There is not much people or traffic where I live. My kid <3YO>was getting to the point that if he did see somebody <say a pickup driving by>that he would screech and run to the house crying and then hide>. We put him in daycare<at great expense> a couple of days a week in town just to get him used to other people besides us.
Is the wife's town job really helping?
- Thread starter needtolearn
- Start date
Ranch Mom
Well-known member
Soapweed, we have done that, (sort of). I had one kid in the car seat in the tractor and the two older boys played in the tent in the shade of a huge tree in our hay meadow. lol That was before Felicity was born. We had lots of "emergencies" also, but I at least got a little raking done. (of course I made dear hubby hook up the air cond. tractor to the rake for me :wink
Also thanks for all the ideas and support people have shown. :???: :shock: ET Doc-I know you're right, but then again??? I guess we will have to decide sometime soon. This is the time of year a teacher needs to apply, but then again if we ignore it long enough, maybe it will go away. lol
Need to learn, I agree with everyone, keep trying and offering and tell your hubby how you feel, how much you want to help. In time, you should be able to work into some new traditions with you included. Working together in families is never very easy. Try to be patient. :wink:
Hired Man's Wife, I think you are right too, as far as pay, it is really hard to make anything pay with babysitting at minimum wage, but other jobs (like teaching and nursing) it is hard to make it not look good on paper.
This is how my kids spend a lot of their time when I am around, I like it this way. :wink:
Also thanks for all the ideas and support people have shown. :???: :shock: ET Doc-I know you're right, but then again??? I guess we will have to decide sometime soon. This is the time of year a teacher needs to apply, but then again if we ignore it long enough, maybe it will go away. lol
Need to learn, I agree with everyone, keep trying and offering and tell your hubby how you feel, how much you want to help. In time, you should be able to work into some new traditions with you included. Working together in families is never very easy. Try to be patient. :wink:
Hired Man's Wife, I think you are right too, as far as pay, it is really hard to make anything pay with babysitting at minimum wage, but other jobs (like teaching and nursing) it is hard to make it not look good on paper.
This is how my kids spend a lot of their time when I am around, I like it this way. :wink:
Have you considered starting your own daycare??? It looks like you would be perfect with a teachers degree and plenty of room to play. It would be a great experience for the kids who would not know of the ranch life and as you know people expect to pay for good daycare.
My son and daughter both grew up in the cab of a John Deere - - - one of the reasons I bought that tractor was that in 1974 you had very few choices as to a comfortable cab that was sound proofed and air conditioned.
The cab on the combine was big enough my son could set up a small farm on the floor. Cooler behind the seat, fresh wipes, toys and later a 4"TV and he was set for the day.
My son and daughter both grew up in the cab of a John Deere - - - one of the reasons I bought that tractor was that in 1974 you had very few choices as to a comfortable cab that was sound proofed and air conditioned.
The cab on the combine was big enough my son could set up a small farm on the floor. Cooler behind the seat, fresh wipes, toys and later a 4"TV and he was set for the day.
Ranch Mom
Well-known member
yep I have considered it but we live too far out, none of our 4 neighbors need daycare and it is a 25 minute 15 mile drive on not graveled roads to town. Plus we live in a 16 x 80 (we barely fit :wink: )I could rent a house in town maybe but that would negate most income and my kids would still be sick. It would be an idea though. ThanksNorthern Rancher
Well-known member
We've done both the extra money helps I will admit but we do survive without it-with 4 kids who play every sport imaginable at a high level it gets a bit costly but they're only young once-they play hard and work hard.
the_jersey_lilly_2000
Well-known member
You know......after lookin at your pictures of your kids ( beautiful kiddos I might add) I don't know if I could do what I do now, with kids in tow.
I guess back when mine were little I just didnt give it a whole lot of thought.....they just went where ever we did, and made do. I remember when Lil Lilly was a baby, I'd put her in her car seat, and put it up on top of the truck with an old umbrella slammed in the door to make shade for her, and she had the best view of the cow workin at the pens.
Our son would sit on a round bale and watch. By the time Lil Lilly got big enuff to sit on the round bale......our son had turned green a time or two durin dehornin's and he didn't much care for workin cows after that. To this day he still doesn't care for it much at all.
I guess back when mine were little I just didnt give it a whole lot of thought.....they just went where ever we did, and made do. I remember when Lil Lilly was a baby, I'd put her in her car seat, and put it up on top of the truck with an old umbrella slammed in the door to make shade for her, and she had the best view of the cow workin at the pens.
Our son would sit on a round bale and watch. By the time Lil Lilly got big enuff to sit on the round bale......our son had turned green a time or two durin dehornin's and he didn't much care for workin cows after that. To this day he still doesn't care for it much at all.
Ranchmom,I had to giggle when seeing your kids with crayons...my niece had her kids,2boys 1girl in truck,kids in back,they were playing nice coloring,when she got to the shopping mall to take the kids out the two boys had drawn with felt markers ALL over thier little sisters face :shock:
the_jersey_lilly_2000
Well-known member
Uhggg...they were just showin their artistic side!!!! hehehe too funny.
needtolearn
Active member
Hello to all my new friends.
Guess what I've been doing while you were all busy being mom's and mom's hubbys, and posting in this thread like crazy?
I was helping my hubby!!!! I had so much fun, everyone. My daughter and I did the calf checking on the fourwheeler. We had twelve in 24 hours, but not a single heifer needed a hand. We rode with Dad and helping pair out.
Then Grandpa came and took the granddaughter and let me help my man reunite a lost calf with her mum.
I'm sore, and dirty, and wind blown, and sun-burned, but, God above, I'm happy! Thanks to all you wonderful folks for sharing your lives with me, and giving me courage to pester my husband into letting me help out. Oh, I can't wait for Monday, though the first thing he wants me to do is clean out the calving shed :shock: .
All you moms are great. Don't feel guilty for being who you are. If you love your kiddos, no matter where you are, they'll know that.
Guess what I've been doing while you were all busy being mom's and mom's hubbys, and posting in this thread like crazy?
I was helping my hubby!!!! I had so much fun, everyone. My daughter and I did the calf checking on the fourwheeler. We had twelve in 24 hours, but not a single heifer needed a hand. We rode with Dad and helping pair out.
Then Grandpa came and took the granddaughter and let me help my man reunite a lost calf with her mum.
I'm sore, and dirty, and wind blown, and sun-burned, but, God above, I'm happy! Thanks to all you wonderful folks for sharing your lives with me, and giving me courage to pester my husband into letting me help out. Oh, I can't wait for Monday, though the first thing he wants me to do is clean out the calving shed :shock: .
All you moms are great. Don't feel guilty for being who you are. If you love your kiddos, no matter where you are, they'll know that.
Jinglebob
Well-known member
needtolearn said:
Uh oh, now you've done it you fool! next thing you know, you'll be the night calver and sewing up prolapses.
Sad, so sad, to see a young woman gone astray.
:wink:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Enjoy.
the_jersey_lilly_2000
Well-known member
Well, I'll be jiggered!!!! I'm plumb happy for ya. Ain't it great???
Who says gittin dirty, sweaty, and sunburnt is all bad??
Keep it up, I'm glad you had a great time. We've found that bout the only time we (Mr Lilly and I) have together is when we work together here on the ranch.
Who says gittin dirty, sweaty, and sunburnt is all bad??
Keep it up, I'm glad you had a great time. We've found that bout the only time we (Mr Lilly and I) have together is when we work together here on the ranch.
needtolearn
Active member
To Jinglebob:
I'm too good at poker to be the night calver!
I'm too good at poker to be the night calver!
lazy ace
Well-known member
My wife has a good job and enjoys what she does and the insurance and extra cash is great.
If you really want the answer the second wife is where you really earn the extra income! :shock: You just need to manage your schedule really well...LOL! Just joking!
Have a good one
Lazy ace
If you really want the answer the second wife is where you really earn the extra income! :shock:
You just need to manage your schedule really well...LOL! Just joking!Have a good one
Lazy ace
Faster horses
Well-known member
Needtolearn, your post reminds me of when we had a milk cow and I didn't know how to milk. Mr. FH was guiding hunters and was very late getting home. The cow was at the barn bawling her head off, and I was feeling sorry for her. So I took the milk bucket and headed for the barn. I put the grain in the stanchion and got the milk cow in to milk. She was very gentle and a very easy milker (which I found out later.) Anyhow, she proceeded to eat and I proceeded to milk. I think I pushed the milk back up in her bag. She finished eating and turned her head around, giving me a very indignant look. So I got up and gave her some more grain. Sat back down and tried again to get some milk. This time when she finished her grain, she coughed. And coughed. And coughed. Then she looked at me like she couldn't believe I was still there. So I gave her some more grain. It's a wonder I didn't founder her.
I finally got her all milked out, but I really think if I had set the bucket under her and left her alone, she could have done it faster than I did. The milk just ran out of her...I got so I could milk her in 10 minutes once I learned how.
I found out that 'want to' and 'have to' are two different things. I always wanted to learn to milk, but never had to until that night.
I was pretty darn proud of myself. But I was sorry later on that I had ever learned. I am one of the people that say 'if you don't know how to milk a cow, DON'T EVER LEARN."
:wink: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
BYW, good for you for having a wonderful time ranchin'. There's nothing like it.
I finally got her all milked out, but I really think if I had set the bucket under her and left her alone, she could have done it faster than I did. The milk just ran out of her...I got so I could milk her in 10 minutes once I learned how.
I found out that 'want to' and 'have to' are two different things. I always wanted to learn to milk, but never had to until that night.
I was pretty darn proud of myself. But I was sorry later on that I had ever learned. I am one of the people that say 'if you don't know how to milk a cow, DON'T EVER LEARN."
:wink: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
BYW, good for you for having a wonderful time ranchin'. There's nothing like it.
Jinglebob
Well-known member
Faster horses said:
I never learned to milk a cow. I just don't feel I should take those kinds of liberties with a cow!
:wink:
Hanta Yo
Well-known member
Oh my gosh...
My first marriage I thought it was "the right thing to do" to send your kids off to pre-school or the babysitter. I can't believe my mom was such a "libber" from her I learned it was ok to "try out" your "potential husband" by living with him before marriage. Let someone else raise your kids. No wonder she was divorced when I was 18, I still had 2 younger sisters who had to deal with the divorce. I'm surprised my dad lasted til I was 18.
SOOoooo, I got married at 21, waited 6 years to have a baby, had both boys born by the time I was 30. Felt it was MY DUTY to send them off to babysitters while I chased after my dreams....and NOT being a mom.
Got divorced, met sw in college. He had his 2 kids, I had mine. We got college done, decided we wanted to manage a ranch instead of going for the pHD. Got pregnant with a girl, alot of stress with that since she was supposed to be a "trisomy" or a Mongoloid child. We had faith she wasn't and when she was born, she was absolutely NORMAL. Because of the blessing I changed my way of thinking concerning raising kids. RAISE YOUR OWN. You can make it work financially, just won't have all the nice "toys" you would like to have. (THAT is the problem of young adults nowadays, gotta have it NOW no matter who you owe). We found this job managing this ranch, the owner had no prob allowing us to use "us" to get the work done since we had "been there and done that" with hired people. Hired people quit for better wages and didn't care about the ranch (our experience only).
So our daughter was 1 month old when we moved here, this is the only life she knows. She was my "right hand man" until she started 1st grade. I home-schooled her when she turned 3 because she had a fit her "brother and sis were going to school and she wasn't". She was like a sponge and still is.
My greatest thrill in life was to raise my daughter by my side at home and share every experience in ranch life that I could. I was learning (since I was a city person) and I loved sharing it with our daughter. My husband, sw, was soooooooo great about breaking me into ranch life...I had worked for a vet before and knew alot about drugs and how to cure certain ailments. Never about real life on-the-ranch happenings. sw introduced me to these things, I am grateful forever.
I remember harrowing in the tractor, my very young daughter had to put up with it aged 1-3, she sat behind the seat of the tractor and napped the whole time. She was a good sport, slept there, but when she reached 3 she was getting too big to fit behind my seat.
She is now in 7th grade, straight "A" student, and was the only one who could answer this question in health class, "What is Colostrum"? Cracks me up. I WILL NEVER EVER forget the joy I felt when she was my right hand man until 1st grade.
When you put a pencil to it, there is no price you can put to raising your own kids. It is priceless.
I understand about being "allowed" to help out your husband. As long as your father-in-law is in the picture you will continue to have stress. Luckily, I met my 2nd husband after his grandpa died, so things were VERY different. Don't give up the hope, as long as GRAMPA is alive, things will not be good for you, needtolearn. DON'T give up. It seems when GRAMPA passes away alot of things change, including the genetics of the livestock, and letting wives help out. When sw and I run a cow in because she is having calving difficulty, we take turn running our arms in to get that calf born. Unfortunately we both have short arms so we get tired, but we take turns and get that calf born. Usually the calf is still alive...what a feeling to get that calf on the ground, using straw to get it breathing good...wouldn't change it for the world!!! We did it TOGETHER!!!
Hang in there, please.
Don't let your FIL and MIL see this. I could go on with MIL but that is a whole 'nuther chapter, and not my MIL, but sw's grandma.
My first marriage I thought it was "the right thing to do" to send your kids off to pre-school or the babysitter. I can't believe my mom was such a "libber" from her I learned it was ok to "try out" your "potential husband" by living with him before marriage. Let someone else raise your kids. No wonder she was divorced when I was 18, I still had 2 younger sisters who had to deal with the divorce. I'm surprised my dad lasted til I was 18.
SOOoooo, I got married at 21, waited 6 years to have a baby, had both boys born by the time I was 30. Felt it was MY DUTY to send them off to babysitters while I chased after my dreams....and NOT being a mom.
Got divorced, met sw in college. He had his 2 kids, I had mine. We got college done, decided we wanted to manage a ranch instead of going for the pHD. Got pregnant with a girl, alot of stress with that since she was supposed to be a "trisomy" or a Mongoloid child. We had faith she wasn't and when she was born, she was absolutely NORMAL. Because of the blessing I changed my way of thinking concerning raising kids. RAISE YOUR OWN. You can make it work financially, just won't have all the nice "toys" you would like to have. (THAT is the problem of young adults nowadays, gotta have it NOW no matter who you owe). We found this job managing this ranch, the owner had no prob allowing us to use "us" to get the work done since we had "been there and done that" with hired people. Hired people quit for better wages and didn't care about the ranch (our experience only).
So our daughter was 1 month old when we moved here, this is the only life she knows. She was my "right hand man" until she started 1st grade. I home-schooled her when she turned 3 because she had a fit her "brother and sis were going to school and she wasn't". She was like a sponge and still is.
My greatest thrill in life was to raise my daughter by my side at home and share every experience in ranch life that I could. I was learning (since I was a city person) and I loved sharing it with our daughter. My husband, sw, was soooooooo great about breaking me into ranch life...I had worked for a vet before and knew alot about drugs and how to cure certain ailments. Never about real life on-the-ranch happenings. sw introduced me to these things, I am grateful forever.
I remember harrowing in the tractor, my very young daughter had to put up with it aged 1-3, she sat behind the seat of the tractor and napped the whole time. She was a good sport, slept there, but when she reached 3 she was getting too big to fit behind my seat.
She is now in 7th grade, straight "A" student, and was the only one who could answer this question in health class, "What is Colostrum"? Cracks me up. I WILL NEVER EVER forget the joy I felt when she was my right hand man until 1st grade.
When you put a pencil to it, there is no price you can put to raising your own kids. It is priceless.
I understand about being "allowed" to help out your husband. As long as your father-in-law is in the picture you will continue to have stress. Luckily, I met my 2nd husband after his grandpa died, so things were VERY different. Don't give up the hope, as long as GRAMPA is alive, things will not be good for you, needtolearn. DON'T give up. It seems when GRAMPA passes away alot of things change, including the genetics of the livestock, and letting wives help out. When sw and I run a cow in because she is having calving difficulty, we take turn running our arms in to get that calf born. Unfortunately we both have short arms so we get tired, but we take turns and get that calf born. Usually the calf is still alive...what a feeling to get that calf on the ground, using straw to get it breathing good...wouldn't change it for the world!!! We did it TOGETHER!!!
Hang in there, please.
Don't let your FIL and MIL see this. I could go on with MIL but that is a whole 'nuther chapter, and not my MIL, but sw's grandma.
the_jersey_lilly_2000
Well-known member
Makes me glad my MIL NEVER comes to the pasture