctor and said he'd like to change his accent. The doctor said he'd have to change his nationality but that was a rather simple procedcer. The Doctor told him they would hook him up to a machine that would take out a small portion of his brain. "For instanst if you wanted to be french they'ed take a part out here." he explained as he pointed to a chart."If you wanted to become German they took out a part here." And so on. Well the Texan agreed to do it and had the surgury.When he woke up the Doctor was sitting there waiting for him to come to. The Doctor said,"Now before you say any thing we had a little mishap. We put you on the machine and then we went for coffee and one thing lead to another and we kind of forgot you on the machine. Instead of a small portion of your brain we took out about 80% of your brain and frankly we don't know what nationality you are." The man sat up and said,"UUFFDA.!"
 

Soapweed

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Big Muddy rancher: "Will you be able to play the violin after your surgery?"

That reminds me of the guy who broke his arm and the doctor fixed him up pretty good with a cast and all the trimmings. The patient said, "Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after this cast comes off?" The doctor assured him that he would be able to. The patient replied, "Well, good, because I never could play before."
 

ranchwife

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nr.....best of luck on your scheduled surgery....i have complete faith you will do just FINE :wink: :wink:
as for things you DON'T wanna hear...
"what do you mean the scalpel count is off??!!" :shock:
"i'm not really a surgeon...but, i DID stay at a Holiday Inn lastnight"

will be looking forward to those percocet induced writings of yours when all is said and done :D

always
kris
 

Hanta Yo

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In case you think I'm getting weird....NOT...if I agree with someone and have nothing else to say, what can I say???? I guess I can make it different than "me, too, with ranchwife"...just agreeing with her...guess I have to quit digging myself a hole... :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
 

ranchwife

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Hanta Yo said:
In case you think I'm getting weird....NOT...if I agree with someone and have nothing else to say, what can I say???? I guess I can make it different than "me, too, with ranchwife"...just agreeing with her...guess I have to quit digging myself a hole... :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

me too, with hanta yo :wink: uhhh, i mean...."i agree" :shock: :D
 

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