Being a rancher's wife at Christmas time
Is not what it's cracked up to be.
The presents they receive from husbands
Do NOT fill them with joy or glee.
A brand new pair of fencin' pliers,
Even tho' wrapped in festive red,
Is not what this man promised me
On that day that we were wed~
But, next to them, a box of gloves.
Now, this may be exciting!
Until I see they're preg check gloves!
A WIFE REBELLION he's inciting!
Then comes a softer package
Wrapped up in denim blue.
A feedbag! For my Christmas dinner?
And scour medicine, for when I'm through!
This man is just too good to me!
As my gifts continue ten fold.
The next box yields a dozen tubes
Of WORM medicine! My breath I hold!
But now, the pas de resistance
Is when I'm drug to see outside,
MY sparklin' new manure spreader
Upon which I'm allowed to ride!
But he's not done and he's so proud
As he smirks and thinks he's so cute!!
He jerks back the burlap cover
Of MY hydraulic branding chute!
Well, what else could a woman ask for
On a wonderful Christmas morn?!
Maybe some color coded ear tags,
Her earlobes they might adorn!
But whatever gift her husband gives
A Rancher's Wife will only smile
And sweetly say that it was THE gift
She had wanted for quite some while.
© 2002, Brenda "Sam" DeLeeuw
Is not what it's cracked up to be.
The presents they receive from husbands
Do NOT fill them with joy or glee.
A brand new pair of fencin' pliers,
Even tho' wrapped in festive red,
Is not what this man promised me
On that day that we were wed~
But, next to them, a box of gloves.
Now, this may be exciting!
Until I see they're preg check gloves!
A WIFE REBELLION he's inciting!
Then comes a softer package
Wrapped up in denim blue.
A feedbag! For my Christmas dinner?
And scour medicine, for when I'm through!
This man is just too good to me!
As my gifts continue ten fold.
The next box yields a dozen tubes
Of WORM medicine! My breath I hold!
But now, the pas de resistance
Is when I'm drug to see outside,
MY sparklin' new manure spreader
Upon which I'm allowed to ride!
But he's not done and he's so proud
As he smirks and thinks he's so cute!!
He jerks back the burlap cover
Of MY hydraulic branding chute!
Well, what else could a woman ask for
On a wonderful Christmas morn?!
Maybe some color coded ear tags,
Her earlobes they might adorn!
But whatever gift her husband gives
A Rancher's Wife will only smile
And sweetly say that it was THE gift
She had wanted for quite some while.
© 2002, Brenda "Sam" DeLeeuw