Jesus and the Redneck

[Anonymous]

Jesus and the Redneck --

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said, "Give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "my treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke?" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?"

The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said "Give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, on my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm drawin' disability."

 

[kolanuraven]

Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many
> > > trips, President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair,
> > > wearing a white robe and sandals, and holding a staff. President
> > > Bush went up to the man and said, "Has anyone told you that you
> > > look like Moses?"
> > >
> > > The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead.
> > >
> > > The president said, "Moses!" in a loud voice.
> > >
> > > The man just stared ahead, never acknowledging the president.
> > >
> > > The president pulled a Secret Service agent aside and, pointing to
> > > the robed man, asked him, "Am I crazy or does that man not look
> > > like Moses to you?"
> > >
> > > The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed.
> > >
> > > "Well," said the president, "every time I say his
> > > name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead,
> > > refusing to speak. Watch!" Again the president yelled, "Moses!"
> > > and again the man ignored him.
> > >
> > > The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the
> > > white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses.
> > > Are you Moses?"
> > >
> > > The man leaned over and whispered back, "Yes, I am
> > > Moses. However, the last time I talked to a bush, I
> > > spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my
> > > people to the only spot in the entire Middle East where there is
> > > no oil."


Guess I'm just a glutton for punishment!! I thought this was funny....

 

[MsSage]

hmmmmmmm ok yeah go after the Bushs now ggeesshhhh first it was animals now plants........... goodness :wink:

That was wayyyyyyyyyy TOOO funny.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Buyer]

I just got home from Texas tonight. Went through Crawford and George didn't even ask us to supper. Met a friend in Valentine tuesday and went down to look at some heifers. Put on 2000 miles and seen a lot of country.